Open letters

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Dear Hannah,
Mommy loves you. I know you learned how to climb out of your crib tonight, but you are still 19 months old. That means it is past your bed time. Go to sleep.

Dear Bethany,
I love you. I don't care if you are 3 years old. That does not mean you get 3 helpings of cobbler, get to stay up until 3, or get 3 cups of milk all at once. You get one helping of cobbler, go to bed when you are told, and quit drinking your sister's milk. Oh, and could you quit taking your dress off and peeing outside? The raccoons and coyotes are starting to complain.

Dear Charlie,
I love you. I love that you try to be a good big brother and help your sisters. Please stop pointing them to trouble and instead point them away from trouble. I know being six and being the only boy is tough. That does not mean you have to fill a cup with dirt and water, bring it inside, hand it to Bethany and have her pour it on the carpet. It ouwl also make my life easier if you would leave the frogs, turtles, newts, and other wildlife outside. Thank you.

Hugs to all of you.

Love,
Mommy

[texaschickeee]

awwwwwwwwwwww

Mommy is having fun tonight I see.

[texaschickeee]

and quit drinking your sister's milk. Oh, and could you quit taking your dress off and peeing outside? The raccoons and coyotes are starting to complain.

that is priceless.

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Dear Hannah,
Your 19 month old tongue is too young to be looking at me and saying "NO." Quit taking lessons from your sister. And GO TO BED! And quit trying to look cute and innocent.

I love you.
Good night.

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Dear Husband,
Thank you for picking Hannah up and putting her head on your shoulder. She obviously needed her daddy and she looks so sweet asleep snuggled on your chest. Thank you for being a devoted husband and loving father.

Love,
Wife

[BrickCop]

Dear Hugh Hefner,

Ok what's the real deal with your three 'girlfriends? You look winded having a conversation with just one of them. Viagra doesn't improve cardio, who are you kidding?

Also why have you ignored my 1,347,893 letters and e mails asking for an invite to the mansion?

Sincerely,
Brick

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Why is she clueless?

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Dear Hugh Hefner,

Ok what's the real deal with your three 'girlfriends? You look winded having a conversation with just one of them. Viagra doesn't improve cardio, who are you kidding?

Also why have you ignored my 1,347,893 letters and e mails asking for an invite to the mansion?

Sincerely,
Brick

I hear he only answers the 1,347,894th letter.

[Mrs. Hoppes]

Are we caught in a loop here?

[texaschickeee]

Are we caught in a loop here?

no.. just not smart enough to leave well enough alone.

[1042 Trooper]

Dear Mr. Gates:

Just a measley 1 million. That's your pocket lint. Please?

Sincerely,

Mr 1042 Trooper

[Presence]

LOL.... i did something like this one time, except it was a piece entitled, "Letters to my Exes". I'll not repeat it here...