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The over-60 draft

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  • The over-60 draft

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.


    For starters:
    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone out run a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.


    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million ****ed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

    Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

  • #2
    You'll probably enjoy John Scalzi's "Old Man's War"

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    • #3
      That reminds me of one of guys that trained me in at my job. He's a Vietnam Combat vet from the 101st Airborne and him and one of his buddies tried to re-enlist after 9/11 but unfortunately for the Army, they said they were too old...

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      • #4
        Historically, the US Army has had 60 year old privates during major wars. Even the Army's own studies(and they do a lot of them) state that it's possible to be an effective infantryman into the early 60s. Thats assuming the man is in good health at that time(no injuries, good heart, etc).

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        • #5
          I actully did try to sign up after 9-11. At the time I was "only" 45.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by 1042 Trooper View Post
            I actully did try to sign up after 9-11. At the time I was "only" 45.
            I couldn't sign up really after 9/11 I was like 6 and in K-5

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            • #7
              I don't see why older people can't join... if they can pass the medical and physically hold their own why does it matter?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Taylor13 View Post
                I couldn't sign up really after 9/11 I was like 6 and in K-5
                That's what we need, 6-year olds with M-16's in Afghanistan.

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