The official O.com "police movie" collaboration

[Kieth M.]

Yes, TooOld, the dealer in automatic wepons, heroin, counterfeit US currency, sex slaves, and (worst of all) those wax candy teeth.

TooOld, and his three recently deceased minions were interrupted as they were bringing in a new shipment of....

[TooYoung]

PCP laced wrinkle cream for sale at the old folks homes

[CityCopDC]

But the PCP was really the powder they put on funnel cakes. They were really transporting frozen hotdogs. The ones that are made of cancerous rabbit meat and toad bladders. The west coast cops had been tailing the recently deceased untill the east coast cops (now heroes) decided to......

[TooYoung]

call in TooYoug for backup, becuase he could get to the evil TooOld better than they could. So TooYoung....

[CityCopDC]

Peformed an exorcism?? Because one of those jokers is dead. Eastcoast cops countinue on their slapcapade inadvertently slapping a westcoast cop which results in the whole east vs west thing. While the westcoast cops are preparing for battle against the lone leader guy, deacon and excorcist dude, eastcoast cops lube themselves up with ketchup, gravel and electrical tape while waiting for.......

[Kieth M.]

What else, a flashback, where the hero of our story, Detective John Starr, enters the police academy after finishing his stint in a highly secret special operations unit of the U.S. military. When assessed by his PT instructors as he arrived at the academy, it was clear in a few moments that he would outrun, out-PT, and out-perform any of them in self-defense, so they merely stood by, sheepishly while allowing him to become class leader and train his fellow recruits in a deadly form of hand-to-hand combat. The firearms staff, too, stood down after Starr scored a perfect 400/400 while firing with his "weak" hand while blindfolded. Starr graduated at the top of his class, then declined to have his name added to any plaques which might boast of his prowess. Starr broke every record at the academy, including running up a 30 day suspension for...

[Presence]

sleeping with all of the instructors' wives, repeatedly. With so many gorgeous women married to old geezers like those instructors, and begging for his attention, what's a man to do?

The scene cuts to Det. Starr in bed with a saucy, pouty looking redhead. He absentmindedly strokes her hair.
"John?", she asks.
"Yes?"
"Did you hear a noise?'' The sound of gunfire is prominent outside the window. John jumps up and runs to the window, peering out into the night. He sees a spaceship take off from the dock below, and a few rather greasy looking officers running around, apparently playing a game of slap-*****. John's sudden movement yanks the sheet away from the redhead. She tilts her head, a single red curl falls across her face as the sheet slides off her body, revealing her...

[farrellsm77]

amazing body... Det. Starr hesitates, then states "Baby, I have to go... My brothers need me!!!" He then dresses and belts on his Glock and runs down and jumps into his super cool Dodge Charger and tears a** toward the docks.

Later as the fire fight rages at the docks, a black Chargewr comes screaming in the gate and heads for the leader's position. Det. Starr leaps out of the moving vehicle with his tricked out "tacticool" M4 as the car continues on and crashes into the building in a blinding ball of flame. Det. Starr comes up on one knee, links up with the west coast officers and begins to engage...

[Kieth M.]

She tilts her head, a single red curl falls across her face as the sheet slides off her body, revealing her...

...USB port, so not only is she hot, the mayor's wife, she's also an android with artificial intelligence and maximum sexiness.

(Sorry, had to get this out, even though farrellsm77 beat me to the draw - we have to build from his post!)

[Guams]

She moves gracefully, unlike that of a typical robot. As she stands behind Detective Starr, her chest rotates and reveals a television screen. John is amazed and can't quit staring. Her eyes light up with a yellow glow and a video appears. John see's the man the in the video and thinks "a clue?" It doesn't dawn on him that quite yet that he's been...

[CityCopDC]

Later as the fire fight rages at the docks, a black Chargewr comes screaming in the gate and heads for the leader's position. Det. Starr leaps out of the moving vehicle with his tricked out "tacticool" M4 as the car continues on and crashes into the building in a blinding ball of flame. Det. Starr comes up on one knee, links up with the west coast officers and begins to engage...

In verbal judo. The east coast officers show their lack of training by saying such words as "sir", "please", "stop" "slapping" "me". While the west coast officers merely refer to everybody as biotch, perp or loser. This escalates the situation to deadly force but OH NOES!! Mr star's M4 is a "Simunition" M4 loaded with simunition rounds. As Mr starr and the west coast cops play hero and engage in a firefight with the bad people, the east coast cops slip into the house that mr star was just in and offer his "lady friend" some drinks. The east coast cops call in an order for 3 large pizzas, 2 cases of beer, axel grease, thongs and some ladies from the local brothel. The east coast cops and the ladies are now running around the house covered in axel grease watching the firefight through the windows untill.....

[Presence]

She moves gracefully, unlike that of a typical robot. As she stands behind Detective Starr, her chest rotates and reveals a television screen. John is amazed and can't quit staring. Her eyes light up with a yellow glow and a video appears. John see's the man the in the video and thinks "a clue?" It doesn't dawn on him that quite yet that he's been...

RICK ROLLED! Oh Noes!!

(Side note: This story is taking two different tracks, guys, let's get it back together. )

Det. Starr exits, goes to the dock in the charger, yada yada yada, and engages in verbal judo...

"The east coast officers show their lack of training by saying such words as "sir", "please", "stop" "slapping" "me". While the west coast officers merely refer to everybody as biotch, perp or loser. This escalates the situation to deadly force but OH NOES!! Mr star's M4 is a "Simunition" M4 loaded with simunition rounds. As Mr starr and the west coast cops play hero and engage in a firefight with the bad people, the east coast cops slip into the house that mr star was just in and offer his "lady friend" some drinks. The east coast cops call in an order for 3 large pizzas, 2 cases of beer, axel grease, thongs and some ladies from the local brothel. The east coast cops and the ladies are now running around the house covered in axel grease watching the firefight through the windows untill....."

one of them slips and plunges straight out the window, cascading down onto the docks below... It's the mayor's wife, that conniving redheaded robot! She is seconds away from plummeting to the ground when Det. Starr's battered charger transforms into a hovercraft. It swoops under her, the roof opening up to reveal the cushy interior. It catches her now naked robot body on the back seat, and then scoots quietly into a dark alley, waiting for the right moment.


The west coast officers, meanwhile, hold the bad guys at bay. One is hanging by his fingertips, over the edge of the dock, as one west coaster threatens him at gunpoint. What is your mission!?? Why are you here??

The frightened clinger spits at him, "i'll never tell you! Kiss my rear, you pig!"

Enraged, the west coast cop....

[CityCopDC]

RICK ROLLED! Oh Noes!!

(Side note: This story is taking two different tracks, guys, let's get it back together. )

I picked up from where Kieth said to.

[Guams]

Enraged, the west coast cop....

Places his foot on the fingers of the clinger. Knowing that dropping into the murky water below will result in certain death, the west coast cop, again, asks his mission. The bad guy smiles, revealing his gold front tooth, and states "I cannot say! The west coast cop places slight pressure on the bad guys finger and provides him one last chance. The bad guy flinches in pain and tells the west coast cop "We're here to seduce...






(Side note: I mis-read Keith's post and assumed we were building off of his... now that we're back on the right track... continue. )

[Kieth M.]

....Yet, he does not finish as both the bad guy and the west coast cop fall into the ocean, below. They resume their struggle, at night, ten feet below the surface, with absolutely no light source, yet they can see each other clearly enough, got enough air in their lungs on the way down, they can make out the details of objects on the ocean floor they can use as weapons. The bad guy picks up a piece of jagged rebar and begins to poke at the west coast cop. The west coast cop looks for anything he can use as a weapon and seizes a......