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favorite seinfeld lines

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  • #16
    NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!! - The Soup Nazi

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    • #17
      "Stelllla...STELLLAAAAAHHH!!!" - Elaine

      (this thread has me roaring)

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      • #18
        Kramer (after trying to find a bathroom): "It was an emergency, Jerry. I was really percolating."

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        • #19
          'I don't wanna be a cowboy!'

          'I don't wanna be a pirate!'

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          • #20
            It was shrinkage!!!!

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            • #21
              "You're killing independent George!" -George
              Refuse to be a victim-Support Concealed Carry

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              • #22
                "Say VanDelay Industries! Say VanDelay Industries!"

                (PAUSE)

                "And you want to be my latex salesman."
                If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                ---Jack Handey

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                • #23
                  "You're Batman."

                  "I AM Batman."
                  If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                  ---Jack Handey

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                  • #24
                    Elaine: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
                    If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                    ---Jack Handey

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                    • #25
                      Jerry: "OH! Delores!!!!"
                      If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                      ---Jack Handey

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                      • #26
                        Man, we could do pages and pages of this. Here are a few and I'm sure I'll add more later:

                        1.The episode where George pretends to be an oceanographer and pulls the golf ball from the whale: " The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli".

                        2. George when he sets up a phony meeting with that guy who insulted him just to use his new line:

                        Guy: George, the ocean called they're running out of shrimp.

                        George: The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

                        Guy: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

                        Frustrated George: I had sex with your wife.

                        Co-worker: His wife is in a coma, George.

                        3. A few from Jackie Chiles:

                        "They're real and they're spectacular".

                        " Who told you to use a balm? Have you ever seen a balm? Do you know what a balm can do".

                        "The tobacco companies? I've been wanting a piece of them for years"

                        4. And of course I'm a big Mets fan so I can't forget the Keith Hernandez episode with the reenactment of the Kennedy assassination.

                        Jerry: That was one magic loogie."


                        "Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it". George Constanza.

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                        • #27
                          (to George) "Rock climbing? ... where do you come off going rock climbing.. rock climbing? You need a boost to climb into your bed." - Elaine

                          "It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes."
                          - Jerry to Elaine
                          Jellybean400
                          gone
                          Last edited by Jellybean400; 06-16-2007, 01:04 AM.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Jellybean400 View Post
                            (to George) "Rock climbing? ... where do you come off going rock climbing.. rock climbing? You need a boost to climb into your bed." - Elaine
                            "It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes."
                            - Jerry to Elaine
                            Great episode.

                            " Step off, George".

                            Dan Cortez


                            "Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it". George Constanza.

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                            • #29
                              "Someone call a Marine Biologist"!!

                              When George was lying to his girlfriend about his profession.

                              A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday. Jonathan Swift 1667-1745

                              It's only a conspiracy when your party is not in power.

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                              • #30
                                female: "Oh, Jerry"

                                Jerry: "Oh...you"

                                When Jerry couldn't remember his girlfriend's name

                                A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday. Jonathan Swift 1667-1745

                                It's only a conspiracy when your party is not in power.

                                Comment

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