Just Received This - Help From Up North

[L-1]

An occasional treat for your Emotional Support Canadian should include imported donuts and coffee from Tim Hortons. You should do this at least once a month.

Please note - as part of quality control you will be required to submit monthly performance evaluations on your Emotional Support Canadian to their Group Manager, Politenessman, who is headquartered in Canada.

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Politenessman has been instructing Canadians on matters of courtesy for years.

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[Pogue Mahone]

And Timbits.

[L-1]

I believe your Emotional Support Canadian will thrive on moose meat and Labatt beer.

[tanksoldier]

So is that like the lab that comes to visit in the hospital?

Do I have to feed my emotion support Canadian?

I don’t keep really good maple syrup in the house usually, what else do they eat?

[CCCSD]

The slide has started and that’s it. Last American please turn out the lights...

[L-1]

Just received this from someone up north. Pete - was that you???

Dear American Conservative

Emotional Support Canadians are stranding by to assist you over the next few days during these troubled times in America. If you have yet to be assigned an Emotional Support Canadian, please be patient. One will contact you shortly.

That was followed by -

Will you be watching the series finale of the United States this week?