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  • Bad-*** Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

    I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

    But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-***" someone or something is.

    Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad *** Quotient) System:

    Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
    Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
    Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
    Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
    Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
    Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
    Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
    Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

    It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
    It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
    It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
    ETC...

    Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

    Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

    Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
    Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
    Wasp ================================================== = 3 BAQ
    Gerbil ================================================== = 5 BAQ
    Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
    Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
    Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
    Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
    House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
    Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
    Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
    Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
    Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
    Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
    Gilligan ================================================== = 306 BAQ
    Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
    Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
    Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
    3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
    Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ
    Zombie ================================================== == 749 BAQ
    Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
    Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
    Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
    Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
    Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
    George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
    Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
    Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
    Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
    Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
    Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
    Stalin ================================================== ==== 1,985 BAQ
    Pimp ================================================== ==== 1,990 BAQ
    Wolf ================================================== ===== 2,144 BAQ
    Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
    OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
    Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
    Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
    Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
    R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
    Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
    Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
    Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
    Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
    Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
    New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
    Mike Tyson ================================================== = 7,961 BAQ
    Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
    B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
    Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ
    Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
    Jackie Chan ================================================== 12,791 BAQ
    L.A. Cop (armed) ============================================== 15,480 BAQ
    Alligator ================================================== == 16,812 BAQ
    Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
    Rambo (armed with his knife) ===================================== 19,990 BAQ
    Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
    "7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================ 21,947 BAQ
    Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)============================ 22,110 BAQ
    Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================== 31,014 BAQ
    Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
    Elf (armed with sword) ========================================== 42,260 BAQ
    Lion ================================================== ===== 48,585 BAQ
    Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
    Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ===================================== 68,992 BAQ
    Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
    Vampire ================================================== == 79,323 BAQ
    Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
    Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
    Phoenix - from Greek mythology ================================== 98,200 BAQ
    Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
    bull ================================================== ===== 101,693 BAQ
    Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
    Robocop (armed) ============================================= 120,100 BAQ
    James Bond (armed with his gun) ================================= 131,007 BAQ
    Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
    Raptor ================================================== === 152,560 BAQ
    Chimera - from Greek mythology ================================== 189,324 BAQ
    Green Beret (armed with AK47) =================================== 190,221 BAQ
    Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ==================================== 203,331 BAQ
    B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
    Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
    Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
    Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
    Darth Vader (unarmed) ========================================= 292,405 BAQ
    Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
    Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
    Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) =============================== 1,000,059 BAQ
    Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
    Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ================================ 1,703,405 BAQ
    Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ================================= 2,164,403 BAQ
    Ellephant ================================================== = 3,064,416 BAQ
    Oliphaunt ================================================== = 9,193,248 BAQ
    Clifford the Big Red Dog ========================================= 9,224,710 BAQ
    Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
    Incredible Hulk ============================================== 10,005,106 BAQ
    Magneto - from X-men movie ==================================== 12,200,943 BAQ
    Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
    King Kong ================================================= 90,567,890 BAQ
    Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
    Godzilla ================================================== 101,052,302 BAQ
    Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" =============================== 120,425,300 BAQ
    Zeus - king of the Greek gods ================================= 2,009,907,329 BAQ

    You can find the whole list here:
    http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




    Questions for all of you...

    1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
    2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
    3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

  • #2
    someone going to get banned, remember the new system. If you wouldnt say it in church dont say it here.
    sigpicMy statements do not represent my agency.

    Comment


    • #3
      Definitely #3. On a related note, I once saw Screech whoop the dog snot out of Horshack, in a celebrity boxing match...wasn't pretty. Using your chart, Horshack was a -10 in BAQ

      tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick
      "Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought" ~Henri Louis Bergson
      ______________________


      ComptonPOLICEGANGS.com

      Comment


      • #4
        This is too funny.

        Me, probably a #1 step on me and you will get stung..
        if you really p1$$ me off then #3. I will find you and you will get stung.

        Generally speaking tho. 0 I'm quiet until provoked. hehehehe
        If you can't be honest with yourself who can you be honest with.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by exComptonCop View Post
          Definitely #3.
          Yep.
          But seriously, folks. I like GWB, but giving him 5 points over the drunk redneck? On his own, no Secret Service guys? He could probably sidestep as the redneck rushed him, and trip the drunk, or maybe duck out the back door of the bar and smack the guy in the face with a trashcan lid when the drunk came charging outside, but I dunno.

          And rating a rabbit that much higher than a gerbil? Okay, there's a weight ratio going on there, and rabbits do kick with their back feet, but again, I dunno. Some gerbils know that Gerbil Voodoo stuff.

          A lot of people (GWB included) could probably kick my butt in a fair fight, but "They don't pay me to fight fair, only to win."
          --
          Capital Punishment means never having to say "you again?"

          Comment


          • #6
            Cops are so funny

            Originally posted by suncrafter View Post
            I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

            But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-***" someone or something is.

            Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad *** Quotient) System:

            Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
            Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
            Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
            Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
            Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
            Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
            Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
            Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

            It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
            It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
            It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
            ETC...

            Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

            Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

            Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
            Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
            Wasp ================================================== = 3 BAQ
            Gerbil ================================================== = 5 BAQ
            Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
            Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
            Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
            Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
            House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
            Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
            Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
            Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
            Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
            Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
            Gilligan ================================================== = 306 BAQ
            Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
            Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
            Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
            3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
            Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ
            Zombie ================================================== == 749 BAQ
            Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
            Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
            Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
            Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
            Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
            George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
            Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
            Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
            Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
            Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
            Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
            Stalin ================================================== ==== 1,985 BAQ
            Pimp ================================================== ==== 1,990 BAQ
            Wolf ================================================== ===== 2,144 BAQ
            Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
            OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
            Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
            Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
            Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
            R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
            Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
            Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
            Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
            Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
            Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
            New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
            Mike Tyson ================================================== = 7,961 BAQ
            Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
            B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
            Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ
            Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
            Jackie Chan ================================================== 12,791 BAQ
            L.A. Cop (armed) ============================================== 15,480 BAQ
            Alligator ================================================== == 16,812 BAQ
            Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
            Rambo (armed with his knife) ===================================== 19,990 BAQ
            Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
            "7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================ 21,947 BAQ
            Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)============================ 22,110 BAQ
            Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================== 31,014 BAQ
            Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
            Elf (armed with sword) ========================================== 42,260 BAQ
            Lion ================================================== ===== 48,585 BAQ
            Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
            Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ===================================== 68,992 BAQ
            Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
            Vampire ================================================== == 79,323 BAQ
            Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
            Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
            Phoenix - from Greek mythology ================================== 98,200 BAQ
            Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
            bull ================================================== ===== 101,693 BAQ
            Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
            Robocop (armed) ============================================= 120,100 BAQ
            James Bond (armed with his gun) ================================= 131,007 BAQ
            Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
            Raptor ================================================== === 152,560 BAQ
            Chimera - from Greek mythology ================================== 189,324 BAQ
            Green Beret (armed with AK47) =================================== 190,221 BAQ
            Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ==================================== 203,331 BAQ
            B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
            Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
            Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
            Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
            Darth Vader (unarmed) ========================================= 292,405 BAQ
            Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
            Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
            Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) =============================== 1,000,059 BAQ
            Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
            Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ================================ 1,703,405 BAQ
            Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ================================= 2,164,403 BAQ
            Ellephant ================================================== = 3,064,416 BAQ
            Oliphaunt ================================================== = 9,193,248 BAQ
            Clifford the Big Red Dog ========================================= 9,224,710 BAQ
            Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
            Incredible Hulk ============================================== 10,005,106 BAQ
            Magneto - from X-men movie ==================================== 12,200,943 BAQ
            Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
            King Kong ================================================= 90,567,890 BAQ
            Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
            Godzilla ================================================== 101,052,302 BAQ
            Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" =============================== 120,425,300 BAQ
            Zeus - king of the Greek gods ================================= 2,009,907,329 BAQ

            You can find the whole list here:
            http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




            Questions for all of you...

            1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
            2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
            3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?
            Dude you are halarious!! that was funny. I about broke a kidney laughing.
            1) I was lucky enough to grow up fighting for sport with boxing and karate against peers so i learned quick before i became a cop those who's *** you kick kick yours on a given day..bottomline is, you win a few and you loose also. It keeps me from making stupid mistakes about underestimating people who want to fight when I arrest them. So my BAQ is never above anyones to play it safe.
            2} You should have maybe added a few true badass' of military history such as every man who lived and died on the Normandy beaches of WW11 and people like George Washington, Stonewall Jackson Chesty Puller and Dan Dailey two marine warhorses. Bruce Lee and Jet li? How about Dick Butkus and Jack Lambert, Ronnie Lott Jack Tatum too great of a list to go on. Muhamad Ali in his Prime?
            3)We all have too much time on our hands and should either be out working overtime or spending time with our children. such as life. I spend too much time here also.
            "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. The MARINES don't have that problem." ....Ronald Reagan

            Comment


            • #7
              I've updated my "Bad-A** Quotient" list! Unfortunetly the list is now too large to post here...
              So if you want to see the NEW and updated list, you will need to visit: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

              Here are just a few of the 100 or so people/things that I added to the list:

              Goose ================================================== ========== 205 BAQ
              Triumph - the insult comic dog =================================== 311 BAQ
              Mahatma Gandhi ================================================== = 409 BAQ
              Mr. Noodle ================================================== ===== 411 BAQ
              Stephanie - from "Lazy Town" ==================================== 498 BAQ
              "Bogeyman" ================================================== ===== 500 BAQ
              Paris Hilton ================================================== === 565 BAQ
              Sarah Silverman ================================================ 1,091 BAQ
              Al Franken ================================================== === 1,155 BAQ
              Charlie Chaplin ================================================ 2,585 BAQ
              Xenia Onatopp - from "GoldenEye" ============================== 6,022 BAQ
              Kira Nerys - from "Star Trek" ================================== 6,040 BAQ
              Genghis Khan (armed with spear, club and fuzzy hat) =========== 19,549 BAQ
              Captain America (armed with his shield) ===================== 44,966 BAQ
              Alyx Vance - from "Half-Life 2" (armed with pistol & shotgun)= 290,967 BAQ
              Rancor - monster from "Return of the Jedi" ================ 13,909,786 BAQ
              Mothra ================================================== = 115,537,207 BAQ
              Superman =============================================== 1,002,065,711 BAQ

              Like I said, the whole list (all 259) can be found here:
              http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

              Who or what else should I add to the list?


              I'll add these next time:
              Muhamad Ali
              George Washington
              Stonewall Jackson
              Chesty Puller
              Dan Dailey

              Anyone else I should add?

              Comment


              • #8
                Somebody has way too much time on their hands.
                "Well I'm here now, so deal with it."

                Comment


                • #9
                  You should have maybe added a few true badass' of military history such as every man who lived and died on the Normandy beaches of WW11 and people like George Washington, Stonewall Jackson Chesty Puller and Dan Dailey two marine warhorses. Bruce Lee and Jet li? How about Dick Butkus and Jack Lambert, Ronnie Lott Jack Tatum too great of a list to go on. Muhamad Ali in his Prime?
                  Thanks! I'll add those to my list the next time I update.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    wow, man... Do you work for the state?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey, where does my ex-wife (and her attorney) land on this scale?
                      "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                      Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                      Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You are lucky you are still alive. How dare you post Chuck Norris with a BAQ of 8,812.

                        His BAQ is unmeasurable. I highly doubt Zeus' tears can cure cancer; nor can his sperm turn an abandoned Datsun pickup into Optimus Prime*.

                        *Search for "Chuck Norris Facts" for further details if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

                        Until this list is updated, it is null and void.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by blueronin View Post
                          Somebody has way too much time on their hands.
                          +1 - My exact thoughts
                          "We're not in this business for the money. We're not in it for the excitement, and moments like this. Duty, honor, country, service, truth, and justice are good. But you can do that from behind a desk. In the end, you carry a gun and shield out into the field for the sole purpose of confronting the bad guys. The enemy. There is no other reason to be on the front lines." ~Nelson Demille

                          If your story involves Peanut Butter and an animal - give up now!
                          sigpic

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This should be added on to the bottom of the "It's a Guy Thing Thread" ...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by blueronin View Post
                              Somebody has way too much time on their hands.
                              He that is here not much thinks like her that is here much../.......
                              ‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’
                              Oscar Wilde

                              Comment

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