Problematic neighbors

[MIDeputy]

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[Lexis85]

One thing that irks me is irresponsible parents. It seems like you have done as much as YOU can, you've talked to the parents (IMO, idiots) and talked to the kids. You probably could do more about the underage smoking, although I would be more worried if they threw parties. That's when things start to suck. If the disruptiveness continues, unfortunately the only thing you can do is involve outside enforcement. I'm sure you know the law better than I do, isn't there a law that covers this noise? I know there are bylaws that are in effect from 11pm to 7am, but.....

And I know about problematic neighbors.....I live in a townhouse of sorts. It's one level so we have neighbors above us. Although they do follow the bylaws for the most part, they're just f*ckin stupid. It's everything: stomping across the ceiling, slamming things down in their unit, and lets not forget the sexual episodes at 2am, 4am and 6am. We've gone over 3 different times to tell them to try and be a bit quieter (except we've never mentioned the sexual episodes...) and that we can hear everything, however they continue to live their lifestyle the way they want. They've even had another unit complain about the noise at 2, 4 and 6am (you guessed it, their headboard hits the wall, and wakes up the neighbors) in a way it's funny but in a way, it's not, and it's quite disruptive. But....there's nothing that can be done. No cop is gonna come out and tell them to start having quieter sex hahaha. Ahhhh thanks for opening up a rant thread. Although the first paragraph I hope helped a little bit.

[irishdep]

You did the right thing respectfully approaching the parents. Now the balls in their court. If they want to be morons and ignore you then they can deal with the consequences. If it keeps up inform the parents that THEY are responsible for their kids and if they allow them to smoke, and who knows what else, underage that THEY will be held accountable. If you have a local cop in your area get them to make a presence and maybe make life uncomfortable for them. GOOD LUCK!

[Nightshift va]

All too familiar

I guess this is a little bit of a rant, as well as a search for some advice. About 7 months ago, my fiancee and I had a home built in a new subdivision. After we moved in, so did a family from Chicago who have two young teenage sons and a 20 year old. We haven't had any problems with this family more specifically the kids until recently.

We began noticing problems recently when the warm weather started. For about a week or two straight, I would come home from work and notice the two teenage boys and another neighbor kid smoking cigarettes on their front porch. Mind you I have a take home patrol car, so these kids obviosly know my profession. Initially I ignored them because I hadn't even met the parents yet and I didn't want to create problems in my own neighborhood. So my fiancee and I made it a point to talk to the parents about our concerns. Well, we discovered that the parents are rarely home so we were unable to meet with the parents for sometime. In the meantime, I went over one day after work and finally told the kids that I better not see them smoking again among other things.

Well, I haven't had an issue with them smoking since. But then we had an issue with them and their loud rap music where every other word is profanity. This time I went over and told them that if I can hear their music in my living room, then it's too loud. We've also had issues with them being out past curfew, skipping school and other delinquent behavior.

So we finally spoke with the parent's and addressed our concerns about their kids behavior. However, after our conversation we felt as if the parent's didn't think their kids were doing anything wrong. Mom made excuses for all of their behavior. She stated that she allows them to listen to their music as loud as they want. They also never really acknowledged the issue of their kids smoking underage. Mom also stated that since her kids grew up in Chicago, their behavior was typical for where they lived and therefore she doesn't see much of an issue. She also attempted to play the race card, and basically said her kids were being picked on because they are hispanic.

We are not racist, and it would make no difference if the kids were white, black, hispanic etc. It was at that point I told them that my concern is that this is not Chicago anymore and they now live in a upper middle-class suburban area where ghetto behavior is not typical nor acceptable. I also stated that I am not going to sit back and tolerate their kids breaking the law in front of me and essentially showing a blatant disrespect for authority, adults, etc. Furthermore, I stated that everyone in the neighborhood has the same concerns as us and that their kids are not going to run the neighborhood. We were however very tactful in our approach to the parents, though my typing probably doesn't portray it.

Basically, we spoke with the parents for about 30 minutes and after all was said and done we felt as if we just wasted our breath. So who has had a similiar issue or has any idea on how to deal with this? I would prefer not to have to take enforcement action on my own neighbors, but it feels like that may be the only option if the situation doens't improve.

Thanks

Ive had the same issues living in the County I work in now but it wasnt problems with the teenager it was the excon crackhead husband of the daughter whos mother owned the house. I let too much go til it got to the point of going over the line and per our policy I had the area unit deal with the situation and an arrest was even involved. All I can tell you is I feel for you. If you get involved or even let others do your enforcement the stress and tension will be intolerable. You will get calls on you by them and they will complain on you that you are abusing your authority. You will not feel comfortable getting your mail because you know they are looking at you with hatred and you worry about retaliation when ur at work on your family and personal property. Can you be a cop at home? Sure you can but when your off you shouldnt have to deal with that crap and not only are you dealing with it it will effect your happiness in your home and you wont be able to even relax. I was getting to the point of thinking about playing dirty which is no better than a thug criminal like my neighbor was and We couldnt live in peace so we ended up moving out to the country. If you decide to be a cop at home remember it's not just you that will receive the grief. That is one thing that truley sucks about this job and one of the advantages to not living where you work. When I worked in a city and worked in a ghetto and I was off I was truley off because I didnt live there. Advice? Your damned if you enforce because people like your neighbors are the reason we have jobs, they are irresponsible and will never change no matter how many fines they pay for loud music or other violations. If you are set on enforcing have a witness each time you write them another cop not your wife and stick to it consistently and grow a privacy hedge and put up a big fence and expect tension and hope that they either wise up or move, also document each violation even if you dont write it and tell your supervisor whats going on so when they call the paper or complain on you you have something to help you in the internal investigation they get started on you for being the poor innocent civilians being picked on by the mean cop neighbor. I feel for you brother. Thats why every cop should be given 5acres as part of their stress management job related so they can live in peace. Now that im in the country I pick and choose my battles but I let a great deal go with my neighbors because of experiences like yours.

[Smurfette_76]

Hmmm...I dont' know that I'd have said anything to some kids smoking cigarettes....seems like a waste of time to me. As for the loud music, I'd have called an on-duty officer to deal with that. This is my home and I try not to mix business and my personal life if I can help it. I also have a take home car and my neighbors are well aware of my profession. Twice now I've called my PD to have a uniformed officer handle the situation. Then again, I have a son and don't wish to place my child in a situation where he is retaliated on because of my actions.

[LeanG]

Word's to live by, "don't **** where you sleep". It's not worth taking action where you live. You've spoken to them, and that should be the extent of it. I suggest making an anonymous call to the local PD with your complaints about noise violations

[eman2k5]

The kids dont give a shat about what you tell them, they most likely smoke in the house. cuff them and stuff them. They need to learn to respect you, than the parents will learn to take you serious.

I remember something my teacher told me ( a sgt. from oakland county ) A neighbor had some problems with some kids and went over to talk to them, a few days later the kids did a B & E on him (because they didnt care what he told them )and stole alot of stuff out of his house. He didnt see the kids do it but he knew it was them. The next day he goes in there house ( kicks the door in ) and throws them out the window, basically beat the S**T out of him.He told them all of his stuff better be on his front porch within a week. After a couple of days, this neighbor calls up the dept. to cancel his stolen property report. He told them all his stuff was back on his porch. From than those kids didnt disrespect him.

[MIDeputy]

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[eman2k5]

Are you in SE MI ?

[bulldog1097]

I understand where you are coming from. I guess most of us have had some sort of problem with kids where we live. I to have a take home car. I moved my family into a nice area to keep them safe. I know some feel we should pick our battles, however, when we let the little things slide, soon we lose control of our society.

Mine was a new sub-division when I moved into my house. I set the rules hard and fast for the would be thugs. I have been able to keep things under control. I have used the gang unit, K-9, and the drug unit to put the pressure on them.

I guess I am just to set in my ways. People have moved out because of their kids. The home owners association has put pressure on the trouble makers.

Bulldog

[SVT-LINCOLN]

Just start giving out tickets for underage smoking. Maybe, even paintball them up.

[SVT-LINCOLN]

One thing that irks me is irresponsible parents. It seems like you have done as much as YOU can, you've talked to the parents (IMO, idiots) and talked to the kids. You probably could do more about the underage smoking, although I would be more worried if they threw parties. That's when things start to suck. If the disruptiveness continues, unfortunately the only thing you can do is involve outside enforcement. I'm sure you know the law better than I do, isn't there a law that covers this noise? I know there are bylaws that are in effect from 11pm to 7am, but.....

And I know about problematic neighbors.....I live in a townhouse of sorts. It's one level so we have neighbors above us. Although they do follow the bylaws for the most part, they're just f*ckin stupid. It's everything: stomping across the ceiling, slamming things down in their unit, and lets not forget the sexual episodes at 2am, 4am and 6am. We've gone over 3 different times to tell them to try and be a bit quieter (except we've never mentioned the sexual episodes...) and that we can hear everything, however they continue to live their lifestyle the way they want. They've even had another unit complain about the noise at 2, 4 and 6am (you guessed it, their headboard hits the wall, and wakes up the neighbors) in a way it's funny but in a way, it's not, and it's quite disruptive. But....there's nothing that can be done. No cop is gonna come out and tell them to start having quieter sex hahaha. Ahhhh thanks for opening up a rant thread. Although the first paragraph I hope helped a little bit.

Yep, I've been involved in a situation like that. Let me tell you, when neighbors come to you with some wd-40 and a screwdriver and say, these are for your bed so I can sleep. the noise will stop. Because you either tighten/lubricate your bed, or take it down and just put the box springs and mattress on the floor.