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  • For a laugh, cop movie cliches

    cop movie cliches

    So true!

    My Fav is #9

  • #2
    and dont forget..


    "im getting to old for this ****"
    The proper drinking of Scotch whisky is more than indulgence: it is a toast to civilization, a tribute to the continuity of culture, a manifesto of man’s determination to use the resources of nature to refresh mind and body and enjoy to the full the senses with which he has been endowed

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    • #3
      Originally posted by stangfather View Post
      and dont forget..


      "im getting to old for this ****"
      Actually,that sometimes is not a cliche but pure -hard-fact.
      Sleeping Giant. They're not fat and happy anymore. They are hungry and increasingly angry. That is not a good recipe for a "Puppies and Rainbows America".

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      • #4
        A few more he didn't list:

        Officers will always be able to find the "good kid" in the street gang and turn him around, usually getting him a job with the PD.

        Those street gangs also follow strict Federal equal opportunity guidelines for selecting their members...usually an exact mixing of blacks, latinos, an asian, a white, and two girls of any color.

        Police departments routinely administer exams to pair up detectives with partners who are their exact polar-opposites.

        Before suspending the hero, the pudgy, angry, African-American Police Chief will give him 24 hours to solve the case.

        Hero cops never draw their cars from the department motor pool...there's always a special clause which allows the hero cop to use his own personal car, maintained by his own private mechanic.

        No matter how long Los Angeles has been in a drought, the streets will always be wet at night.

        No cop ever goes into any building search with a loaded weapon. They must always lock and load before commencing the search.

        Heavily armed and well-trained SWAT teams always stand-down, when the detective in the torn shirt, bleeding from many injuries, armed only with his duty sidearm arrive at the scene and states "I can handle this!"

        In any outdoor gunfight lasting over two minutes, there is always heavy-duty construction vehicle, (earth mover, crane, etc.) available for providing cover until the hero can crush the bad guys cover, or bury it under a load of dirt and rocks.

        In any indoor warehouse gunfight lasting over two minutes, there is always a ready-to-go forklift loaded with a pallet of empty 55 gal. oil drums, which the hero will dump onto the shooters.

        In any shootout at the pier or dock, a car has to go into the water.

        Highly paid professional assassins with state of the art optics on their finely-tuned weapons, just off the range, will never be able to hit the target hero...but they can miss and hit the hero's 30-year, just filed his paper to retire partner, who just paid cash for his dream home in Wyoming, where he intends to make up for all the time lost with his loving, faithful, wife.
        "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

        Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

        Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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        • #5
          Hey Keith, I think I just saw that movie^^
          I got nothing for now

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          • #6
            Then there are the FBI agents who order the PD to stay off the case, since they are taking over.

            Detectives are directly supervised by a captain, or even chief.

            There is so much crime on the streets because all of the on-duty cops are standing around the station lobby.

            Police officers always enter the station through the front, which is up a long flight of steps as wide as the building.

            After a patrol car crash, the siren makes weird noises.

            If a motor officer becomes involved in a pursuit, he will ride over something that will launch him airborne; he will fly off the bike midway through the jump.

            The newest detective is a naive rookie who apparently never worked patrol.
            Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan

            I don't think It'll happen in the US because we don't trust our government. We are a country of skeptics, raised by skeptics, founded by skeptics. - Amaroq

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            • #7
              Hey, does anyone know where you get those extra-strength car batteries that allow light bars to keep going "360," warning people away from the crime scene...all the time while the car engines are off?
              "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

              Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

              Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

              Comment


              • #8
                Is that the same car that transports the suspect Code 3 to the station?
                Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan

                I don't think It'll happen in the US because we don't trust our government. We are a country of skeptics, raised by skeptics, founded by skeptics. - Amaroq

                Comment


                • #9
                  How about these:

                  1. The Hero's partner always gets killed the day before he is supposed to retire. Usually right after bragging about his retirement plans (ie, sail around the world, buy a ranch, etc).

                  2. The hero never has to do any paperwork, or get debriefed, after killing a team of international hitmen/terrorists.

                  3. If the Hero gets shot it's "Only a flesh wound". Sidekicks get hit bad, but always die slowly, so that they can instruct the hero to avenge thier death before passing. The lead bad guy get's hit bad too. You get fooled into thinking there dead, but they will always pop up and try to kill the hero one more time. Henchmen get hit and it's always fatal. Most die instantly without making a sound. However, if the chance arises, most will perfer to fall off of something (balcony, catwalk) when hit.

                  4. Patrolmen are always fat and lazy. They will stand around a crime scene smoking and drinking coffe untill a detective arives on scene, and tells them what to do.

                  For more exampel's watch any Simpsons episode with "McBain" in it.







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                  • #10
                    To elaborate a little on number 9.

                    The hero cop’s ex-wife will always be remarried to a wealthy, handsome (although not macho), successful man who will undoubtedly be in some boring profession like accountant, stock broker or insurance salesman. He will drive a luxury car, live in a nice house and will have created a bond with the hero cop’s children. This relationship with the kids will tick off hero cop until the end of the movie, when, of course, hero cop will save his kids from the evil kidnappers and once again be super dad to his kids.
                    Last edited by detsarg; 05-02-2007, 11:39 AM. Reason: Forgot something
                    Fear not the armed citizen but rather the government that tries to disarm him.

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                    • #11
                      We all forgot the best cliche of all!!!!!

                      Guys, guys, guys, what about the officer who always samples the narco by cutting off a bit, or sticking their finger on it to TASTE it!?!?!?!

                      Uniformed Officer standing over bindles of white powder:
                      "Sarge, check this out!"

                      Cut to, plain-clothes detective, who steps over to the table, places pinkie finger into cut open bindle then places finger tip into mouth - he reacts:
                      "Yeah, that's pure, uncut heroin....hasn't been stepped-on, yet."

                      I guess they alway cut out the next scene where the star detective begins to get violently ill, or starts acting high!
                      "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                      Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                      Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        A homicide will be investigated by just one detective. The investigation, arrest and subsequent paperwork can easily be concluded in the course of a shift.
                        I'm a little bit waayy, a little bit wooah, a little bit woosh, I'm a geezer.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                          Guys, guys, guys, what about the officer who always samples the narco by cutting off a bit, or sticking their finger on it to TASTE it!?!?!?!

                          Uniformed Officer standing over bindles of white powder:
                          "Sarge, check this out!"

                          Cut to, plain-clothes detective, who steps over to the table, places pinkie finger into cut open bindle then places finger tip into mouth - he reacts:
                          "Yeah, that's pure, uncut heroin....hasn't been stepped-on, yet."

                          I guess they alway cut out the next scene where the star detective begins to get violently ill, or starts acting high!
                          I think my partner did that the other day!!!!!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Cockney Corner. View Post
                            A homicide will be investigated by just one detective. The investigation, arrest and subsequent paperwork can easily be concluded in the course of a shift.
                            Even though the Crime Scene is crawling with 20 or 30 people. One guy will solve a tripple homocide in 15 minutes by himself, maybe he will have a partner who doesn't want to do anything but play golf that he'll have to drag along and convince.

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                            • #15
                              Lets not forget that he will be such a good interviewer that he will be able to get the bad guy to confess even though the defense attorney is right there in the interview room.
                              Fear not the armed citizen but rather the government that tries to disarm him.

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