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Things That Make You Go “What The...

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  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by NOLA2005 View Post
    Sooo, did you have to acid wash your hood?:

    Since I was 5 years old I always wanted to drive a “Black and White” never pictured myself driving a “Brown and White”.

    No acid wash, I made a grave mistake by driving through a fully automated, a self-service touchless car wash, don’t ask….





    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    Good grief! Not only do you need an umbrella to stop crow poop deposits while getting the mail, but one for your car to stop homeless poop deposits too. WTF!?

    Sooo, did you have to acid wash your hood?

  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by NOLA2005 View Post
    Well the grasshoppers are gone. In their place are a large number of fat black birds that can hardly fly with their overstuffed bellies. There is white bird crap all over the place with little grasshopper legs sticking out.
    My neighborhood has a large number of crows, reminiscent of a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 film “The Birds”.
    “CC” or crow crap is a way of life on my street. One needs an umbrella just to walk to your curbside mailbox or car parked in your driveway.

    As you know birds, unlike mammals, don’t produce urine. Instead, they excrete nitrogenous wastes in the form of uric acid, which emerges as a white paste. Uric acid doesn’t dissolve in water easily, so it sticks to your car, hat or police uniform (a long story that can only shared offline) like blobs of white plaster.

    I read birds do have a color preference when it comes to targeting their dropping, red cars are the most likely target of bird poop, followed by blue and black. With this in mind I recently bought an white pearl SUV.

    Last week I took my grandchildren for an end of summer dinner at a popular bay area Mexican restaurant. The Bay area is notorious for auto theft and car clouts. Seated near a window and watching my SUV during dinner I observed a middle aged homeless woman dressed in a raggedy housecoat sluggishly pushing a shopping cart overflowing with her possessions / recyclable bottles and aluminum cans.

    She stopped alongside my SUV peering into windows and trying door handles. Fearing a car clout was imminent I briefly I activated my alarm, she Immediately backed away from my vehicle, looked towards the restaurant…. raised her housecoat exposing a naked bottom, squatted and took a dump. Reaching into her cart for a paper handbill, scooped up her crap and plunged it onto my white pearl hood. Glaring toward the restaurant window she flipped the bird and slowly left with her shopping cart.

    Among California's homeless corn is an especially common culprit for undigested food in stool.

    And that’s my WTF for this week.






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    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    I'm pretty sure that's not how it's done. But it's a good way to get a crease in ones forehead.
    Last edited by NOLA2005; 08-18-2019, 01:38 AM. Reason: Who knows anymore....

  • NOLA2005
    replied
    Well the grasshoppers are gone. In their place are a large number of fat black birds that can hardly fly with their overstuffed bellies. There is white bird crap all over the place with little grasshopper legs sticking out.
    Last edited by NOLA2005; 08-18-2019, 01:26 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Aidokea
    replied
    People that drive with their fog lights on when it's not foggy (especially in broad daylight) make me go "WTF?".

    The visibility is completely clear- is their vision foggy?

    Leave a comment:


  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

    How do you Fricassee?
    .




    My best guess........

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    You should do more Photoshop, you really are the king of Photoshop.

  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    By the look of those meaty fellows, a lot!
    Last edited by NOLA2005; 08-04-2019, 09:27 PM. Reason: Fricking grasshoppers again!

  • not.in.MY.town
    commented on 's reply
    NOLA2005 Yes, it was heart-wrenching. When I made the notification she asked me to take her to the body so she could hold Benji one more time and say goodbye. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there was nothing left to hold. All I could do was bring her his nametag (after cleaning it) and tell her to remember him healthy and happy. This is one of those calls that's stuck with me for a long time...and of course there's the comedic relief provided by the other officer.

  • not.in.MY.town
    commented on 's reply
    What The Fricassee?!

  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by NOLA2005 View Post
    Anyone have a good recipe for grasshopper fricassee? WTF!!??



    How many do you plan to feed?

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    Yes, a bad cricket vs a wholesome cricket. One that, with a little bbq sauce, was delicious.
    Last edited by NOLA2005; 08-04-2019, 01:27 AM.

  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    Oh that poor lady, losing her fur baby like that.

  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    Red bandana, gang affiliation?

    This reminds me of an incident a few years back...and the commentary by a fellow officer that made me go WTF?!

    We were assisting an elderly lady in locating her dog that had gotten out of the yard. She said his name was Benji and she described him as a small brown and white terrier mix wearing a blue bandana. We were driving around the neighborhood for a while with no sign of Benji. When I got to the highway I noticed SOMETHING in the road. Whatever it was, it obviously had been run over by multiple vehicles and was completely flattened. I was thinking/hoping "that CAN'T be the dog." There was fur, but I couldn't tell what kind of animal it was -- and then I noticed the bandana. It was no longer blue, but soaked in blood. When the other officer arrived he took a look at the mess and commented: "Benji lived as a Crip and died as a Blood".

    Leave a comment:

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