Things That Make You Go “What The...

[BTDT2]

Our hospital has a sling for pts when they stand/walk. When lying in the bed, we fold towels for the testicles to rest on. The towels had to be folded just right, so that the testicles weren't too high and weren't too low.

Is this towel folded right?

[not.in.MY.town]

WTF is that supposed to be?

[BTDT2]

It’s a Bay area ***** *** ***** towel fold. Incidentally where is PR723, our Origami towel Master?

[BTDT2]

As a young rookie I caught a truck driver having sex with a Ewe, not sure if was a WTF or a BaaTF moment.

My lieutenant explained in some regions sheep sex considered a rite of passage.

Hey not.in.MY.town you’re an LT, will you enlighten members re- Ovis aries and rites of passage?

[not.in.MY.town]

Sex with an ewe? Eew!!

I'm happy to report that this is not a Jersey thing.

[Iowa #1603]

As a young rookie I caught a truck driver having sex with a Ewe, not sure if was a WTF or a BaaTF moment.

My lieutenant explained in some regions sheep sex considered a rite of passage.

Hey not.in.MY.town you’re an LT, will you enlighten members re- Ovis aries and rites of passage?

Had the farmer's son and the cow...........................

[not.in.MY.town]

Oh, we've moved on to animal stories? Those usually aren't just WTF, but rather WDYF ("what did you f...?") moments. I've got one of those. I think I mentioned it before in a hiring thread...

We had an applicant who seemed to be nailing (no pun intended) everything in the hiring process...until the BI uncovered a cellphone video of the applicant attempting to have sex with his family's pet turtle. When confronted, the first thing out of his mouth was: "I was so drunk I couldn't even get it up". .Like somehow that makes it all okay?

For the animal lovers who want to know if the turtle was okay: Thankfully, it appeared to be sleeping through the entire ordeal...but since he was humping the head opening of the shell, there's a good chance it suffered a concussion. If it did wake up, it probably is traumatized for life by the sight of some limp, pink, shell less "turtle".

[PR723]

Like. Like.Like.Like.Like.Like.Like. Like.Like.Like.

[not.in.MY.town]

PR723 -- Glad you enjoyed the story. It's been a source of amusement in our department for years. In fact, every time I brief my chief on a new batch of applicants...his first question is: "Any turtle f*ckers?"

[PR723]

I hope you realize I haven't got to any of the gross stuff yet

How odd you should mention that. I was thinking about your post driving home from work and hoping you had more stories to share. I figured you were starting out with the light stuff . That's cool. I have plenty of ginger tea and just because my stomach might turn a little, doesn't mean I don't find it hilarious.

Nola, thanks for the advice.

[PR723]

Another regular (male) had a habit of pulling the staples out of magazines and inserting them into the veins in his arms and legs, and inserting pencils into his urethra, to the point that scar tissue built up and he eventually needed a catheter to pee. He also like to swallow the little tubes of toothpaste the church people liked to give out.

Church person: Do you have Christ in your life?
Prisoner: No
Church person: Would you like to feel the Holy Spirit in you?
Prisoner: Not really, but I sure could use a few more tubes of toothpaste.

I probably am going to burn in hell for that........

[not.in.MY.town]

You'll be in "good" company.

[PR723]

Is this towel folded right?

You know, BTDT2, you guys on the west coast usually set the trends which then takes a while to make it to the southeast. Once again, you have taught me something new. Other healthcare workers will marvel at my Origami testicle cradle...Or " teticles" as one of my pts said this morning.

[PR723]

It occurred to me driving to work this morning that anybody who has time to shove miscellaneous items up their rear end obviously has too much time on their hands.......and several psychological disorders.

[BTDT2]

This works for me

[not.in.MY.town]

Brilliant! That might actually work for that guy on the bus.

[BTDT2]

I can't possibly fold enough towels for that

Here ya go.....

[PR723]

Here ya go.....

Well, I better get to folding There are a lot of testicularly challenged men out there.

[PR723]

Oh, we've moved on to animal stories? Those usually aren't just WTF, but rather WDYF ("what did you f...?") moments. I've got one of those. I think I mentioned it before in a hiring thread...

We had an applicant who seemed to be nailing (no pun intended) everything in the hiring process...until the BI uncovered a cellphone video of the applicant attempting to have sex with his family's pet turtle. When confronted, the first thing out of his mouth was: "I was so drunk I couldn't even get it up". .Like somehow that makes it all okay?

For the animal lovers who want to know if the turtle was okay: Thankfully, it appeared to be sleeping through the entire ordeal...but since he was humping the head opening of the shell, there's a good chance it suffered a concussion. If it did wake up, it probably is traumatized for life by the sight of some limp, pink, shell less "turtle".

Okay. This isn't an animal story, but it does carry on the turtle theme....

Years ago we had a young, brilliant physician who was the director of our unit. We also had a " veteran" nurse who was quite blunt. She would refer to this physician as" little boy" because of his age.Little boy would occasionally write an order for nursing to place a condom catheter on a pt. One day in team conference, he mentioned to this nurse that he wanted her to place a condom catheter on Mr.______. The nurse quite loudly asked how did he expect her to put a condom catheter on Mr.____ when all he had was a turtle head between his legs.

This nurse had a lot of life experience under her belt, as well as , many years of experience as a nurse. I learned a lot from her when I was young(er). What she taught me, you couldn't learn by reading a book or in lab.

[PR723]

One last " Little Boy" story for the evening. As I said, he was brilliant, but struggled with basic social skills. Bless his heart, he really tried hard to understand and react appropriately to emotions. He would often tell the pts," I'm wishing you a good day." When he walked away, the pt would turn to me and as," What does he mean by that?"

This is Dr. D's version of a WTF moment.....I was working with an older female pt, when Dr. D walked up. She told him that she had a note for him and she reached inside her bra and pulled out a piece of paper. She held it up for him to take, but he stood there frozen with the look of horror on his face. After a few seconds, I stepped forward and took the warm piece of paper( body heat you know) and held the note up, so Dr. D could lean in and read it. He acknowledged what was written on the note and quickly walked away. The lady just looked at me and laughed.

NOLA, I bet you have a few WTF moments with physicians.

[BTDT2]

Okay. This isn't an animal story, but it does carry on the turtle theme....

Years ago we had a young, brilliant physician who was the director of our unit. We also had a " veteran" nurse who was quite blunt. She would refer to this physician as" little boy" because of his age.Little boy would occasionally write an order for nursing to place a condom catheter on a pt. One day in team conference, he mentioned to this nurse that he wanted her to place a condom catheter on Mr.______. The nurse quite loudly asked how did he expect her to put a condom catheter on Mr.____ when all he had was a turtle head between his legs.

This nurse had a lot of life experience under her belt, as well as , many years of experience as a nurse. I learned a lot from her when I was young(er). What she taught me, you couldn't learn by reading a book or in lab.

WTF!!!!!!!(keeping in topic)
PR723, I've seen some weird crap working Bay Area LE. However nothing as perverse, abnormal, deviant, unconventional, unnatural, degenerate, perverted as a turtle head between ones legs.

[PR723]

BTDT2, perhaps that's an affliction only found in the south.

It occurred to me that it's ironic that some gentlemen who have shortcomings are labeled with this name when turtles are actually quite well endowed.

I found a video you might enjoy. Start watching at 53 seconds.......

MY.town, NOLA and others....for your enjoyment, as well.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqW5upASa-8