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Things That Make You Go “What The...

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  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    I had a completely G-rated WTF moment today: I saw a dude trying to mow his paved driveway. Just slowly pushing a gas-powered lawnmower up and down his driveway, cutting imaginary grass. I was tempted to ask him if he'd like to come to my house and mow an actual lawn...

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  • PR723
    replied
    NOLA,
    Just wanted to encourage you to rejoin the conversation when you have some free time. Your valuable expertise is missed.

    Leave a comment:


  • PR723
    replied
    Another WTF moment.......

    Several years ago I had a pt who had a joint replaced. One day he tells me he needs to urinate. Then he tells me that his penis has shrunk 6" since his surgery and he will need me to assist him with finding it.Now, this pt was originally from New York and despite the fact that he had lived in the south for several years, he still had a pretty thick northern accent. (As everyone knows, southerners don't have an accent and that's why it can be so difficult for us to understand anybody who does have one.) I paused for a moment and then I asked," So, what you're telling me is that you've had an adverse reaction to your surgery?" " Yes", the pt replies. " Have you told your surgeon?", I asked. " No", he replied. I said, ' This is serious. Let me give you some compensatory strategies and you tell me which one you prefer. I can bring in a mirror and you can visually locate your penis or I can tie one end of a string to one of your fingers and the other end to your penis. Almost as if it was a miracle from heaven, the man could find his penis.

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  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

    Yes, you better start folding. You have until midnight. Use your imagination for what will happen if your assignment is late...
    I got this....I can fold Origami testicular cradles in my sleep.

    Perhaps I should have kept that piece of information to myself.
    Last edited by PR723; 06-21-2018, 06:07 PM.

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  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post


    PR723, will a two headed turtle between one's legs make the grade for a double WTF?
    Absolutely! Chances are his eyes are also crossed.

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  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

    As is obvious from this thread...there are much worse places she could have pulled that note from.
    I agree. What's the big deal about a little breast sweat?

    ..........Ginger tea anyone?
    Last edited by PR723; 06-21-2018, 05:31 PM.

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  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    A patient passing kites, you’re employed at a Correctional Facility, right?
    "Yo, swallow this note. Then poop it out in your cell. Read it, then pass it on to Shorty. Then Shorty to Big Neck. You know the drill."

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  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

    As is obvious from this thread...there are much worse places she could have pulled that note from.
    A patient passing kites, PR723 you’re employed at a Correctional Facility, right?
    Last edited by BTDT2; 06-21-2018, 02:03 PM.

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  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    ^^^ Our turtle f*cker applicant would be all over that.

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  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by PR723 View Post

    Okay. This isn't an animal story, but it does carry on the turtle theme....

    Years ago we had a young, brilliant physician who was the director of our unit. We also had a " veteran" nurse who was quite blunt. She would refer to this physician as" little boy" because of his age.Little boy would occasionally write an order for nursing to place a condom catheter on a pt. One day in team conference, he mentioned to this nurse that he wanted her to place a condom catheter on Mr.______. The nurse quite loudly asked how did he expect her to put a condom catheter on Mr.____ when all he had was a turtle head between his legs.

    This nurse had a lot of life experience under her belt, as well as , many years of experience as a nurse. I learned a lot from her when I was young(er). What she taught me, you couldn't learn by reading a book or in lab.
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post


    Image result for turtle head mask
    WTF!!!!!!!(keeping in topic)
    PR723, I've seen some weird crap working Bay Area LE. However nothing as perverse, abnormal, deviant, unconventional, unnatural, degenerate, perverted as a turtle head between ones legs.


    Image result for two headed turtle


    PR723, will a two headed turtle between one's legs make the grade for a double WTF?

    Leave a comment:

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