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  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    PR723, serious WTF question….. re condom catheters: I recently had a disappointing experience with a young LVN. I requested a condom catheter, as it was being applied I complained the sheath holder was too tight asking her to remove and re-apply it.

    I repeatedly complained the sheath was too loose or too tight asking her to remove and re-apply…these adjustments went on for several minutes…"slip it off slip on, slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off" before she rudely called me a pervert and tossed me a urinal… comment please…
    First:Your parts still work....good for you.
    Second:You do know they talk about you at the nurses station and at shift change , they first ask for volunteers and if there are none, then they draw straws as to who takes you. I'm lying...except for the part where they talk about you. They definitely do that.
    Third: I have a question..Did the LVN sling shot the condom at your face before or after she threw( I mean tossed) the urinal at you? I think it has more of an impact if you sling shot the condom prior to throwing( I mean tossing) the urinal. Just my personal opinion.
    Fourth: Had you gotten an older LVN....well, just be grateful you didn't. The older LVNs can be so rough( and not in a good way) and it might have scared your little friend.

    I hope that helped.

    Oh, one last thing. A few years ago, I had a pt who decided to greet me unclothed with his right leg propped up on a chair. A male physician popped in behind me, took one look at the pt and ripped him a new one. So, a word of caution, make sure there aren't any physicians rounding during any future escapades.

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    In another thread I mentioned a WTF moment seeing a male sergeant with nipple bars. If a California sergeant can have nipple bars, why can’t a NJ LT have nipple piercings? Left side for his badge and right side for his LT bar…..

    Yessss, that is the perfect solution! And combined with time spent on Gunnison beach, no annoying tan lines to distract from all the brass hanging from his nipples!

    Leave a comment:


  • PR723
    commented on 's reply
    So many choices, but which answer won't get this thread nuked?

  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by NOLA2005 View Post

    And if he had worn his badge, just what did he pin it to?
    In another thread I mentioned a WTF moment seeing a male sergeant with nipple bars. If a California sergeant can have nipple bars, why can’t a NJ LT have nipple piercings? Left side for his badge and right side for his LT bar…..


    Leave a comment:


  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by PR723 View Post

    Okay. This isn't an animal story, but it does carry on the turtle theme....

    Years ago we had a young, brilliant physician who was the director of our unit. We also had a " veteran" nurse who was quite blunt. She would refer to this physician as" little boy" because of his age.Little boy would occasionally write an order for nursing to place a condom catheter on a pt. One day in team conference, he mentioned to this nurse that he wanted her to place a condom catheter on Mr.______. The nurse quite loudly asked how did he expect her to put a condom catheter on Mr.____ when all he had was a turtle head between his legs.

    This nurse had a lot of life experience under her belt, as well as , many years of experience as a nurse. I learned a lot from her when I was young(er). What she taught me, you couldn't learn by reading a book or in lab.
    PR723, serious WTF question….. re condom catheters: I recently had a disappointing experience with a young LVN. I requested a condom catheter, as it was being applied I complained the sheath holder was too tight asking her to remove and re-apply it.

    I repeatedly complained the sheath was too loose or too tight asking her to remove and re-apply…these adjustments went on for several minutes…"slip it off slip on, slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off" before she rudely called me a pervert and tossed a urinal at me… comment please…
    Last edited by BTDT2; 06-27-2018, 06:43 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    replied
    Originally posted by PR723 View Post

    MY.town, I'm afraid that there are likely several " southern things" that may stay in the south...which is a good thing.

    MY.town, I'm curious. If you had worn your duty belt with your birthday suit, would that qualify as being in uniform?
    And if he had worn his badge, just what did he pin it to?

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    Nola, unquestionably a WTF moment.

    A few years ago searching for sand dollars for a project, I stopped by 3 west coast beaches, one was Pirate's Cove Beach, regrettably I saw a colleague playing nude volleyball. When you see something so disturbing you want to forget the sight of it, but you can't and your brain is permanently scarred. That gotta qualify as WTF moment.
    Yeah, nothing like bouncing balls, especially those covered in long fur like hair, to make your vision go dim.

    Leave a comment:


  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

    I'm sorry the sponge baths were a disappointment. In PR723 's defense though...the testicle towel may just be a Southern hospitality thing that hasn't made its way up North yet. How were the ginger tea enemas?

    And for the record...you only beat me in the nude tricycle race because I had to walk after my Chief told me I couldn't borrow our department's Segway trike. Some nonsense about how per agency policy it can only be used while in uniform.
    MY.town, I'm afraid that there are likely several " southern things" that may stay in the south...which is a good thing.

    MY.town, I'm curious. If you had worn your duty belt with your birthday suit, would that qualify as being in uniform?

    Leave a comment:


  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by NOLA2005 View Post
    I once had a patient that was a dead ringer for Santa Claus...if Santa had gastric bypass surgery.

    I had him change into a gown and lay on my X-ray table. I turn around for a moment and turn back to see the gown pulled up so Santa’s “twig and berries” are fully exposed. I flick the gown back down, make the exposure, go back to the table and once again see what I don’t want to see, good grief!

    Flick that gown down again, make the exposure, and yes, there they are again. Now I’m done with the exam and I get Santa off the table while resisting the urge to say “You must have been VERY cold”.

    I mean WTF!? Reminded me of that episode on Star Trek “trouble with tribbles” except they were snow white.
    Nola, unquestionably a WTF moment.

    A few years ago searching for sand dollars for a project, I stopped by 3 west coast beaches, one was Pirate's Cove Beach, regrettably I saw a colleague playing nude volleyball. When you see something so disturbing you want to forget the sight of it, but you can't and your brain is permanently scarred. That gotta qualify as WTF moment.

    Leave a comment:


  • PR723
    commented on 's reply
    BTDT2, I'll hook you up with hot moist testicular towels.

    Ahhhh... It's nice to be back among my peeps again

  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post

    During the race not.in.My.town was seen sporting a rather large fanny pack. Many of us thought he wasn’t aware there is no crime in a sanctuary city in a sanctuary state and was packing a size matters ODG. Turned out to be a sizable stash of KY and Ginger Root Extract body cream..
    I admit I was sporting a rather impressive package. I will neither confirm nor deny the rest of the allegations....

    And don't judge me for showing up prepared. Everyone knows Bay Area prices are ridiculous...

    Leave a comment:


  • PR723
    replied
    Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post
    Welcome back, brother! You've got some 'splainin to do...

    PR723 , the vaseline may have helped ease the discomfort...but I bet it was the ginger tea IV drip that got him back on his feet.
    Ginger tea cures whatever ails you.

    And we're off again..........

    Leave a comment:


  • BTDT2
    replied
    Originally posted by PR723 View Post
    BTDT2, so glad to see you're back. You were missed. I hope all is well.

    Congratulations to coming in first. Did MY.town supply you with plenty of Vaseline for the chaffing?
    During the race not.in.My.town was seen sporting a rather large fanny pack. Many of us thought he wasn’t aware there is no crime in a sanctuary city in a sanctuary state and was packing a size matters ODG. Turned out to be a sizable stash of KY and Ginger Root Extract body cream..

    Leave a comment:


  • not.in.MY.town
    replied
    Originally posted by BTDT2 View Post



    I spent the last week on special assignment at a local hospital attempting to corroborate Nola and PR723’s hospital post.

    I was able to validate Nola’s post, if you grimaced at not.in.MY.town’s ginger root story, you’ll cringe at an x-ray tech with a probe.

    On the other hand I was not able to validate PR723’s post re testicular towels… During three sponge baths I requested a hot moist testicle towel and received the following responses.. I was curtly called a pervert, told it was a hospital not a brothel or happy ending strip mall massage parlor and “Hey are you the NJ LT who placed second in the senior nude tricycle races last week” I'm back
    I'm sorry the sponge baths were a disappointment. In PR723 's defense though...the testicle towel may just be a Southern hospitality thing that hasn't made its way up North yet. How were the ginger tea enemas?

    And for the record...you only beat me in the nude tricycle race because I had to walk after my Chief told me I couldn't borrow our department's Segway trike. Some nonsense about how per agency policy it can only be used while in uniform.
    Last edited by not.in.MY.town; 06-27-2018, 03:45 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • NOLA2005
    commented on 's reply
    OMG man, LMAO!!! Welcome back Sani.
    Last edited by NOLA2005; 06-27-2018, 03:44 PM.

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