Things That Make You Go “What The...

[BTDT2]

I once had a patient that was a dead ringer for Santa Claus...if Santa had gastric bypass surgery.

I had him change into a gown and lay on my X-ray table. I turn around for a moment and turn back to see the gown pulled up so Santa’s “twig and berries” are fully exposed. I flick the gown back down, make the exposure, go back to the table and once again see what I don’t want to see, good grief!

Flick that gown down again, make the exposure, and yes, there they are again. Now I’m done with the exam and I get Santa off the table while resisting the urge to say “You must have been VERY cold”.

I mean WTF!? Reminded me of that episode on Star Trek “trouble with tribbles” except they were snow white.

Nola, unquestionably a WTF moment.

A few years ago searching for sand dollars for a project, I stopped by 3 west coast beaches, one was Pirate's Cove Beach, regrettably I saw a colleague playing nude volleyball. When you see something so disturbing you want to forget the sight of it, but you can't and your brain is permanently scarred. That gotta qualify as WTF moment.

[PR723]

I'm sorry the sponge baths were a disappointment. In PR723 's defense though...the testicle towel may just be a Southern hospitality thing that hasn't made its way up North yet. How were the ginger tea enemas?

And for the record...you only beat me in the nude tricycle race because I had to walk after my Chief told me I couldn't borrow our department's Segway trike. Some nonsense about how per agency policy it can only be used while in uniform.

MY.town, I'm afraid that there are likely several " southern things" that may stay in the south...which is a good thing.

MY.town, I'm curious. If you had worn your duty belt with your birthday suit, would that qualify as being in uniform?

[NOLA2005]

Nola, unquestionably a WTF moment.

A few years ago searching for sand dollars for a project, I stopped by 3 west coast beaches, one was Pirate's Cove Beach, regrettably I saw a colleague playing nude volleyball. When you see something so disturbing you want to forget the sight of it, but you can't and your brain is permanently scarred. That gotta qualify as WTF moment.

Yeah, nothing like bouncing balls, especially those covered in long fur like hair, to make your vision go dim.

[NOLA2005]

MY.town, I'm afraid that there are likely several " southern things" that may stay in the south...which is a good thing.

MY.town, I'm curious. If you had worn your duty belt with your birthday suit, would that qualify as being in uniform?

And if he had worn his badge, just what did he pin it to?

[PR723]

So many choices, but which answer won't get this thread nuked?

[BTDT2]

Okay. This isn't an animal story, but it does carry on the turtle theme....

Years ago we had a young, brilliant physician who was the director of our unit. We also had a " veteran" nurse who was quite blunt. She would refer to this physician as" little boy" because of his age.Little boy would occasionally write an order for nursing to place a condom catheter on a pt. One day in team conference, he mentioned to this nurse that he wanted her to place a condom catheter on Mr.______. The nurse quite loudly asked how did he expect her to put a condom catheter on Mr.____ when all he had was a turtle head between his legs.

This nurse had a lot of life experience under her belt, as well as , many years of experience as a nurse. I learned a lot from her when I was young(er). What she taught me, you couldn't learn by reading a book or in lab.

PR723, serious WTF question….. re condom catheters: I recently had a disappointing experience with a young LVN. I requested a condom catheter, as it was being applied I complained the sheath holder was too tight asking her to remove and re-apply it.

I repeatedly complained the sheath was too loose or too tight asking her to remove and re-apply…these adjustments went on for several minutes…"slip it off slip on, slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off" before she rudely called me a pervert and tossed a urinal at me… comment please…

[NOLA2005]

Goodness man, you are such a bad, bad boy (gets smacked with rolled up newspaper).

[BTDT2]

And if he had worn his badge, just what did he pin it to?

In another thread I mentioned a WTF moment seeing a male sergeant with nipple bars. If a California sergeant can have nipple bars, why can’t a NJ LT have nipple piercings? Left side for his badge and right side for his LT bar…..

[NOLA2005]

In another thread I mentioned a WTF moment seeing a male sergeant with nipple bars. If a California sergeant can have nipple bars, why can’t a NJ LT have nipple piercings? Left side for his badge and right side for his LT bar…..

Yessss, that is the perfect solution! And combined with time spent on Gunnison beach, no annoying tan lines to distract from all the brass hanging from his nipples!

[BTDT2]

Another volleyball player?

[PR723]

PR723, serious WTF question….. re condom catheters: I recently had a disappointing experience with a young LVN. I requested a condom catheter, as it was being applied I complained the sheath holder was too tight asking her to remove and re-apply it.

I repeatedly complained the sheath was too loose or too tight asking her to remove and re-apply…these adjustments went on for several minutes…"slip it off slip on, slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off, slip it on slip it off" before she rudely called me a pervert and tossed me a urinal… comment please…

First:Your parts still work....good for you.
Second:You do know they talk about you at the nurses station and at shift change , they first ask for volunteers and if there are none, then they draw straws as to who takes you. I'm lying...except for the part where they talk about you. They definitely do that.
Third: I have a question..Did the LVN sling shot the condom at your face before or after she threw( I mean tossed) the urinal at you? I think it has more of an impact if you sling shot the condom prior to throwing( I mean tossing) the urinal. Just my personal opinion.
Fourth: Had you gotten an older LVN....well, just be grateful you didn't. The older LVNs can be so rough( and not in a good way) and it might have scared your little friend.

I hope that helped.

Oh, one last thing. A few years ago, I had a pt who decided to greet me unclothed with his right leg propped up on a chair. A male physician popped in behind me, took one look at the pt and ripped him a new one. So, a word of caution, make sure there aren't any physicians rounding during any future escapades.

[BTDT2]

Tossed one of these...

[not.in.MY.town]

MY.town, I'm curious. If you had worn your duty belt with your birthday suit, would that qualify as being in uniform?

I'll have to take this up with my Chief the next time I want to participate in a race. He kinda has a ginger root up his rear though, so it's probably a 'no'. (And if he ever reads this comment I'll wind up with his foot up my rear... )

And if he had worn his badge, just what did he pin it to?

In another thread I mentioned a WTF moment seeing a male sergeant with nipple bars. If a California sergeant can have nipple bars, why can’t a NJ LT have nipple piercings? Left side for his badge and right side for his LT bar…..

I never leave the house without a gun and a pair of cuffs:

[not.in.MY.town]

I once had a patient that was a dead ringer for Santa Claus...if Santa had gastric bypass surgery.

I had him change into a gown and lay on my X-ray table. I turn around for a moment and turn back to see the gown pulled up so Santa’s “twig and berries” are fully exposed. I flick the gown back down, make the exposure, go back to the table and once again see what I don’t want to see, good grief!

Flick that gown down again, make the exposure, and yes, there they are again. Now I’m done with the exam and I get Santa off the table while resisting the urge to say “You must have been VERY cold”.

I mean WTF!? Reminded me of that episode on Star Trek “trouble with tribbles” except they were snow white.

If this Santa offers you a candy cane I suggest you decline...

[NOLA2005]

Yeah, no brown candy for me.

[not.in.MY.town]

Tossed one of these...

Speaking of urinals (and keeping in topic)...WTF happened here to necessitate this sign??

[Pogue Mahone]

Are nipple bars anything like maple bars?

[Pogue Mahone]

Do we need to start a GoFundMe campaign to get you internet service?

It's not a matter of money for me to get internet access. It's a matter of getting a cell repeater put up to get a signal in between the granite walls (which should tell sani where I'm at). Putting up cell towers ain't an easy sell, especially where I'm at.

Nola, you're such a sweetheart!

[NOLA2005]

I'll have to take this up with my Chief the next time I want to participate in a race. He kinda has a ginger root up his rear though, so it's probably a 'no'. (And if he ever reads this comment I'll wind up with his foot up my rear... )






I never leave the house without a gun and a pair of cuffs:

I like that gun/handcuff combo, I think I'll get that..........on a charm bracelet.