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Politics - Perhaps Its Time To Come Home

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  • Politics - Perhaps Its Time To Come Home

    Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States

    By Andy BorowitzOctober 29, 2016
    PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY REX FEATURES VIA AP IMAGES

    LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.

    Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”

    “This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.

    The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”

    Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”

    Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”


    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borow...-united-states




    Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere

  • #2
    Sorry...I'm not giving up my cold beer.
    This Space For Rent

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Pogue Mahone View Post
      Sorry...I'm not giving up my cold beer.
      Decisions, decisions------okay, I thought it over and the answer is No Thanks, Yer Majesty.

      “Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie.”

      Miyamoto Musashi

      “Life Is Hard, But It's Harder When You're Stupid”

      George V. Higgins (from The Friends of Eddie Coyle)

      Comment


      • #4
        Yeah, Mel Gibson fought pretty hard and went through a lot to keep us from being a part of them, I would hate it to be all for nothing. SMH. No thanks Queen Lizzy!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by deaconsteve View Post
          yeah, mel gibson fought pretty hard and went through a lot to keep us from being a part of them, i would hate it to be all for nothing. Smh. No thanks queen lizzy!
          :-) lol
          Former Police Officer (Injured LOD)
          USAF VETERAN 2004-2012
          "The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day."-LTC Grossman
          Emergency Services Dispatcher, APG MD

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          • #6
            Don't they still owe us for saving them in both WWI and WWII?
            semper destravit

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Pogue Mahone View Post
              Sorry...I'm not giving up my cold beer.
              Or my firearms.

              Although I love their fish & chips.

              Sorry your Majesty, but I'm afraid we have our own Queen on the way.
              Train for tomorrow, for you never know what it will bring to the fight.
              In the school of Policing, there is no graduation day.

              Arguing on the internet, is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
              Do Not Disturb sign should read, Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution.
              Even if the voices aren't real, They have some really good ideas.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by bpd303 View Post

                Or my firearms.

                Although I love their fish & chips.

                Sorry your Majesty, but I'm afraid we have our own Queen on the way.
                .....or not . ... ; )

                Comment


                • #9
                  We've had several Queens in all of our levels of government... still doesn't work.
                  Now go home and get your shine box!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Looks like someone owes Emma a steak dinner. Too bad she can't collect here.
                    Train for tomorrow, for you never know what it will bring to the fight.
                    In the school of Policing, there is no graduation day.

                    Arguing on the internet, is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
                    Do Not Disturb sign should read, Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution.
                    Even if the voices aren't real, They have some really good ideas.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A CCCSD always pays his debts.
                      Now go home and get your shine box!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The bill that all of our allies owe us will never be repaid. I like Guiness Stout but, not that much. The queen can shove it up her royal.......oh never mind
                        Stupid has no color or race, everyone can participate.

                        Comment

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