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Real 9-1-1 Calls


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  • Real 9-1-1 Calls

    Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!!

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
    Caller: Fire, I guess.
    Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
    Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
    Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
    Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
    Dispatcher: Help you what?
    Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
    Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No.
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police.
    Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
    Common sense... the LEAST COMMON of all of the senses.
    Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

  • #2
    LOL-those are good...

    I read a message once about a guy calling in to a local agency about invisible cockroaches...

    The CO, bless her in her skills, told him she would send out an invisible exterminator...no more calls that night from that particular complainant....


    • #3
      These are priceless.

      I like the one about 9-11, that one must have been a stupid lady that shouldn't been able to reproduce.


      • #4
        I have an entire page on my website for these idiots. "Calling 911"
        Cogito ergo summopere periculosus.


        • #5
          Damn those are good for a laugh. I love the Soccer numbnuts mom at the drivethrough one. That always gets me laughing then really really really MAD cause I'd be the one to get that 9-1-1 call from dispatch. I cant 'sugar coat' peoples idiocy anymore and I need to be nice. * Eman breathing deep and doing the Beuaford T. Justice breathing OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHMmmmmm
          Whew, fell better now...
          YEs maam, I will arrest the manager AND the cook for making your little hamburger wrong. Get THe [email protected]#K away from me lady and make it yourself
          I got nothing for now


          • #6
            those are pretty good!.......i have to laugh when you pick up the phone and ask "is this an emergency" and your caller screams "yes" so you get ready to take the info down and they proceed to ask you the dumbest questions......."ive been sitting in traffic forever can you tell me when i will move" or "how far is it from ....to...". some peoples definition of emergency must be totally different from mine...but of course you cannot explain that to these people


            • #7
              bahahahahahahaah AWSOME post


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