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Amazing home remedies.

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  • Amazing home remedies.

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a
    cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. If you are clumsy: avoid cutting yourself while slicing
    vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
    by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
    bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins . . .
    remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
    you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives . . .
    you'll think twice before coughing.



    Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    And:

    Everyone seems normal until you get to really know them.

    Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another
    chance.

    And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never
    know when you might need them to empty your bedpan
    If you ever have sprained ankle, give me a call.

  • #2
    Holy sheep**** Dave you are one wild and crazy guy Just where do you get these?
    I got nothing for now

    Comment


    • #3
      Strong work Dave!!

      On the alarm clock note, a college student from MIT invented a device called "Clocky" which is an alarm clock that after you hit (AKA beat the **** out of) the snooze button, the alarm will drive off the nightstand, so that the next time it goes off, you cannot reach it from your bed! Then when (or IF) you get out of bed to reach it, it will roll away again.

      I NEED this device!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Max Fischer
        Strong work Dave!!

        On the alarm clock note, a college student from MIT invented a device called "Clocky" which is an alarm clock that after you hit (AKA beat the **** out of) the snooze button, the alarm will drive off the nightstand, so that the next time it goes off, you cannot reach it from your bed! Then when (or IF) you get out of bed to reach it, it will roll away again.

        I NEED this device!
        It would work all of twice with me. I keep various and assorted weapons close to bed, few of them traditional. It won't be able to roll away with a crossbow bolt pinning it down, and I somehow doubt the Mr Sword will allow it to make much noise after that. On the upshot, I'd be awake.
        STFU! Another great suggestion from the same mind that brought you "Kiss my butt" and "Leave me alone"


        Why not?

        Comment


        • #5
          Getting back to the original subject, enough garlic and cayenne will cure ANYTHING!

          -Sarge
          "He's not a known offender Captain... he's not even a known species..!"

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by HeyCJ
            Coke and baking soda will remove the oil stains from the garage floor.

            Hey, is there any proof to the urban legend that y'all carry Coke in your trunks to rinse bloodstains from the pavement?

            -Sarge
            "He's not a known offender Captain... he's not even a known species..!"

            Comment


            • #7
              If you cut your head, apply tourniquet to neck
              RIP Brett Thompson, 17, 09/12/1989-09/14/2006

              Seatbelts save lives

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by SgtFang
                Hey, is there any proof to the urban legend that y'all carry Coke in your trunks to rinse bloodstains from the pavement?

                -Sarge

                i have heard this one to, and have been told that it works, but i haven't met an officer that carries any in the trunk.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by e-man
                  Holy sheep**** Dave you are one wild and crazy guy Just where do you get these?

                  I get emails like this from friends and family all the time.


                  Originally posted by HeyCJ
                  Dave, you start the funniest threads!
                  Thanks. I love to make people smile.
                  If you ever have sprained ankle, give me a call.

                  Comment

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