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  • The stupidest article Gawker has ever published

    ...and that is quite a claim.




    http://gawker.com/all-the-things-not...hil-1623421423


    All The Things Not to Do When You Capture Your Own Child Mugger


    On Friday, a white lady named Clara Vondrich had her iPhone stolen out of her hand in Williamsburg but was able to catch one of the thieves, a 13-year-old boy. This story made it into the New York Post, and in the process taught us all important lessons about what not to do when you're able to capture your own child mugger.

    Vondrich, 35, was standing in front of a coffee shop in the thick of gentrified Williamsburg—South 3rd and Wythe—when someone ran up behind her and snatched her phone out of her hand. A chase ensued! (DISCLAIMER: in the following passage the Post refers to Vondrich as a superhero.)

    Wearing a pair of thick wedges and a sundress, Vondrich chased after him.

    Hot on the kid's heels, she pleaded with him to give the cellphone back.

    "I was screaming the whole time, 'Get that kid!' " Vondrich recalled. "I finally said, 'Yo, I'll give you $200 for that. Just stop.' "

    Vondrich said the teen appeared to be out of shape and handed off the phone to his more nimble pal, who ran off.

    But she kept after the slow boy, who was huffing and puffing down Wythe Avenue during the five-block chase.

    The Wonder Woman grabbed hold of the teen at South Sixth Street and Wythe Avenue, wrapping her arms around his chest and pinning him against a car.

    This should have been the end of the story, and, in fact, none of us should know about this. Instead, Clara Vondrich did a bunch of ****ty things you should never do when it turns out your mugger is a child.

    1. Pose for press photos with your child mugger

    Now, it seems clear that this story came about because Post photographer Stefan Jeremiah happened to be right near the scene of the "crime." Nonetheless, if you are to apprehend your child mugger don't pose for photos in the newspaper, especially if you are white and the child mugger happens to be black. This is an extremely bad look, I think we all can agree.

    2. Pose for press photos in general

    After the 13-year-old who stole her iPhone was hauled away by real police (more on this later), Clara Vondrich posed for solo photos on the sidewalk of Williamsburg like she was in a damn catalog.

    No adult should feel the need to show up in The New York Post with a heroic smirk on her face after chasing down and hogtying a 13-year-old boy. This is a sociopathic desire.

    3. Don't call the kid fat in the newspaper

    Here is why Clara Vondrich was able to catch the 13-year-old boy, despite wearing clogs.

    "He was so pudgy and was slowing down, so that's why I caught up to him," Vondrich said, adding she felt sorry for the kid.

    This kid has enough problems—he was booked on charges of grand larceny, his Mom is probably really mad at him, kids at school will definitely make fun of him endlessly for being caught from behind by a white lady wearing zany sunglasses. The last thing he needs is to be called fat in the newspaper. Have a heart, Clara Vondrich.

    4. Have the kid arrested for stealing your phone

    Now, granted, it's not entirely Clara Vondrich's fault that this 13-year-old boy was arrested by police for stealing her phone. But, she did, by her own admission, willingly cause the commotion that led up to police being summoned, and she did—as the photos show—keep the kid pinned to a car until police arrived despite already knowing that he didn't posses her phone.

    Vondrich says that she "felt sorry" for the kid, but not enough to not have him arrested and charged with grand larceny. The boy will now enter New York's vaunted juvenile justice system, which will likely **** up his life even further, simply because he snatched a white lady's iPhone in Williamsburg.

    If you are nonviolently mugged by a child, continue to let him run along with his friends. The world will be a better place.

  • #2
    It is write-ups like that which caused me to stop reading Gizmodo/Gawker/Jezabel/etc. Many of their "writers" are complete tools.
    “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” ― Winston Churchill

    Comment


    • #3
      It was robbery -- not merely larceny -- and the handoff makes it arguably conspiracy.

      Comment


      • #4
        If you are nonviolently mugged by a child, continue to let him run along with his friends. The world will be a better place.
        So when he's older and less fat he can beat you to death for your purse. Or still be just as fat and shoot you. Sure, sounds like a great plan - let the criminals go. No flaws whatsoever. /s/

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by JustAJ View Post
          So when he's older and less fat he can beat you to death for your purse. Or still be just as fat and shoot you. Sure, sounds like a great plan - let the criminals go. No flaws whatsoever. /s/
          Or he can be like that @sshole in MO.

          Comment


          • #6
            They should add one more item:
            5. If you're stupid to do all that candy*** hug-a-thug crap we're suggesting, have your damned tubes tied. The world doesn't need any more generations of your ignorance. You're a professional victim, and a quitter.
            Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan

            I don't think It'll happen in the US because we don't trust our government. We are a country of skeptics, raised by skeptics, founded by skeptics. - Amaroq

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Steve856
              I think that this article was written tongue in cheek.
              It wasn't. The author attempts to defend his position in the comment section, as a vast majority of Gawker readers don't even agree with him.

              Comment


              • #8
                I wouldn't call the article stupid - it's simply the viewpoint of the left: collectivism, relativism, and a refusal to acknowledge that different cultural values produce different outcomes. So what does the left believe? Either we are all thieves or none of us are; either we are all murderers or none of us are; nobody is any better or worse than anybody else; crime is a 'social justice' problem (not a personal responsibility problem, not a values problem). If you have a nice phone, that's not because you worked for it, but because the patriarchy and white privilege gave it to you; ultimately, nobody should have any kind of property, because it's unfair to those who have little or nothing etc.

                There are people on the left who are smarter than I am, I just can't get into that mindset.
                https://www.thereligionofpeace.com/TROP.jpg

                List of Islamic terror attacks in the last 30 days

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Steve856
                  I think that this article was written tongue in cheek.
                  Maybe it was written by a former NFL player with as-yet undiagnosed head injuries.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The hipsters of Willamsburg and other gentrifying areas are big advocates of hands off policing, its only fitting that they should be the first to benefit from the street crime that will follow.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Is it just me or is the fact that she is a "white lady" irrelevant?
                      I yell "PIKACHU" before I tase someone.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gradient Shift View Post
                        It is write-ups like that which caused me to stop reading Gizmodo/Gawker/Jezabel/etc. Many of their "writers" are complete tools.
                        Jezebel I can see. Deadspin isn't so bad.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Rudy8116 View Post
                          Is it just me or is the fact that she is a "white lady" irrelevant?
                          It's the authors way of trying to insert some type of racism in the womans actions.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by BNWS View Post
                            It's the authors way of trying to insert some type of racism in the womans actions.
                            Important to remember that their business model is predicated on the number of "page views" or "clicks" their stories receive, so they deliberately try to be as inflammatory as possible to get people to share their content (seems like it worked here!)

                            Same with Huffington Post. Same with BuzzFeed, Fox Nation, Twitchy...they're all pretty terrible.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              When the kid handed off the phone to his friend he was probably expecting the woman to run after his friend instead and he was off the hook. He must have been completely disappointed when she nabbed him.

                              Comment

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