'Date from Hell' Excerpt

[Stitch]

....at the end of a bizarre dinner date, where he lunged across the table in an attempt to kiss me and dumped his greasy crumbly plate in his own lap:

HIM: 'So what are you doing Saturday?'

ME: 'I'm meeting some people at the art museum to see an exhibit. Then we'll do some sketching.' (relieved I'm not free that day...so I don't have to make up a lie.)

HIM:' I'm trying to get back to my artsy side too. I've started wearing Batman underwear again.'

ME: 'oh....'

[Empire02]

You can always feel safe around a man in batman underwear.

FACT

[Stitch]

Batman underwear...as effective a form of contraception as wearing rainbow suspenders....

[JasperST]

Holy crumbly greasy plate Batgirl. He took you out to Burger King? If you play your cards right you might get to check out the bunk beds in the Batcave. Just don't wake up mom upstairs.

[FromOhio]

Should have said ''O RLY? We'll go over to your moms place after and check them out! Maybe she washed your spiderman ones too!''

[asullivan]

....at the end of a bizarre dinner date, Sully lunged across the table in an attempt to kiss me and dumped his greasy crumbly plate in his own lap:

Sully: 'So what are you doing Saturday?'

ME: 'I'm meeting some people . I had to make up a lie.)

So ya' lied ta' ma' darl'in....


And Stitchy bayba',,,, ya' so damn beautiful's like....


Now Iz' gotta' go whack off......









Whack off soMebody's ta' take out ma' frustration's...








Meet Mr. Python!!!!!



Die ya' bastard!!!!!

[Stitch]

So... how was he in the sack?

u are such a weenie

[woodstock]

HYSTERICAL!!!!! (yet highly disturbing..)

[Ignite]

Sounds like a triumphant success.

[L-1]

I read an even worse one 20 years ago -

He spent all his money on ludes and then took me to dinner at the Pup & Taco. He wanted me to do it with him in the dempsey dumpster behind the drive though.

[asullivan]

An even worse one 20 years ago -

He spent all his money on ludes and then took me to dinner at the Pup & Taco. He wanted me to do it with him in the dempsey dumpster behind the drive though.

HAAAAAHAAAHaaaaaAAAAA!!!!! LOFAO!!!!

Hear that mary lue?

Sire Lieutenant, how many tacos did ya' eat befer' ya' ended up in da' dumpster!


Hey Mary Lue, quit play'in with that bud and cram it in da' bowl!

[L-1]

It truly was a pulp novel and there there was more that was left out -

Would you go out with him again?

Well, only if he was more considerate of my feelings.

[RR_Security]

ME: 'I'm meeting some people at the art museum to see an exhibit. Then we'll do some sketching.' (relieved I'm not free that day...so I don't have to make up a lie.)

Kudos for not falling back on the old "I have to wash my hair" schtick.

HIM:' I'm trying to get back to my artsy side too. I've started wearing Batman underwear again.'

Get a good set of notes, Sparky. There's gonna be a quiz later:
1) It's possible to be too straight-faced when you make a joke like that.
2) Even joking, you might want to save that revelation for a (much) later date.
3) If you weren't joking, well . . . You are hereby condemned to a lifetime of nothing beyond the first date, and you should consider yourself lucky if/when you get the first dates.

One good thing about guys like that: They make me look as suave as James Bond.

[icecoldblueyes]

Met a guy a few weeks ago...... conversation started with "I live with my 50 yr old crazy ex-girlfriend". Went downhill from there.

[mac266]

Well...I guess it's a good thing I wore my "Home of the Whopper" underwear today!!!