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  • Can anyone help this woman?

    Just saw this on the local craigslist:




    Wanted: Witch Doctor to perform vaginal reconstruction

    I have a fear of western medicine and am looking for a traditional shaman or medicine man to perform a vaginal reconstruction. 35 years of hard partying and frequent tanning have left me with a rather leathery vagina. I am a practicing Wiccan and believe fully in the power of a spirit leader to perform a natural holistic surgery. I have participated in the life miracle seven times and have developed a rather uninspiring southern region as a result.

    I am willing to trade hard to find spiritual supplies in exchange for the assistance. I have a large supply of Dragon's fang as well as kitten drool, eye of newt, maple bars, spirit of unlevened bread, sage, paprika and twilight sprinkle.

    Only seriously interested parties need apply.

    Blessed be,

    Moonshade

  • #2
    wow....knock her off the list of potential dates...
    Whatever hits the fan, will not be evenly distributed.
    Some minds are like concrete...Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
    01 CVPI - Former OKCPD gang unit #0113129
    http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3037005
    http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g316/russrad25/6c.jpg http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...4-832889-1.jpg
    My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!
    ~Thomas Jefferson

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Russrad25 View Post
      wow....knock her off the list of potential dates...
      No doubt. Never thought I'd have to add "do you have a leathery vagina" to my date screening test...
      “We don't disagree, you are wrong. Until you have a clue what you are talking about we can't disagree.” - cgh6366

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by nuthead View Post
        No doubt. Never thought I'd have to add "do you have a leathery vagina" to my date screening test...
        I just wanna know how you would work that question in to a conversation.
        Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Dingbat View Post
          I just wanna know how you would work that question in to a conversation.
          It's a delicate issue to be sure, it would require some smoothness, like maybe "Say, how do you like my LEATHER jacket? You know, speaking of LEATHER, the last gal I dated had a..."

          Comment


          • #6
            Maybe throwing some alum and some carmex up there will help.
            The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

            Comment


            • #7
              Another question comes to mind....

              What exactly where you looking for on craigs list to find that?
              Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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              • #8
                Gold Bond?

                Comment


                • #9
                  i see your gold bond and raise you

                  Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dingbat View Post
                    Another question comes to mind....

                    What exactly where you looking for on craigs list to find that?
                    Leather repair.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by JasperST View Post
                      Just saw this on the local craigslist:




                      Wanted: Witch Doctor to perform vaginal reconstruction

                      I have a fear of western medicine and am looking for a traditional shaman or medicine man to perform a vaginal reconstruction. 35 years of hard partying and frequent tanning have left me with a rather leathery vagina. I am a practicing Wiccan and believe fully in the power of a spirit leader to perform a natural holistic surgery. I have participated in the life miracle seven times and have developed a rather uninspiring southern region as a result.

                      I am willing to trade hard to find spiritual supplies in exchange for the assistance. I have a large supply of Dragon's fang as well as kitten drool, eye of newt, maple bars, spirit of unlevened bread, sage, paprika and twilight sprinkle.

                      Only seriously interested parties need apply.

                      Blessed be,

                      Moonshade
                      YOU have GOT to be making this up... no way I refuse to believe it.. If she is for real then Moonshade must hang out with those satanic sisters in the story on the general law enforcement forum...
                      I'm not small, I'm fun sized....

                      You're the reason I have Pistanthrophobia.

                      Where's my EFF You Font on my computer?

                      Скажите мне другая история...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow, I never thought I would turn down a yummy maple bar, but in this case? Yeah, gonna have to pass.

                        How exactly do you tan your vagina though, especially enough to achieve "leathery" status?
                        "Snort-laughter is the best medicine"
                        ----- Mussel Bound


                        Don't forget to laugh today. The more implausible it seems, the more you need to.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Dingbat View Post
                          i see your gold bond and raise you

                          Way way way too funny!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Maybe a sun lamp attached to a female toy?

                            God i see this thread going down faster then paris hiltons panties.
                            Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Elle p View Post
                              YOU have GOT to be making this up... no way I refuse to believe it.. If she is for real then Moonshade must hang out with those satanic sisters in the story on the general law enforcement forum...
                              I'm not making it up, maybe someone did. Lots of very loopy hippies here though. Maybe I will email and tell them and say I have experience re-soling old combat boots and am a purple belt Warlock.

                              Comment

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