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Best LE quotes ever. What U got?

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  • Best LE quotes ever. What U got?

    My all time favorite, which is the long version of what's in my sig line:

    When asked why he and fellow SWAT members shot cop killer Angilo Freeland 68 times after finding him hiding in the woods, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd responded, “That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more”

    Sheriff Grady is an Alpha stud mother f-er.

    Post yours here. Rule is, must be LE related, not just random quotes. What you got?
    - Will

    Performance/Fitness Advice For the Tactical Community

    www.OptimalSWAT.com

    General Performance/Fitness Advice for all

    www.BrinkZone.com

  • #2
    I gave this little gem on a traffic stop years ago and still use it today depending on my mood:

    violator: "Can I get a warning on this?"

    me: "sure, here's your warning: if you speed through here again, I will give you ANOTHER ticket"
    "I don't go on "I'maworthlesscumdumpster.com" and post negative **** about cum dumpsters."
    The Tick

    "Are you referring to the secret headquarters of a fictional crime fighter or penal complex slang for a-$$hole, anus or rectum?"
    sanitizer

    "and we all know you are a poser and a p*ssy.... "
    Bearcat357 to Dinner Portion/buck8/long relief

    Comment


    • #3
      "but Officer I didn't do it!" I turn to my partner "one of these days we have got to stop arresting these innocent people, sir after we get done booking you I promise I will make sure I only arrest guilty people from now on."
      Happy to be here proud to serve

      "Well it appears this lock does not accept american express."

      Never trust fire fighters to point out a suspect.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by WillBrink View Post
        My all time favorite, which is the long version of what's in my sig line:

        When asked why he and fellow SWAT members shot cop killer Angilo Freeland 68 times after finding him hiding in the woods, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd responded, “That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more”

        Sheriff Grady is an Alpha stud mother f-er.

        Post yours here. Rule is, must be LE related, not just random quotes. What you got?



        Not many would have the balls to say that straight up and non-politically correct reply.

        Comment


        • #5
          Drunk Kid: *Whining* My friend is fine, he don't need to go to the hospital.
          *Drunk Kid's drunk friend passes out and goes unconscious*
          Me: Are you sure about that?
          Drunk Kid: Okay, maybe not.

          Comment


          • #6
            St Pat's Day at an old dept. My retired Sgt to a very drunk out of towner.

            "What's your mom and dad's address?"
            "Why?"
            "Well when we catch people ******ing in the street we like to write down the address of your parents, then in about a month we rent a party bus, get a couple of kegs and drive to all of these address's in my little book and ****** on your mom and dad's house. That sound like fun to you junior? No? Then ****** IN the porta potty you were ******ing ON the outside of."
            Sometimes, doing the right thing means p***ing off the bosses.

            "And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord for thee."

            Originally posted by dontknowwhy
            I still think troopers and deputies who work in the middle of no where with essentially no back up are the 'men among men' of the LEO world.
            Originally posted by weinerdog2000
            as far as your social experiment, if we cant film you then you cant film us, we will arrest you for obstruction of our freedom.

            Comment


            • #7
              This is one I use when I have the guy filled w/liquid courage:

              tough guy: "I'm gonna kick your a** when you take thes cuffs off."
              Me: (holding my hand out, palm down, and steady) "You know what that is?"
              TG: "No. What?"
              Me: "Controlled fear!!"
              "Lay there and bleed awhile before you feel some real pain."

              "Have a cup of coffee, a pall mall, and relax!"

              Comment


              • #8
                "Why you always f'en with us black folks?"

                "Well sir!, I normally f with the white folks but none of them are around so I chose you!"
                This is for all you parents that like to put your kids names on the back of your mini-vans.

                STOP IT! There are predators that will use that information against them!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Bad Guy: "You take these cuffs off and I am going to kick all your asses....you *******s using that Cop Kung Fu sh#t on me is the only way you got me in these damn cuffs....... I'll show you what a real man is all about and kick your asses all the way back to the 'Ville......Mo'fo's...."

                  Sheriff: Slows down patrol car and starts to pull to the side of the road....

                  Bad Guy: "What you doing Mo'Fo...?"

                  Sheriff: "Tired of listening to your sh#t.....I'm pulling over and taking those cuffs off and seeing if you are as tough as you say you are..."

                  Bad Guy: To me... "You going to let him do that...?"

                  Me: "He's the Sheriff....he signs my paycheck twice a month....Guess who's side I'm on....? You want me to call the ambulance now or are we just going to take him to St. Francis ourselves...?"

                  Sheriff: Pulls car to side of road....stops....and pops door open.....

                  Bad Guy: "It's cool Mo'fo....it's cool!!! I'll chill, I'll chill...!! Crazy Mo'fos...."

                  Sheriff shuts door and off we go.....

                  Silence for 20 miles......


                  Last edited by Bearcat357; 03-25-2011, 02:46 AM. Reason: spelling issues

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by DeputySC View Post
                    Not many would have the balls to say that straight up and non-politically correct reply.
                    Damn right!
                    - Will

                    Performance/Fitness Advice For the Tactical Community

                    www.OptimalSWAT.com

                    General Performance/Fitness Advice for all

                    www.BrinkZone.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bearcat357 View Post
                      Bad Guy: "You take these cuffs off and I am going to kick all your asses....you *******s using that Cop Kung Fu sh#t on me is the only way you got me in these damn cuffs....... I'll show you what a real man is all about and kick your asses all the way back to the 'Ville......Mo'fo's...."

                      Sheriff: Slows down patrol car and starts to pull to the side of the road....

                      Bad Guy: "What you doing Mo'Fo...?"

                      Sheriff: "Tired of listening to your sh#t.....I'm pulling over and taking those cuffs off and seeing if you are as tough as you say you are..."

                      Bad Guy: To me... "You going to let him do that...?"

                      Me: "He's the Sheriff....he signs my paycheck twice a month....Guess who's side I'm on....? You want me to call the ambulance now or are we just going to take him to St. Francis ourselves...?"

                      Sheriff: Pulls car to side of road....stops....and pops door open.....

                      Bad Guy: "It's cool Mo'fo....it's cool!!! I'll chill, I'll chill...!! Crazy Mo'fos...."

                      Sheriff shuts door and off we go.....

                      Silence for 20 miles......


                      Epic... That's awesome.
                      I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.
                      - Mark Twain

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just the other day we chased a transient off from a local coffee haunt.

                        As he rode his bike away he yells out, "You're a bunch of bitc### always fng with me"

                        My partner, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you come on back here and say that"

                        Bum "F You" as he continues to ride away

                        Partner, "Yeah, that's what I thought, who's the biatch now"
                        Today's Quote:

                        "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
                        Albert Einstein

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sheriff to soon to be fired Deputy: "You gonna quit or am I going to have fire you.....?"

                          Soon to be fired Deputy: "Uhh...Uhh...I didn't do a thing....I swear...!"

                          Sheriff: "Whats this then?" As he spins a Dispatcher's cell phone around on the desk revealing a picture of a penis that was texted to her several hours before.....from his phone with the caption..... "You know you want this inside you again baby....don't you...?"

                          Deputy: "Uhh....Uhh..... Uhh..." as his face turns beat red.....

                          Sheriff: "You can either claim it as yours.....and quit......or we shall have a line-up....and I will fire you after she picks it out.....your choice....."

                          Deputy: "Where do I sign....?"


                          And before anyone mouths about FOP/Union..... MO is a non-Union state....and they can fire you just because.....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            There was an old sergeant here when I started (I've mentioned him a few times before.) Here's some of his gems:

                            "I'll tell you this much. They can't prove the back or the mind. Remember that when this sh*t get's to be too much. The back and the mind."

                            "Some people you can reason with by talking to them. Some people need the stick."

                            "There ain't no law against bein' crazy."

                            "Look lady, I'm a cop. If I can't beat it into a pair of handcuffs, write it a ticket, or shoot it, there's not much can I do about it."
                            Originally posted by kontemplerande
                            Without Germany, you would not have won World War 2.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Me: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're being charged criminally for breaking your neighbor's window."
                              Bad Guy: "What's the good news?"
                              Me: "I just saved a load on car insurance by switching to Geico!!"

                              And before anyone asks; yes, that was a real conversation I had.

                              Comment

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