Funny quotes

[Flguy]

Here's some of my favorite random quotes I've found on the Internet today, what are some of yours?

We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful

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If there is a tourist season why can't we shoot them?

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Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

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Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window.

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I don't use 9-1-1, I use .357

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Kids in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.

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It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden... It's our job to arrange the meeting -USMC

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Your just jealous because the voices talk to me

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Strike a blow for justice: punch an attorney

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*I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be

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Where There's A Whip, There's A Way.

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*CAUTION: WIDE LOAD! (your mother's in the back!)

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I brake for no good reason

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****, gas, or cash nobody rides for free

[crass cop]

You can build a thousand bridges, but suck one cok and youre not known as a "bridge builder"...youre known as a cok-sukker"
-I believe that beauty is from PTLCOP and I LOVE it!

There was one?
- Cruiser from Stripes

see my sig lines for further information

[Jiu-Jitsu Cop]

If dolphins are soooo smart then why do they keep getting caught in nets.
Cartman, South Park

[PaxSR9]

Do you need a sliencer to shoot a mime?

[Redders]

Some mornings its not worth getting up and fighting the clowns under the bed anymore.

[OneAdam12]

flguy
We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful

We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful
We have done so much with so little for so long we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

That was my sheriff's motto!

[mvill203]

"Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while."

Charles Barkley, after blatantly elbowing
an Angolan basketball opponent
in the Olympics