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Mutant chicken anyone?


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  • Mutant chicken anyone?

    Since KFC only allowed 1800 Characters(including spaces) I had to edit down the version I sent to them.

    This is all true.


    The last few times I’ve been to KFC I have gotten some pieces of chicken that look like thighs. Once I got past the extra crispy batter it ceased to look like a thigh. In fact, it didn’t look like any part of the chicken that I am familiar with. So I dubbed these strange new pieces as mutant chicken.

    The next time around when eating the thigh, I was wary and more careful since this dinner had turned into a dinner post mortem. After I had eaten all the meat off this strange looking piece of mutant chicken, I could see the structure well enough to know that if this actually was a chicken, the hip and thigh bone were mismatched. But how? The muscles held what should have been the thigh bone in the hip socket, but the thigh bone was 1/3 the diameter it should have been. I played around with it a bit by placing the thigh bone back into the hip socket and rotating until it was fitted. Then I started moving back and forth. It apparently belonged there, but why so small? Gotta eat more chicken to find out.

    Yesterday, I went back to KFC and asked them about these strange mutant chicken pieces disguised as thighs. An immediate look of puzzlement came upon the girls face…so I knew she was ignorant of what was going on.

    When I got home with the newly acquired bucket of half extra crispy and half original, I did as I always do, I grabbed a breast. Now normally when you grab a breast the landmarks are easy to identify, even with all that wonderfully delicious extra crispy batter on it. This was not the case with this particular breast. It was like I’d grabbed a supposedly filleted fish and bit into a bone. There were bones where there should not have been bones. This bugged me.

    Since I didn’t want to get any part of my mouth impaled by some mutant chicken bone, I proceeded to eat with extreme caution, which took a lot of the enjoyment out of my meal. In the process of carefully removing the meat bite by careful bite, the tail section of the spine was revealed, along with part of the hip and a tiny mutated thigh bone. By mutated I mean that the thigh bone is usually the size of a first graders pencil. This thigh bone was about the diameter of a plastic cocktail straw/stirrer.

    Moving/eating on, I discover that the breast, at least the part of it that had what could be identified as ribs without any uncertainty on my part, had been whacked like it’d been carelessly thrown like a baseball into an awaiting butcher knife.

    AHA! That’s it! KFC now has untrained butchers cutting up their chickens. At least that is my theory at the present time. More investigating to follow.

    "Po Po coming through!" all rights reserved DJS

    'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'


    M16/AR15/M4 Armorer

  • #2
    Chickens today are grown so that they gain mass at a super fast rate.

    In fact, they grow so much muscle so fast, their organs can't keep up.

    They take a few steps, and then fall over exhausted. It's all really quite disgusting, once you learn how our meat industry works these days.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go thaw my frozen chicken for dinner.


    MR300x250 Tablet


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