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He died today.

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  • He died today.

    Whether ironic or just apropos, this morning was rather dreary to begin with. It was cold, windy and overcast after last night's torrential downpour. I got a call from my daughter while I was at work and I could hear the worry in her voice when she left the message saying he had trouble breathing and was not wanting to get up off the ground. When I called back, my friend and roommate told me she didn't think he was gonna make it. Shortly thereafter I got another message to call home and through the crying on the other end of the phone was told "He didn't make it". I cried with her over the phone. It was just after 10am.

    I spent the rest of the day wanting to find a way - any way - to ease the pain of losing him. All day long people could see in my eyes that something was wrong, but they smartly left me the hell alone. When I got off work I came home and saw a blanketed silhouette in the back yard. I changed shirts, picked up the shovel and started digging. 4" down I realized a round nosed shovel just wasn't going to cut it, so I had to go to the store and buy a pick. I ended up actively digging with a pick and shovel in the Arizona soil for around 2 hours. I had to resize the hole a couple times once I realized just how big he was.

    I brought my daughter out to him and told her the hole was done and this was her last chance to say goodbye to him if she wanted to. We walked out to him and I told her how much I already missed him and how much I loved him. I started to say "Goodbye buddy" but I couldn't finish a fragment of the phrase before gushing with tears. I cannot honestly remember the last time I cried... My daughter wrapped her arms around me and just let me blubber on. I finally pulled myself together, told her I loved her and sent her back inside. I apologized to Inan as I had to unceremoniously drag him across the ground to his final resting place. He now lies in repose in the middle of the back yard.

    Evidently 9 years is very old for a Rottweiler. He'd been sick on and off for a couple months. There were issues with him not eating and being lethargic. Being old surely didn't help in those areas, I'm sure. He loved, loved, LOVED kids. Never snapped at or bit a one of 'em. They always loved to tug on his ears or try to ride him like a pony and he loved every minute of it.

    I already miss my buddy. He and his cohort in crime Mojo (not in these photographs, but still alive and sleeping on the bed as I type) kept me company during my separation when the house was just about empty. Coming home to an empty house after a hard day's work was not easy, but the pair made it at least tolerable. Probably kept me from doing something stupid, too. I'll miss his schnoz pushing on my hand or forearm wanting to be petted. He won't be able to rest his head on my knee and look up with his eyes longingly as if to remind me he's there and wants attention.

    With my daughter a couple days after we got him in 2001.


    On his big, fancy bed.


    He loved her to death. Literally...


    Disregard the carpet. It was a rental...


    Last year.


    I'm emotionally and physically worn out. I'm sore and sweaty from digging. My boots were dirty and muddy along with my work pants. I'm sitting here wishing I could give anything to have him back and healthy for just another week...another day... I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow when I don't see him in the morning as he had taken to lying in front of my bedroom door.

    R.I.P. Inan (pronounced eye-nun).

    I loved you. I miss you buddy.






    This *****ing blows...
    NRA Life Member

    The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. - Sir Robert Peel

    Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

  • #2
    Sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great friend.
    What Is A Veteran?
    A 'Veteran,' whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve is 'someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.

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    • #3
      Anyone who says dogs are not family members has obviously not had one. Feel your pain.
      I yell "PIKACHU" before I tase someone.

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      • #4
        I'm so sorry for your loss, Sarge.

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        • #5
          Man, my heart goes out to you. Inan was part of your family, this I know, as a fellow canine lover. I too will one day have to deal with the pain you are feeling. He was a good looking dog. My favorite pics are the ones with him with your daughter and the one looking up at you as he relaxes on the pavement. It's those big brown eyes looking up at you on the last one. It looks like they're saying "Are we going to go do something, otherwise I'm going to relax right here."

          You may or may not have read this before (it's about our lost four legged family members):

          Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

          When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
          There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
          There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

          All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
          The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

          They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

          You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

          Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

          Author unknown...
          Last edited by BigSky; 02-28-2011, 01:33 AM.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rudy8116 View Post
            Anyone who says dogs are not family members has obviously not had one. Feel your pain.
            This. Still think about my penny 7 years later every day. Sorry for your loss.

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            • #7
              Is it bad that I teared up while reading this? My girlfriend has an adorable 8-year old black lab, who I now call mine too, and I'm not sure what I would do without him around.

              I'm relatively new to this community, but hang in there.

              At least it seems like he spent his entire life in your family - so you know it was a good existence for him.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by AK_Alex View Post
                Is it bad that I teared up while reading this? My girlfriend has an adorable 8-year old black lab, who I now call mine too, and I'm not sure what I would do without him around.

                I'm relatively new to this community, but hang in there.

                At least it seems like he spent his entire life in your family - so you know it was a good existence for him.
                No, it's not bad. I teared up too.

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                • #9
                  I feel for ya, i cant put anymore of my thoughts into words , but the rainbow bridge story above keeps me going through the bad times

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                  • #10
                    I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs are better than most people I know.

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                    • #11
                      its been 7 years since I sat on the kitchen floor sobbing with my girl in my arms and I still get upset thinking about the night she died

                      hang in there bud
                      Originally posted by Rudy8116
                      The only reason I have one in the chamber at all times is because it is impossible to have two in.

                      Originally posted by CruiserClass
                      OC is my last option. I've never met anyone immune to electricity or physics.

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                      • #12
                        Sarge, I'm sorry about your loss................

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by tn_gunslinger View Post
                          I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs are better than most people I know.
                          +1000

                          Sorry for your loss Sarge
                          Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

                          My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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                          • #14
                            I'm am so sorry for your loss.

                            Hugggs!!




                            World_So_Cold

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                            • #15
                              I have been there too many times, myself, and have one pending-- I just hate it.

                              I am sorry for your loss, Sarge.

                              They are one of our biggest blessings in life, so the loss of them is one of our biggest losses.
                              We do not all come to religion over the wandering years,
                              but sooner or later we all get to meet God. -- Edward Conlon

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