Feeling guilty..........but why

[DACP]

Any of you ever have something that for whatever reason you stopped many years ago, then one day out of the blue you pick it back up, but feel very guilty about what you did? Nothing was illegal, immoral or anything like that. Here is the back story, many years ago I use to play in a band, and worked as a rodie, woke up one day decided to get my act together went into the military then got into law enforcement, I never looked back and have no regrets, just stopped doing it. Went into work today and one of the guys brought in his guitar no idea as to why, but as the day went on I kept getting annoyed at every one picking the dam thing up and trying to do their best Eddie VanHallen impression, only to hear them killing something. I spouted off with something to the effect if you can’t play then don’t try, of which all the ripping started on me, I’m not sure at what point I snapped, but I walked over picked it up made a few adjustments on the amp, asked for a request, replied with way to easy, then proceeded to shred some songs that came to mind. Evidently I caught some attention as I opened my eyes to put the guitar back, there were a few people standing there in amazement, I simply put it down went back to the computer and finished the case I was working on. For a few minutes I was back in time, it felt good, but very odd, it was almost like I felt guilty for doing something wrong. My wife thinks I’m nuts, but it has been bugging the crap out of me all day. I stopped playing about 15 years ago, talk about it here and there when the subject comes up, am not ashamed of any of it, I just feel guilty for some odd reason.

[Taylor13]

Maybe you should play the guitar every once in a while.. or go do karaoke on a day off. Get it all out of your system.

[Kieth M.]

Guilt? Grief sounds more like it...grieving for the life you walked away from. Good or bad, it was your youth. When the world was yours and you were going to live forever. Long before the weight of the world settled firmly on your shoulders.

At least that's my story!

[Futurelaw89]

Ahh man. I have respect for you and will try to offer my best two cents.

You shouldn't feel guilty! It was apart of your past and you got to relive it for a brief moment. You got your act together and just decided to remember what its like to shred on that guitar. Shoot...you could turn playing the guitar into a stress reliever/hobby.

I would compare your situation to a high school football star, all grown up who decides to show up everyone in a friendly game No harm done, just reviving old talents.


Now when you drop your career and become a rodie again then....that's a different story.



All the best,
Futurelaw

[Southflaguy]

It sounds more like regret then guilt...Maybe deep down you still want a music career or want to play music somewhere...Sure, you have a great career in LE, but maybe you really wanted to do was music...I'm sure you've thought about even before this whole incident w/ the guitar went down...

Maybe you can find a resturant or bar that will let amature artist play...

[Kieth M.]

Guilt means "I made a mistake" or "I was wrong." Your story does not sound like either of those two endings would fit in. That's why I wonder of it's some other emotion.

[Monty Ealerman]

Hi DACP,

I'm lucky to still have my Mom and Dad at their advanced age (early 80s). Condolences to anyone reading this whose parent has passed on. God rest and keep them and help those who are carrying on.

Last week I got to visit Mom and Dad, and I played (on acoustic guitar) and sang some songs for a couple of hours for Mom, while Dad was at work grading papers. Mom loved hearing all those country and gospel songs with a few blues and rock songs thrown in. She kept taking pictures and insisted that I make another recording for her.

Please don't feel bad about having put your musicianship on the shelf for a time, or about taking it up again for a time, whenever the occasion might arise.

Regards,

Monty

[FJDave]

I play bass, and used to play bass in a metal band. In 1981 we opened for Metallica at the Waters Club in San Pedro. It was our last show, and I miss it. I would LOVE to get back into a band. All this just to say....

Pick it back up, brother. Play on your weekends. As you found out, you will get lost in your music and all stress will fade, even if for a brief moment. Playing guitar is part of you. Bring it back into your life. You won't regret it.

[Futurelaw89]

In 1981 we opened for Metallica at the Waters Club in San Pedro

[just joe]

Start playing again...Doesn't mean you gotta hit a bong if you do. I know an officer who plays in a band on some weekends with his non-LEO friends (who also have "real jobs")--he has a great time and makes a little extra cash on the side.

[RoadKingTrooper]

I feel your pain DA, why just the other night I was in the ER for Pneumonia and while waiting on the gurney for a Dr. I wandered by one of the OR rooms and observed a brain transplant operation. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was overwhelmed by the moment.

I changed into scrubs and went in and assisted. The primary Surgeon recognized me and allowed me to take over. Boy did it bring back the memories! Blood, sharp instruments, electronic gizmo's. I felt like I was again in Heaven!

I have to admit that while the experience did bring back fond memories, I must admit that it is best I moved on.

Don't feel guilty, enjoy it for what it is, a brief journey back to simpler and maybe happier times.

Regards,

RKT

[willowdared]

I think we sometimes feel that different stages of our lives need to be boxed and put away....so letting part of your old life crossing over to your current life was disconcerting?

By the way, our department has it's own cover band.

http://code3cover.com/

[Mstangfk]

I feel your pain DA, why just the other night I was in the ER for Pneumonia and while waiting on the gurney for a Dr. I wandered by one of the OR rooms and observed a brain transplant operation. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was overwhelmed by the moment.

I changed into scrubs and went in and assisted. The primary Surgeon recognized me and allowed me to take over. Boy did it bring back the memories! Blood, sharp instruments, electronic gizmo's. I felt like I was again in Heaven!

I have to admit that while the experience did bring back fond memories, I must admit that it is best I moved on.

Don't feel guilty, enjoy it for what it is, a brief journey back to simpler and maybe happier times.

Regards,

RKT

LOL

[FJDave]

I feel your pain DA, why just the other night I was in the ER for Pneumonia and while waiting on the gurney for a Dr. I wandered by one of the OR rooms and observed a brain transplant operation. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was overwhelmed by the moment.

I changed into scrubs and went in and assisted. The primary Surgeon recognized me and allowed me to take over. Boy did it bring back the memories! Blood, sharp instruments, electronic gizmo's. I felt like I was again in Heaven!

I have to admit that while the experience did bring back fond memories, I must admit that it is best I moved on.

Don't feel guilty, enjoy it for what it is, a brief journey back to simpler and maybe happier times.

Regards,

RKT

Whoa....1960's acid flashback!

[DACP]

In 1981 we opened for Metallica at the Waters Club in San Pedro.

we ahh er opend for B.O.C