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Things you DON'T know about Palin

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  • Things you DON'T know about Palin

    Did you know that…

    Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.

    The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.

    The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

    The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.

    Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

    Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.

    It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

    Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

    Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.

    Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

    Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.

    Sarah Palin’s pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.

    Sarah Palin’s son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

    Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone. (X-Men reference)

    Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.

    Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)

    Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

    Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.

    Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.

    Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she’s done making mooseburgers for her kids.

    A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.

    Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

    Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

    Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines. (Terminator reference)

    Three of Sarah Palin’s 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.

    Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.

    Sarah Palin was the original “Deadliest Catch.”

    Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak pelts with a slingshot.

    Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.

    Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

    Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.

    Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.

    Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.

    Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.

    Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.

    Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

    Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.

    Any other Sarah Palin rumors that other people want to start?


    * Thanks to EagleWatch for the posting above
    http://hillbuzz.wordpress.com/

  • #2
    Please have mercy, Taylor.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Taylor13 View Post
      Did you know that…

      Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.

      The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.

      The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

      The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.

      Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

      Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.

      It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

      Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

      Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.

      Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

      Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.

      Sarah Palin’s pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.

      Sarah Palin’s son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

      Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone. (X-Men reference)

      Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.

      Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)

      Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

      Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.

      Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.

      Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she’s done making mooseburgers for her kids.

      A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.

      Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

      Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

      Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines. (Terminator reference)

      Three of Sarah Palin’s 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.

      Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.

      Sarah Palin was the original “Deadliest Catch.”

      Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak pelts with a slingshot.

      Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.

      Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

      Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.

      Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.

      Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.

      Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.

      Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.

      Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

      Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.

      Any other Sarah Palin rumors that other people want to start?


      * Thanks to EagleWatch for the posting above
      http://hillbuzz.wordpress.com/

      What you mean by those words "Actually true" and "rumors"? You post as if something is open to question.

      I watched her sometime back on Glenn Beck, and it was one of the few shows I stayed up past midnight to watch a second time in the same evening. Now, 4 years with McCain, and 8 with Sarah ... maybe 8 with McCain .... We play our cards right, she could be in DC until she's 56 or 60!!!

      "That's right man, we've got mills here that'll blow that heap of your's right off the road."

      "Beautiful Daughter of the Stars."(it's my home now)

      >>>>> A Time for Choosing <<<<<

      Retired @ 31yr 2mo as of 0000 hrs. 01-01-10. Yeah, all in all, it was good.

      Comment


      • #4
        I liked the Tom Brady knock-up one, and the kids born sideways with no flintching.

        And regarding the polar ice caps melting.... did you guys know there was a famous movie line that was written for her???

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tncd84NYJ1Y

        Comment


        • #5
          lol...... nice.
          1*

          Comment


          • #6


            *he wipes the beer off the keyboard*

            Good stuff!

            The All New
            2013
            BBQ and Goldfish Pond Club
            Sully - IAM Rand - JasperST - L1 - The Tick - EmmaPeel - Columbus - LA Dep - SgtSlaughter - OneAdam12 - Retired96 - Iowa #1603
            - M1Garand

            (any BBQ and Goldfish Pond member may nominate another user for membership but just remember ..... this ain't no weenie roast!)



            Comment


            • #7
              I love it. Especially since as an Alaskan I know it's true.

              Comment


              • #8
                Very very funny.
                Dont know why but throwing the bullett at the moose had me really laughing my A... off
                I got nothing for now

                Comment


                • #9
                  This is quality...
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by e-man View Post
                    Very very funny.
                    Dont know why but throwing the bullett at the moose had me really laughing my A... off
                    She just had to do it that way that day because she had a headache. Her normal way of taking down a moose is to put a knife in her teeth and jump on its back. The goal is to kill it and get it field dressed before it hits the ground.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      VERY nice!

                      Getting first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills really got me.
                      "Friendly Fire, isn't"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by t150vsuptpr View Post
                        Now, 4 years with McCain, and 8 with Sarah ... maybe 8 with McCain ....
                        8 with McCain????? he wont live long enough to finish the first 2 years if he wins
                        http://mygiantssearch.swagbucks.com/...ster&rb=255346

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          so we should hope that McCain lasts just over 2 years? Then we could have 10 years of Palin?

                          /tongue in cheek

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            http://www.palinfacts.com/

                            "Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North."

                            Last edited by JTShooter; 09-03-2008, 04:10 PM.
                            “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

                            "You go for a man hard enough and fast enough, he don't have time to think about how many's with him; he thinks about himself, and how he might get clear of that wrath that's about to set down on him."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Just watched her speech. Hate to say it, Mrs. Trooper, but I'm in love with two women now - both of whom can fish, hunt and field dress big game.

                              What a natural! She hit it out of the park.
                              The All New
                              2013
                              BBQ and Goldfish Pond Club
                              Sully - IAM Rand - JasperST - L1 - The Tick - EmmaPeel - Columbus - LA Dep - SgtSlaughter - OneAdam12 - Retired96 - Iowa #1603
                              - M1Garand

                              (any BBQ and Goldfish Pond member may nominate another user for membership but just remember ..... this ain't no weenie roast!)



                              Comment

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