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Messy roommate??? Help me!!!!!


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  • Messy roommate??? Help me!!!!!

    Hey all, as some of you may now I had a pig of a roommate back in college. Well it seems like I know how to pick them, because i found another one. Granted this one IS NOT as bad, but still.

    Here is the deal. We been friends for long time, so I asked him to move in after I bought a house. Just to offset the mortage payments a little more. Especially with my old job and pointing so much money towards gas it helped. But now with me working in town, I don't need as much help and with picking after someone adds more stress.

    He will put dishes into a sick with the dishwasher being empty. He will also put pop cans on endtables right above a garbage. Seriously how easy is it to throw the damn pop can away. He has told me that I have two arms, I should do it myself.

    Just to add, I am in no way a neat person. But I think garbage and plates should be placed where they belong. I have small amounts of paper on tables. But if someone would come over it would take me 5 mins to clean it up.
    So here is my thinking.
    1.) Tell him to clean up.
    2.) Tell him to clean up or else rent will go up.
    3.) Don't say anything and let it be.
    4.) Tell him to shape up or he is gone.

  • #2
    4. Tell him to shape up or be gone

    Whose name is on the title to the house? Yours. He is going to tell YOU that YOU have two arms so you should clean up his mess? That would be the day I would tolerate someone living under MY roof speaking to me that way. He may be paying you rent but YOU own that house. Shape up or get out for sure.


    • #3
      If plates and pop cans are the worst he is doing, consider yourself lucky. Keep in mind, you need to pick your battles.

      Increasing the rent b.c of plates and pop cans is a bit much. Telling him to shape up or he is gone is quite extreme. Why don't you just say tell him in a nice way to start keeping tidy. If not, buy paper plates and use those. Problem solved.
      Your mom...


      • #4
        Originally posted by Christyle View Post
        If plates and pop cans are the worst he is doing, consider yourself lucky. Keep in mind, you need to pick your battles.

        Increasing the rent b.c of plates and pop cans is a bit much. Telling him to shape up or he is gone is quite extreme. Why don't you just say tell him in a nice way to start keeping tidy. If not, buy paper plates and use those. Problem solved.
        Not problem solved with paperplates. He will do the same thing, leave them on the table. I guess I find it disrespectful when someone gives you a good deal on rent. And then they don't pick up after themselves.

        Keep in mind. I have two living rooms. Downstairs is his, the upstairs is my area. However he comes upstairs to watch tv, but I could care less. As long as he keeps his stuff picked up, who cares.


        • #5
          Talk to them about it. If it keeps up. Collect it and put it in a nice pile in their area.
          The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


          • #6
            Yeah, I would definetely, DEFINETELY tell him to shape up or get out. It's your house man, your rules. If he's got a problem with it he can find somewhere else to live! Now the issue here is that you guys are friends. If you think about it though, messiness goes a long way and tells a lot about a person, so A) Do you still want to be friends with this guy? B) Are you going to be able to break the akwardness and tell him that he's a messy guy? Maybe you can break it to him in a joke or something but on a more serious note? Dirty dishes and trash are serious pet peeves of mine. Unfortunately, I have a roommate who NEVER cleans, always leaves soda cans and trash and dishes everywhere; however, it's his place, and at first I started to clean, but then I stopped.

            If you start cleaning after someone they start thinking that you'll do it for them all the time and start getting comfortable. I'm only living there until I get deployed in a few months anyway so I can deal with it. Good luck man.


            • #7
              Originally posted by Monkeybomb View Post
              Talk to them about it. If it keeps up. Collect it and put it in a nice pile in their area.
              Hah...ever seen that one commercial of the guy he bumps into everyday that always left trash on the street? Then one day he piles it all up on top of his car?


              • #8
                I roomed with my cousin. He never took out the trash, always left lights on, would walk around the house in shorts & a t-shirt & then crank up the heat because he was cold, never cleaned, would put dirty dishes in the sink & wait for someone else to wash them out. It got annoying after awhile. I even put up a trash schedule, he never stuck to it & then I would be stuck taking out two weeks worth of trash. I had surgery once & during the 3 weeks I was off work, he never once took the trash down, so there I was, stitches & all half a dozen bags of trash out.

                I finally moved out. I had enough. He then went & told family members how messy I was & how he even put a trash schedule & I never took it out. (I started keeping my trash separate from his trash, so I was taking out mine, not his.) Everyone believed him, that irritated me, but I knew the truth.

                Flash forward 1.5 years & he's back living at home. Talking to him mom the other day, she's complaining how he said he's embarrassed to bring his girlfriend over to the house because of house messy it is. My aunt was like, he never cleans, never does the dishes, doesn't take out the trash, they don't even ask him for rent or utilities payments & he's embarrassed.

                It was my second feeling of vindication for the year! And oh did it feel wonderful!

                My friend gave me a wonderful peace of advice: You probably be poor living by yourself, but its worth it. I've lived alone since then & although I haven't had much disposable income, even had to get a 2nd job, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

                My advice - since you've stated that you don't really as much help money-wise tell the guy you are ready to live by yourself. Give him x amount of time to find a new place & offer to help him if he needs it.
                Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.


                • #9
                  Couple of other things that happened within the last month or so.

                  -There is a bathroom downstairs with the laundry room. Well it was so dirty/nasty that I was so embarrassed of it. I am shocked I didn't have nasty stains on it.

                  -He ran out of toilet paper downstairs, so instead of buying some or taking some out of the closet. He would rather come upstairs to use the bathroom and take a dump, even if it was 2 A.M. So I decided I was to lazy to buy toilet paper also, at least for him. So I actually hide a roll in the bathroom for the girlfriend and I. It actaully took him like a week to even say anything. Then finally he asked, and I said it's your turn to buy it. (He even works at a grocery store.)

                  -He stated one day that he started the dishwasher, and I said something like wow that is like the second time since you moved him. I have had a dishwasher for 4 months.

                  So I am leaning towards to shape up or he is gone. I know we are friends but there is only so far a person can go before they cross the line.


                  • #10
                    I've got a very messy roommate, too.

                    He is someone I consider as one of my best friends, but it is equally frustrating.

                    He can't prepare anything in the kitchen without spilling. I don't know how he does it. He spills juice, lettuce, dressing, spices, coffee, coffee grounds...anything. He has never once wiped up any of his messes. He leaves dirty dishes in the sink. He puts FILTHY dishes in the dishwasher, so, of course, they don't get clean and cause the "clean" dishes to have baked on food. He won't unload the dishwasher. He won't take the initiative to clean the kitchen. If the garbage under the sink is full, he'll place the garbage on the ground next to the can.

                    I've tried talking to him about it, but it just doesn't work. Some people are just naturally messy, and I guess it doesn't bother them.

                    Luckily I have two other roommates who help with the keeping the place manageable.

                    I've lived with him for two years, and this will be the last year. I'll be graduating soon, and even if we end up the same city, I'll live alone. He can be my neighbor.

                    So, your only choice, in my opinion, is to give him an ultimatum. Some people just cannot be clean.


                    • #11
                      You are either going to have to stop caring, or clean it all up yourself, or he is getting out. Because as a messy person myself, he and I just don't care, and in our wildest imagination can not relate to why you would care.

                      Also do not expect him to care if you do all the clean up, and act like you did him a favor, because he does not care, you did it because you wanted to not because he wanted you to, you did not do him a favor.

                      So now the ball is in your court. It's like a mixed marriage of two religions, neither one will ever adpot the religion of the other.


                      • #12
                        I am soooooooooooo glad I didn't get an apartment with my coworker. My place is a studio but I have two corners that have boxes. My place isn't very big but I have a little clutter. I atleast keep my area clean.

                        Thanks for reminding me why I don't want a roommate until I get married.

                        I'd tell him if he doesn't start pulling his weight around the house then get the hell out!
                        "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jackie Robinson

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                        • #13

                          He's being rude by telling you to clean up after him.

                          You're being anal by stressing over stupid crap.

                          Honestly, he doesn't even come CLOSE to being what I would call "messy." Maybe "untidy."

                          Back when I was in college, I was a TRULY messy person and remained so until probably 3yrs ago. When I say "messy", I mean as in you couldn't walk through the house without stepping over stuff, WEEKS worth of laundry on the floor, sink piled HIGH with dishes, etc etc. The fact of the matter is, he ISN'T going to change until he's good and ready for his own reasons. You nagging him won't fix anything.

                          I'm still not what I would call a "neat" person but I'm not a pig anymore either...I do my laundry as soon as I get a full load, wash dishes by hand the minute I finish with them, and clean up anything I spill rather than waiting for later. Everything in my house has a place now, so it's a lot more "tidy" than it used to be. I still don't scrub corners or such though. I sweep maybe twice a week, mop once a week, etc but that's about it.

                          However, the only thing that made me become more clean than I had been was just "growing out of it." As I got older, had nicer things, had company more often, etc etc I started caring a little more.


                          • #14
                            I'm editing my original post because I didn't read it properly. He told you to pick up after him?

                            Out...he is out. 30 day notice

                            The other option is....raise the rent by $200, then get Molly Maids to clean up twice a month.

                            Hope this helps.
                            Last edited by JBean; 08-28-2008, 02:27 AM.


                            • #15
                              He told YOU to do something for HIM in YOUR house? bye!
                              "Friendly Fire, isn't"


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