Agreed, save the socializing for After graduation, never lose sight of Why you’re actually there,………
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Having witnessed the inter-classmate love thing several times, I have my theories why it happens...
Academies are stressful events. Most people quit decent paying jobs before they start so there's an omni-present threat of losing the new job because of a failed exam or not being able do enough sit ups. Add to that week after week of inspections, practical exercises, legal exams, getting barked at for every little mis-step, and graphic exposure to unsettling things, like severe child abuse or dashcam video after dashcam video of a cop getting shot execution style.
People, when under stress, find coping mechanisms to deal with it. Traditional methods like xanax, alcohol and marijuana (I live in a state where the leaf is now legal and last year $1.5 billion was spent on that form of stess relief) are much frowned upon during academies. So people often turn to romance, especially short term romance, as a way to brunt the reality of the situation they're in.
Of the five academies I went through, only the state-run academy said 'don't do it' on Day One. People still did, and while they tried to keep it on the down low, everyone still knew what was going on. It's impossible to hide a secret romance in such a fishbowl.
At the three fed academies, it wasn't the college age kids who were doing the tango, but mostly married thirtysomethings. It was as if they were 18 again, away from their parents for the first time, and they were living in a fantasy world of fast cars, guns, beer, and hot sun on the Georgia beaches. We used to call them 'fletc marriages' because when it was over, back they went to where ever they were from and their real-life spouses. Graduation Day was always a little awkward, as the real spouses would be there, beaming with happiness and pride, completely unaware of what every classmate knew about their cheating partner.
In addition to unspoken judgement from classmates, knockin' boots also causes jealousy. Humans don't like it when others get something they aren't getting, especially something primal and lizard brain. Add to the equation a healthy amount of testosterone and the constant pecking order competition of who's the most Alpha of the pack, it can cause unnecessary tension. Group dynamics are integral to the academy experience, and giving Cupid a target for his arrow almost always upsets the equilibrium.
Maybe in big agencies, where you can spend your entire career not seeing a fellow classmate, academy dalliances are mostly forgotten. But in small outfits, people remember and the gossip continues for many years and gets shared with those who weren't even there.
Never dip your pen in company ink. Don't poop in your own nest. Don't get high on your own supply. On and on. All are very true idioms that apply.
Do what you gotta do- have a hook up with a rando from the bar, watch favorite dirty movies with your phone in one hand and a dirty sock in the other, or take a warm shower with yer favorite bar of soap. Just don't get freaky with academy classmates because the cost is bigger than you think....👍 2Comment
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Even when it works out it doesn’t usually work out.. I slightly know two people who were academy classmates from neighboring agencies. They started dating at the academy, moved in together afterwards for about a year, then got married. The marriage lasted six months. Now they are bitter with each other over whatever happened.
I don’t know what happened to cause the breakup, I just know it happened.
I do know the academy is an artificial environment, with artificial demands, and artificial sense of comradery. What seems to work there doesn’t necessarily transfer to the real world."I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.
"With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet👍 2Comment
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Don’t be afraid to lean on classmates in areas you may struggle with. Ego has no place here and you learn that early on. The goal is to graduate, not care what others may think.
Also, all other advice holds true. Run till you can’t anymore, then run some more. I hate running but I love watching my endurance improve and recovery times drop.
I recommended also reading through the other forum topics here giving advice to rookies. Those have helped me out a lot in scenarios.
the academy is just as tough as I thought but reading about it and going through it are two different things. From barely getting sleep multiple times a week from night qual and night driving and going right into PT, it can be rough. But man, it’s fun.👍 1Comment
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