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Almost done...new perspective on life...

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  • Almost done...new perspective on life...

    Well, i am almost done with the academy. I have been going part time at night, and have been in for almost 10 months. It has been one hell of a ride. I have gone from not being very family oriented, to semi-family oriented. Ihave gone from having a girlfriend (one that i thought was the one) to not having one. She did not like the fact that i was never home. Anyways, I have a new look now because i have learned so much about LE and myself. Not having someone who i thought I was going to marry anymore has opened my life up to new opportunites in LE by being able to move anywhere now. So basically i just wanted to say thanks to all the people on here, this forum has been a great help for me in the past 10 months. Thanks!

  • #2
    I haven't started the Academy yet, but will be in a couple of days. I have a significant other that I am quite serious about. Do you mind telling me how things turned around. Just curious because there was a couple of times where I wanted to just break up with her because I assume things would start going sour after I dedicate my life to the Police Academy. Last thing I need is more stress in my personal life, Haha. I'm glad your life has turned for the better though! You don't have to respond to my questions if it's too personal.

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    • #3
      After 6 months full time me and my fiance are still together. It was hard but not impossible the big thing is communication and realizing that you need to take a break from the academy while your in it and just relax with that other person. You can go through the academy and still have fun with your spouse or other half. Encourage them to learn with you and help you out that way your both involved in your police academy work.

      If shes the one shes the one just remember that.

      Best of luck to both of you stay safe out there.

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      • #4
        Well to start out my situation may be a little different. My ex was from NY and i am born and raised in Florida and her ideal life is back up in NY. She moved down here to teach and does not like it down here. She wants to be up there and i am a Florida boy. I threw around the idea of possible moving up there, but realized i wanted a career down here. I even went up to NY and took the exam for NYPD. But at the end realized this is where i want to be. With that said, the biggest problem with us was the part-time academy. I go to work all day and go to the academy at night. So i am gone all day. I would get home and be blasted so i wouldn't really want to hang out or talk too much (which is on me) because i should have made time for her. She relied on me to make her happy all the time, which i couldn't do because i was never home. We were pretty serious, talked about getting married, and stuff. Once i started the academy, things started turning for the worse. Some times i would come home grumpy and just would not want to talk or anything, and she would think it was because of her, but really it was the fact that i got "shot" on a traffic stop or in some other scenario where i screwed up. She would always say the academy is changing me. Also, she was not particularly keen on my choice of career. That may have been another big thing that helped in the breaking up. But i always told her that i would do everything in my power to protect myself and my partners. So the best thing is def. communication. We broke up about 4 months into the academy. If you are going to be with someone they have to know this is what you want and have to realize that you are going to dedicate your life to it. I do not think she was ready for me to dedicate my life to LE. She always said she "needed" me and if anything happened to me it would kill her. So, i think the combination of me being never home and her not really liking my career path contributed. Hope this helped a little bit, and good luck to you. It is a tough road, but like JOE said, if it is the ONE, she will accept and support you in everything you do. Who knows, if we are really meant to be, one day it may work out with us, but i wish you the best through the academy.

        Good luck and stay safe!

        Russ
        Last edited by Russ24; 03-21-2011, 11:01 AM.

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        • #5
          You do and will change. Sometimes not for the better. Sometimes. Don't forget that there is more to life than this job. I love it, and would do nothing else with my life. But there is more to life. Enjoy your friends and family. Make some friends outside of the community. Nothing wrong with being gung ho and excited, especially right out of the academy. But I've had to threaten to take one of my rookie's radios away from him because he was staying up all night on his nights off listening to the other shift's calls.

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          • #6
            Just a thought... I was married about a year or two before I went into the acedemy. I told my wife that she would always come before the job, if it ever became a choice between the two that I'd leave police work without hesitation. I feel the same way today and would leave this job in a heart beat if it meant saving the relationship. Now, after saying that I wouldn't be where I am at today without her full, unconditional love and support for the last several years.

            Being a cop is more than an occupation, it's a way of life. Many people can't understand or live it. Your significant other has to be on board 100% or you're relationship is doomed for failure. If you already know the job is more important than so-and-so then she's probably not that important or you may just need to rethink your priorities.

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            • #7
              i absolutely agree...she was the most important thing in my life...it was just my fault because i guess i did not show it enough...but i have learned...we still talk so who knows...but i have learned you def. have to make time for your significant other and that they are most important before anything...lesson learned!

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