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  • #1

    Comments to Highway patrol...

    Not sure I should actually give the name of the guy who wrote this, so I'll just say that '[email protected]' is how he signed the email.
    • "Wow, I thought I was going at least double that."
    • "Wow, you actually managed to overtake me!"
    • "I think I need a cigarette. Was it good for you?"
    • "You saw that? Tell me, how awesome was it from your point of view? Because from where I was, on a scale of 1 to awesome, it was *xxxxx* AWESOME."
    • "Did you get me on camera? I want to upload it on Youtube."
    • "Well, you're certainly hotter than I thought you would be. Ma'am."
    • "Well, you're certainly hotter than I thought you would be. Sir."
    • "Damn, there's no way I'm ****ing my way out of this one."
    • "License and registration? What are you talking about? I don't understand."
    • "I didn't think you'd actually manage to make the jump back in that parking garage. Congratulations on some *phenomenal* driving. Best I've seen in ages."
    • "Ok, before you ask, I can explain about the blood/drugs/etc."
    • "Man, have you ever seen anyone do a move that sick before? Be honest.
    • In all your years of patrolling, am I the best?"
    • "I bet you didn't think I was going to go _backwards_ after that 180. Cops *never* expect a motorcycle to go backwards."
    • "Dude, the only reason you caught me is because my aim was so bad. But I'd like to see you try shooting behind you while riding a motorcycle."
    • "That was fun, wasn't it?"
    • "At least I tried to make it interesting. You must hate it when people just lamely pull over and don't even try to make it challenging."
    • "Dammit. I knew I should have run down that old lady. Going up on the sidewalk to avoid her just slowed me down."
    • "I'm going to have to ask you to speak veeeerrry slowly, Officer. I am really, really, really xxx high right now. I don't even know what I'm on. All I know is without it, what you just witnessed wouldn't have been possible."
    • "Let's do that again! But this time, I want to see you catch me when we're *both* on two-wheels."
    • "Oh, you're [badgenamehere]. Great. I've heard you're a real hardass."
    • "What do you want? I already bought tickets to your stupid ball or gala or whatever. Make it fast, I don't have time to chat."
    • "Can we make this quick? I have to take a HUGE dump."
    • "Wow, I haven't seen you since I left you at the altar. How ya been?"
    • "C'mon, Mom. Do you have to do this to me? Here? Everyone is staring at us!"
    • "I don't want to alarm you, Officer, but I think this is a bad place
    • to stop." *looks around warily* "This is bat country."
    • "Hold on, hold on. I just want to hear the end of this solo." *turns radio up*
    • "I'm just glad you didn't see me 20 minutes ago."
    • "I don't usually get pulled over for that."
    • "You can give me all the tickets you want, officer. I don't have the
      money to pay *any* of them."
    • "I bet you look good with your hair down."
    • "$20 says I can make you smile before we're done here. A hundred bucks
      I can make you laugh." *proceeds to read off this list*
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Things I will NEVER say to Florida Highway Patrol.
    WadsonF 10-4's the above statement.

    Comment

    • #3
      Ive actually tried the last one. Worked too! But the guy never paid me! BASTARD!!! (J/K about the bastard part)
      The Red, Bold, Italic is my official sarcasm tag.



      "I think many years ago an advanced civilization intervened with us genetically and gave us just enough intelligence to develop dangerous technology but not enough to use it wisely. Then they sat back to watch the fun. Kind of like a human zoo. And you know what? They're getting their money's worth"
      George Carlin

      Comment

      • #4
        cmr164: you're probably aware that most motorcycles don't have a reverse gear.

        Tucker6900: great George Carlin quote -- RIP.

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by Monty Ealerman View Post
          cmr164: you're probably aware that most motorcycles don't have a reverse gear.

          Tucker6900: great George Carlin quote -- RIP.
          Great man with a great vision of what the world really was.
          The Red, Bold, Italic is my official sarcasm tag.



          "I think many years ago an advanced civilization intervened with us genetically and gave us just enough intelligence to develop dangerous technology but not enough to use it wisely. Then they sat back to watch the fun. Kind of like a human zoo. And you know what? They're getting their money's worth"
          George Carlin

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by Monty Ealerman View Post
            cmr164: you're probably aware that most motorcycles don't have a reverse gear.
            Sure they do. Pull clutch and engage feet.

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by Monty Ealerman View Post
              cmr164: you're probably aware that most motorcycles don't have a reverse gear.
              Sorry Monty, there is a motorbike that does or did have a reverse gear fitted - Honda had them fitted to the Goldwing at one time (Can't remember year/ model). It was meant to be an aid to parking due to the bikes' bulk and weight and it could only be engaged with the engine off and gearbox in neutral. I believe that the starter motor pinion gear was able to engage a reverse gear cog in the gearbox.
              If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence of your attempt.

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Bushranger View Post
                Sorry Monty, there is a motorbike that does or did have a reverse gear fitted - Honda had them fitted to the Goldwing at one time (Can't remember year/ model). It was meant to be an aid to parking due to the bikes' bulk and weight and it could only be engaged with the engine off and gearbox in neutral. I believe that the starter motor pinion gear was able to engage a reverse gear cog in the gearbox.
                1989 and up.
                "That's right man, we've got mills here that'll blow that heap of your's right off the road."

                "Beautiful Daughter of the Stars."(it's my home now)

                >>>>> A Time for Choosing <<<<<

                Retired @ 31yr 2mo as of 0000 hrs. 01-01-10. Yeah, all in all, it was good.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by Bushranger View Post
                  Sorry Monty, there is a motorbike that does or did have a reverse gear fitted - Honda had them fitted to the Goldwing at one time (Can't remember year/ model). It was meant to be an aid to parking due to the bikes' bulk and weight and it could only be engaged with the engine off and gearbox in neutral. I believe that the starter motor pinion gear was able to engage a reverse gear cog in the gearbox.
                  I was told by an older-timer than me that the old Indians had a reverse.
                  http://www.badgeoflife.com/

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Bushranger: Why "Sorry Monty"? I remember the Gold Wing Hondas. Some of them not only had a reverse gear, but had automatic ("Hondamatic") transmissions, too. I said "most motorcycles dont have ..." not, "no ...". And again, as you're almost certainly aware, most motorcycles don't have a reverse gear.

                    cmr164: Yeah, I like the Fred Flintstone method too, especially on gravel.

                    CHP7016: Some of them had a reverse gear. Wouldn't you love to have got to haul bad guys to the pokey in this (which did have a reverse gear): http://motorcyclemuseum.org/classics/bike.asp?id=74
                    Last edited by Monty Ealerman; 07-23-2008, 02:18 AM.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Tucker6900 View Post
                      Great man with a great vision of what the world really was.
                      I severely respect, the, alas recently departed, comedic commentator, George Carlin, as one of the greatest and most prophetic smartyheck curmudgeons ever, and I think anything I can say won't do justice to him. I was just listening recently in reminiscence to some of the stuff he did in his youth, and I kept laughing until I had to walk away from the speakers. God please bless him even if he maybe got on your case now and then.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        No, GoldWings to date have never had Automatic transmissions.

                        There were some Honda motorcycles with the Hondamatic Automatic, but they were much smaller than a GoldWing.

                        GoldWings are still being built BTW, it's an 1800 now with 5 speed and reverse (and optional ABS and airbag). First GoldWing was 1000 in 1975, then it grew to 1100, 1200, 1500, 1800.

                        George Carlin? May he RIP, but I couldn't stand him.
                        Last edited by t150vsuptpr; 07-23-2008, 10:47 AM.
                        "That's right man, we've got mills here that'll blow that heap of your's right off the road."

                        "Beautiful Daughter of the Stars."(it's my home now)

                        >>>>> A Time for Choosing <<<<<

                        Retired @ 31yr 2mo as of 0000 hrs. 01-01-10. Yeah, all in all, it was good.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by t150vsuptpr View Post
                          No, GoldWings to date have never had Automatic transmissions.

                          There were some Honda motorcycles with the Hondamatic Automatic, but they were much smaller than a GoldWing.

                          GoldWings are still being built BTW, it's an 1800 now with 5 speed and reverse (and optional ABS and airbag). First GoldWing was 1000 in 1975, then it grew to 1100, 1200, 1500, 1800.

                          George Carlin? May he RIP, but I couldn't stand him.
                          For what it's worth, I checked. You're right. But you knew that already. The CB750 had some body parts that were the same as some of those of the GL1000 Gold Wing, but the Gold Wing never had the Hondamatic transmission.

                          As for George Carlin, nice of you for the RIP, and I'm sure you understand that making people unable to stand him was a byproduct of his social critic comedian job.

                          Regards,

                          Monty

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            "I don't want to alarm you, Officer, but I think this is a bad place
                            to stop." *looks around warily* "This is bat country."
                            LMFAO!!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              I only had one, officer Beers.

                              Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

                              Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

                              You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

                              Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

                              Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

                              I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

                              Didn't I see you get beat up on Cops?

                              So, uh, you on the take, or what?

                              I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other
                              car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

                              Comment

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