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Neil Smith, Ebonics, and the NFL
Former NFL linesman Neil Smith is now doing commentary for the Kansas City Chiefs on their local Channel 5. Here are just a few of his overviews.
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"I think Dick Vermeil said it best. This team is now jilling toward each other."
-- Neil Smith, who said "jilling" not "jelling."
"Actually this guy [Troy Brown] had a perceptional year today. ... I think he went 10 for 10 or 12 for 12. ... His completion percentage was great."
-- Smith, on a Patriots wide receiver.
"We having very, very much problems right up the center of our defense. ... That's a lot of balls that he do underthrow that he shouldn't. ... McGloski (Mike Maslowski) picked off this ball here but McGloski, please, whatever you do, don't let an offensive lineman catch you!"
-- Smith trying on Mike Maslowski.
"This guy is just tremendously. He's got a lot of more football left this season."
-- Smith, on Priest Holmes.
"I'll tell you, you cannot have Masnowski run with Shannon Sharpe. You just can't do that. That's like an offensive lineman running with a tight end. We just have to do a better job of getting those safeties to [Sharpe] and not leaving Maslowsli to run with Shannon Sharpe for 80 yards."
-- Smith, on his favorite Polish American.
"The Denver defense has been outstanding against players but they haven't played against [Holmes]. This guy is inceptional because he's got so many things he can do to hurt your defense."
-- Smith on Holmes.
"Only thing he do is he go along the line of scrimmage and no one untouched him."
-- Smith, on the Broncos' Keith Burns blocking a punt.
"I don't know if this is Mixnutchzki or perhaps Glenn Cadrez ..."
-- Smith, again attempting to identify Maslowski.
"In Denver, they going to use [the scoreboard] to get the Broncos fired up. They going to actually pronounce the scores [of other games] and what quarter it is so they will know today [if the Raiders and Chargers win or lose]."
-- Smith, mixing prefixes.
"Everything knows that you have to score pernts [points] in order to win the ballgame. If the Chiefs can score 30 or more pernts, they can win this ballgame."
-- Smith, perhaps thinking of Pert shampoo.
"I've never known Mike Shanahan to leach out at a player."
-- Smith, when asked about Shanahan's angry response to a Trevor Pryce comment.
"I think it does effect you when you there. I was there for two years and it took me about that long to get aptitude to it."
-- Smith, on the altitude in Denver.
"Well, what it did, is the Chiefs actually brought eight in the box. So they actually have more than they need. As you see, McNowski right here takes the inside charge and beats his guy to the snap."
-- Smith, on that guy, who is now Irish.
"They don't care who you are. If you don't be on the plane at a certain time when you supposed to, they will leave you on the dot. And you will have to find your way to Seattle to try to get a plane that day to beat us to get to the play on tomorrow."
-- Smith, trying to explain how much emphasis Marty Schottenheimer places on his players' promptness.
"I think the biggest responsibility is when you lose Tony Richardson. He's pretty much the focus of the running game. I think that was a big, big hurt."
-- Smith, who apparently forgot that Holmes was the focus of the Chiefs running game
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HUH???
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"I think Dick Vermeil said it best. This team is now jilling toward each other."
-- Neil Smith, who said "jilling" not "jelling."
"Actually this guy [Troy Brown] had a perceptional year today. ... I think he went 10 for 10 or 12 for 12. ... His completion percentage was great."
-- Smith, on a Patriots wide receiver.
"We having very, very much problems right up the center of our defense. ... That's a lot of balls that he do underthrow that he shouldn't. ... McGloski (Mike Maslowski) picked off this ball here but McGloski, please, whatever you do, don't let an offensive lineman catch you!"
-- Smith trying on Mike Maslowski.
"This guy is just tremendously. He's got a lot of more football left this season."
-- Smith, on Priest Holmes.
"I'll tell you, you cannot have Masnowski run with Shannon Sharpe. You just can't do that. That's like an offensive lineman running with a tight end. We just have to do a better job of getting those safeties to [Sharpe] and not leaving Maslowsli to run with Shannon Sharpe for 80 yards."
-- Smith, on his favorite Polish American.
"The Denver defense has been outstanding against players but they haven't played against [Holmes]. This guy is inceptional because he's got so many things he can do to hurt your defense."
-- Smith on Holmes.
"Only thing he do is he go along the line of scrimmage and no one untouched him."
-- Smith, on the Broncos' Keith Burns blocking a punt.
"I don't know if this is Mixnutchzki or perhaps Glenn Cadrez ..."
-- Smith, again attempting to identify Maslowski.
"In Denver, they going to use [the scoreboard] to get the Broncos fired up. They going to actually pronounce the scores [of other games] and what quarter it is so they will know today [if the Raiders and Chargers win or lose]."
-- Smith, mixing prefixes.
"Everything knows that you have to score pernts [points] in order to win the ballgame. If the Chiefs can score 30 or more pernts, they can win this ballgame."
-- Smith, perhaps thinking of Pert shampoo.
"I've never known Mike Shanahan to leach out at a player."
-- Smith, when asked about Shanahan's angry response to a Trevor Pryce comment.
"I think it does effect you when you there. I was there for two years and it took me about that long to get aptitude to it."
-- Smith, on the altitude in Denver.
"Well, what it did, is the Chiefs actually brought eight in the box. So they actually have more than they need. As you see, McNowski right here takes the inside charge and beats his guy to the snap."
-- Smith, on that guy, who is now Irish.
"They don't care who you are. If you don't be on the plane at a certain time when you supposed to, they will leave you on the dot. And you will have to find your way to Seattle to try to get a plane that day to beat us to get to the play on tomorrow."
-- Smith, trying to explain how much emphasis Marty Schottenheimer places on his players' promptness.
"I think the biggest responsibility is when you lose Tony Richardson. He's pretty much the focus of the running game. I think that was a big, big hurt."
-- Smith, who apparently forgot that Holmes was the focus of the Chiefs running game
------------------------------------------------
HUH???
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