Leader

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dogs and Men

Collapse

300x250 Mobile

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Dogs and Men

    How Dogs and Men Are the Same

    1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
    2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
    3. Both mark their territory.
    4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
    5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
    6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
    7. Neither does any dishes.
    8. Both fart shamelessly.
    9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
    10. Both like dominance games.
    11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
    12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

    How Dogs Are Better Than Men

    1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
    2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
    3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
    4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
    5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
    6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
    7. You can train a dog.
    8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
    9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
    10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
    11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

    [ 01-16-2003, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Code Kodi ]
    "I pity da foo. Stop yo jibba jabba!!"

  • #2
    And your point is..........?

    [ 01-16-2003, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: Chief Wiggum ]
    Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

    Comment


    • #3
      SHE doesn't need one....LOL
      "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
      -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

      Comment


      • #4
        quote:
        Originally posted by Code Kodi:
        How Dogs and Men Are the Same
        11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

        Yeah...they are saying...I just drank out of the toilet bowl and then I thought of you!

        Comment


        • #5
          I would never give my dog water from the toilet bowl, it can't even reach the toilet bowl for water....
          "I pity da foo. Stop yo jibba jabba!!"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Para 2 Sentence #1.....So thats why they **** on your feet. Because they really really like you?.. I bet when they try and hump your leg they're in love with you, right?.. Would that be a male dog or a female dog that youre bragging about?
            dilligaff

            Comment


            • #7
              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              11. Both are suspicious of the postman.

              You mean that evil ba**ard that delivers BILLS all the time, WHO wouldn't be suspicious!

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

              Vacuum cleaning sucks! And the fear is perfectly rational.

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.

              That is because we know that the female species doesn't like to be dumped on. [Eek!] Also, because chances are, You do NOT want to know!

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

              That's a normal response to being low in the food-chain. And because we're afraid of getting our butt kicked by a girl in front of other guys. [Eek!]

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

              That's because you are beutiful reguardless of your hair style.
              Also because we don't care...

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.

              Rambling about killing the guy that looked at you wasn't clear enough? [Eek!] Why should we admit anything when there is a chance we might get away with it?

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

              Is that why you females call us jerks, just because you turn around and we're not there anymore?

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              8. Dogs are easy to buy for.

              Weights, beer, Cell-Tech, Playboy, etc... - How can you go wrong?

              quote:
              Originally posted by Code Kodi:
              10. Dogs understand what "no" means.

              "10. Both like dominance games." - See! This is us trying to teach you how to train us! Get that mastered and just like a dog we'll have no idea what "no" means except "Do what you're told or else"
              All of god's creatures are entitled to live without fear of "gun violence" except for you and your family. - <a href="http://www.handguncontrolinc.org/selfdefense_quiz.htm" target="_blank">Source</a>

              Comment


              • #8
                Why Dogs are Better than Women (taken off the Internet):

                Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo or hairbrush.
                Dogs think you sing great.
                A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
                Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late.
                The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
                Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
                Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
                Dogs are excited by rough play.
                Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
                Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
                Anyone can get a good looking dog.
                If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
                Dogs don't shop.
                Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
                Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
                A dog's parents never visit.
                Dogs love long car trips.
                Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
                When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
                Dogs like beer.
                Dogs don't hate their bodies.
                Dogs don't have to spend holidays and vacations with their parents.
                Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
                Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
                Dogs don't need 900 pairs of shoes.
                Dogs never expect gifts.
                Dogs never worry about germs.
                Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had.
                Dogs don't let magazine articles run their lives.
                You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
                Dogs have no use for flowers, jewelry or cards.
                Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
                Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
                Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
                Dogs seldom outlive you.
                Dogs can't talk back.
                When you're traveling, dogs don't need restrooms.
                Dogs don't criticize.
                Dogs listen without interrupting.
                Dogs don't mind if the house isn't painted, the lawn mowed, or car washed.

                A few that I'd like to add:

                Dogs think it's perfectly normal to have to share a man's attention with a TV, or with a computer.
                Dogs like it when men drool. They don't care if it's because they just downloaded something off the Internet.
                Dogs don't ask if that outfit makes them look fat.

                [ 01-16-2003, 08:19 PM: Message edited by: Sig220Man ]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Read my signature to my post.
                  Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh... Oh... I know you di-int!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dogs dont roll their eyes either!

                      [ 01-18-2003, 04:11 AM: Message edited by: SpecOpsWarrior ]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        quote:
                        1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

                        'Nuff said on that one...

                        quote:
                        10. Both like dominance games.

                        I would have to say that both like games, period.

                        quote:
                        3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.

                        Men, on the other hand, deny...deny....deny. And, if that doesn't work, attack...attack...attack.

                        Another one to add to Why Dogs are better than Men:

                        Dogs are loyal.

                        Comment

                        MR300x250 Tablet

                        Collapse

                        What's Going On

                        Collapse

                        There are currently 3625 users online. 241 members and 3384 guests.

                        Most users ever online was 158,966 at 04:57 AM on 01-16-2021.

                        Welcome Ad

                        Collapse
                        Working...
                        X