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  • Bureaucratic Advice

    What is your best piece of bureaucratic survival advice? Have a little fun with this one
    Smile and Wait for Flash

  • #2
    Sometimes, the squeaky wheel gets replaced.
    Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere

    Comment


    • #3
      Pucker up Buttercup?
      The proper drinking of Scotch whisky is more than indulgence: it is a toast to civilization, a tribute to the continuity of culture, a manifesto of man’s determination to use the resources of nature to refresh mind and body and enjoy to the full the senses with which he has been endowed

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      • #4
        Keep your head down, your mouth shut, and try to get the brass to forget you exist.

        Works wonders.

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        • #5
          You can only be criticized if you DO Something.
          -----------------------------------
          Your favorite phrase will become " We can't do THAT."
          ----------------------------
          Give any critical issue to:
          A committee
          a consultant
          a subordinate

          That way, you have someone to blame for future decisions
          -------------------------------------------------

          Comment


          • #6
            1. You can't be held responsible if they don't tell you.
            2. Denial, burden of proof, remorse. (I did get the report in on time. What? The Chief saw me put it in his tray?? Oh, I remember now, you're right. I'm reaaaaly sorry).
            3. Don't internalize their insanity.
            4. Their problem isn't your disaster. Or shouldn't be.
            Three Stripes beats Four Aces.
            Retirement: You've Won the War when you're Paid to Stay at Home.

            Comment


            • #7

              Two basic rules:
              1. If someone unfamiliar comes into your office and they seem to be important, then just do your best to look busy.

              2. If you are unable to d***le them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullsh*t.

              The comments above reflect my personal opinion as a private citizen, ordinary motorist and all-around good guy.

              The aforementioned advice should not be construed to represent any type of professional opinion, legal counsel or other type of instruction with regard to traffic laws, judicial proceedings or official agency policy.

              ------------------------------------------------

              "Ignorance on fire is hotter than knowledge on ice."

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              • #8
                Originally posted by jakflak View Post
                Keep your head down, your mouth shut, and try to get the brass to forget you exist.

                Works wonders.
                ++ 10000
                ‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’
                Oscar Wilde

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                • #9
                  When in doubt, keep your mouth shut. And with alot of departments, you'll always be in doubt

                  Never talk crap about other Officers, Sergeants, brass, etc etc. Somehow word will inevitably get back to them. Six degrees of seperation and all that

                  Don't throw other folks under the bus. Supervisors know who the troublemakers are and they don't need you to try to point out the obvious. This tends to make them not like you.

                  Invest in really comfortable knee pads
                  I disaprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. -Voltaire

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                  • #10
                    Its easier to ask for forgiveness then to beg for permission.
                    \

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      1. Perception is reality.
                      2. Nothing is certain until after it has happened;. This does not apply to anyone with the keys to the filing cabinets.
                      3. Experience and treachery will always win over youth and skill.
                      4. Never hire or promote anyone smarter or more honest than you are.
                      Tim Dees, now writing as a plain old forum member, his superpowers lost to an encounter with gold kryptonite.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by 1oldsarge View Post
                        1. You can't be held responsible if they don't tell you.
                        You must work in a wonderful department. I get in trouble all the time for changed policies that never got announced outside of the closed door meeting they were created in.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Tim Dees View Post
                          1. Perception is reality.
                          2. Nothing is certain until after it has happened;. This does not apply to anyone with the keys to the filing cabinets.
                          3. Experience and treachery will always win over youth and skill.
                          4. Never hire or promote anyone smarter or more honest than you are.
                          I've been dinged in evals for #1.

                          Citizen: "That officer was rude during my traffic stop."
                          Supervisor: "Did he use foul language, scream or otherwise demean you, violate policy or state law?"
                          Citizen: "No, but he just seemed rude."
                          Supervisor: "Okay, sign this complaint form."
                          Those who are successful at what they do don't give a rip about what others think about them.

                          We don't rent pigs.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jakflak View Post
                            You must work in a wonderful department. I get in trouble all the time for changed policies that never got announced outside of the closed door meeting they were created in.
                            The brass had a great way of going around the Sgt's to the Deputys to have them do things. If they didn't bother to tell me, I didn't bother to care.
                            Three Stripes beats Four Aces.
                            Retirement: You've Won the War when you're Paid to Stay at Home.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by 1oldsarge View Post
                              If they didn't bother to tell me, I didn't bother to care.
                              That, right there, should be included in the list!!

                              And I have one also - If it's not in writing, it doesn't exist. Can't get dinged without proof....then again......

                              Comment

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