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  • #16
    I was simply taking offense to the tone and wording of MPDs post. Of course, there are a variety of reasons why children fabricate stories. One of my patients kept claiming she was "abused", because she had to clean the bathroom (and perform other chores), when she got home from school.

    My point is that child sexual abuse is a very serious claim. I object to the the use of the term "a pain in the butt", when refering to questioning children on this sensitive issue, and the overly- simplistic looking for "straight answers".

    Obviously, I believe that a compassionate, neutral approach to any claim must be taken. A childs story can be heavily influenced by a parent/ teacher/ therapist/ law enforcement official, who has already made up their mind about what they want to hear! A child who makes these allegations must recieve a thorough medical and psychiatric examination, and evaluation.

    Most children are afraid to make the claim, out of fear, and loyalty. Hence a large portion go unreported. Most children who report abuse have a history of being disbelieved by parents, etc...

    I just think that's a crying shame.




    [This message has been edited by blondie72 (edited 05-23-2001).]
    [email protected] "Where there is love, there is no imposition"- Albert Einstien.

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    • #17
      Several times, my huband and I have tried to help children who seem to need it. We learned real quick like what con-artists some of them are. Now, if a teenager says thay need help, SURE, you can stay with us. But you will go to school, you will help clean the house and mow the yard and you will keep your grades up. Haven't had any ask for help for a long time!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Don:
        Blondie,
        I had one little girl (age ten) tell her teacher that she was pregnant, on the first day of school. The father was allegedly her brother. Full investigation. No physical evidence of sexual contact. Next year, same thing, only now, the alleged father was a neighbor. Again, no physical evidence. This went on for several years. Every year at the beginning of the school year, she would be "pregnant" and each time she named a different "father."

        She was looking for the attention.
        Don, I'm curious about why she would come up with the same story every year. Did she lack imagination? Or did she "forget" she'd already tried that story? Some people have trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality. It almost sounds like a joking matter, but it's not. That "image" could be stuck in her mind and she may think it's real, or be confused about whether it was real or not. Not that it matters as far as the point you were making goes, but it just struck me as odd that an attention-seeker wouldn't change her story when no one was buying it.

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        • #19
          My ex-daughter-in-law used to accuse her step-father, then her father, of molesting her. She would accuse then recant o they finally chose not to believe her.This was a huge red flag to me and I tried to reason with my son but he was "in love". It's a long story and I won't bore you with the details. But, they are now divorced after less then a year of marriage, after my son caught her with a male co-worker at his house. To say all this was devastating is putting it mildly, especially since my son has on-going problems from a benign brain tumor.
          But, what he has found out since has been even more horrible. It seems his sweet little wife had been making the rounds before, during and after their marriage. She just lost her job in total humiliation after being caught having oral sex in the parking lot.
          This sweet, beautiful girl has become the town slut and the laughing stock of where she used to work, where our son still works.
          And I know it was because she probably WAS molested by her father and/or her step-father. She made a strange comment to me about hating living with her Dad because she had to be "like his wife". I asked her what she meant and she said,"Oh, well, I took care of the check book and stuff". Then, she blushed bright red.
          I knew then the poor child had been molested. I tried to help her but she's not at the point she would accept it. But, it does go to show you what happens to kids if you don't keep your eyes and ears open.

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          • #20
            Sandy, you have brought up a very good point.

            Hopefully, this child would have recieved a psychiatric evaluation, as part of the investigation into the sexual abuse allegation. If these stories were a fabrication, one would then ask 'why' this young child would repeatedly make this lie. In combination with other symptoms, repeated or excessive lying can be indicative of a psychiatric disorder in a child.

            [email protected] "Where there is love, there is no imposition"- Albert Einstien.

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            • #21
              Sandy and Blondie,

              This kid had problems all right. She was a chronic liar, a cheater in school, and a thief (shoplifter that I know about, God only knows what I never found out.)

              To put it in professional psychiatric terms, she was a flake!

              The whole family were substance abusers. In that time and place, CPS was a joke. To try to get a kid removed from a home was damn near impossible even where there was physical/sexual abuse. I fought this for years. It was still that way when I left that county and went to work for another one.

              ------------------
              "Don't teach in German, then test in Japanese!"
              6P1 (retired)
              6P1 (retired)

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              • #22
                When David was in third grade, I went over for a special play they were having. I have a very keen sense of smell and I kept smelling this awful odor. There, not in the play, sitting all by himself, was the saddest little boy I had ever seen. He was so dirty. His clothes were much too smsll for him and you could tell he had wet them. It had been awhile since he had a bath. He didn't even have socks on, just filthy sneakers with holes him them, much too big for him.
                I looked at my son, so bright and happy, clean and smiling. Then, I looked at this sad case of abuse and got tears in my eyes.
                He was eventually removed from his home and put in foster care.
                And guess who was valedictorian of my sons high school class? This "little" boy! He had grown strong and handsome, basking in someones love. I was SO thrilled when I saw him, I cried again.
                There are success stories!

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                • #23
                  Neat story Mitzi.
                  On an earlier note, I had a partner that was accused of raping a girl off duty on a date. He claimed he was innocent, but he cracked under the pressure and resigned from the department. No formal charges were ever brought. Come to find out later that the girl accused a cop up north of a similar offense the year prior. That case was not founded either. This cop will not realistically be able to crawl out from under the stigma (or at least the inner trauma) that was caused as a result. There have been several of these type cases against cops. I think that if these cases are proven to be unfounded because of an outright lie, that the accuser should be hanged by the neck until dead. Mean it, won't take it back.

                  [This message has been edited by goodside (edited 05-25-2001).]

                  [This message has been edited by goodside (edited 05-25-2001).]

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                  • #24
                    I totally agree. I posted a post awhile back about a friend of ours who was accused by a female trainer (he was the baseball coach at a high school) of making sexual advances. At first, it did look bad. He was told if he would resign, they would drop all charges. Wanting to spare his family the publicity, he resigned and then was arrested as he left the principal's office. Having handcuffs put on him in full view of students seemed to do the most damage.
                    This resulted in a suicide attempt, weeks in the hospital and the readmittance back into the hospital later. Of course, it was not printed on the front page that the girl later recanted her story.
                    Our friend will never be the same. He does not have the strength or werewithall to fight this and get his job back. It's so so sad and I expect a successful suicide attempt somewhere int he future. He practically has to be babysitted now, his breakdown was so bad.
                    It's just sickening.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Goodside:
                      I think that if these cases are proven to be unfounded because of an outright lie, that the accuser should be hanged by the neck until dead. Mean it, won't take it back.
                      An aquaintance of mine in the UK, a very well- respected psychiatrist; was accused of raping one of his patients, while she was under hypnosis. No evidence could be found, and the charges were dropped- but the claim still destroyed this mans career; and his family life. His accuser was a very disturbed woman, and she had made this type of claim before. As an adult (even taking into account her mental illness), she should be held responsible for her actions, to a certain extent.

                      However, when we are talking about children who fabricate claims of sexual abuse, we have to take into account the childs developmental stage. Children have very different physical, emotional, and cognitive abilities to adults. They do not understand the world in the same way that adults do; and they have not reached social or moral maturity. A child who repeatedly makes false claims of abuse may be suffering with an emotional or behavioural disorder. As Sandy pointed out, they may be suffering with a psychotic disorder (where a childs thought processes are severly impaired, and they have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy). As with the case that Don posted, a child who is being raised in a family environment where there is substance abuse, may well be neglected. Symptoms such as repeated stealing, lying, and cheating are indicative of possible psychiatric disorders.

                      So, having said all that- I sincerely hope that by the statement you made; you mean ADULTS who fabricate claims, and not children.



                      [This message has been edited by blondie72 (edited 05-25-2001).]
                      [email protected] "Where there is love, there is no imposition"- Albert Einstien.

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                      • #26
                        blondie, yes I mean adults.

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                        • #27
                          Ok, thanks for the clarification.

                          [email protected] "Where there is love, there is no imposition"- Albert Einstien.

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