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  • Drill Instructor abuse

    Anyone out there got any good drill instructor abuse? You know, your standing there, he's shouting in your ear "you're as welcome here as a fart in a space suit, as useful as a one legged man in an ars* kicking contest, as useful as a chocolate fire guard ......"
    Just think of that guy in Full Metal Jacket. Abusive but funny.
    The artist formerly known as Soho Bandit

  • #2
    The funniest I heard was," You're as much use as a hard on in K D Langs bedroom" . Still makes me chuckle,
    sigpic
    Scream if you wanna go faster

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    • #3
      Uh, guys, I don't know about you, but back-talking a D.I. is NOT the way to make her/his "A" list! Unless you ENJOY being "jack-*** of the course" for the ENTIRE time there!
      #32936 - Royal Canadian Mounted Police - 1975-10-27 / 2010-12-29
      Proud Dad of #54266 - RCMP - 2007-02-12 to date
      RCMP Veterans Association - Regina Division member
      Mounted Police Professional Association of Canada - Associate (Retired) member
      "Smile" - no!

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      • #4
        Ummmm, I think they are speaking of the DI, abusing the recruit. I could be wrong, but no, I'm not wrong.

        Comment


        • #5
          [Eek!]
          "Boy, do I feel sheeeeepish!"
          #32936 - Royal Canadian Mounted Police - 1975-10-27 / 2010-12-29
          Proud Dad of #54266 - RCMP - 2007-02-12 to date
          RCMP Veterans Association - Regina Division member
          Mounted Police Professional Association of Canada - Associate (Retired) member
          "Smile" - no!

          Comment


          • #6
            Let's see: lesson one: Always turn the trainee statement into a constructive crititsim...

            "Pete, are you a sheep?" Are you saying Canada hires sheep?

            "No sir!, I'm not saying Canada hires sheep, sir!

            "Well, Pete, you now claim your own country would discriminate against honest sheep? Are you not proud of Candadian sheep?"

            "Yes sir!. I'm proud of Canadian sheep, sir!"



            Jim Burnes
            Proud to have 'trained' Basic trainees in the good old days.

            Comment


            • #7
              Here ya go...so you can even take a Gunny with you

              R. Lee Ermey

              Comment


              • #8
                One real sadistic incident comes to mind. We had a boot who's grandmother passed while we were at PI. Since he was raised by her, he got emergency leave to go home . After he returned one of our DIs walked up to him when we were "on line". The DI's comment: "I never say anything bad about the dead- your grandmother's dead- That's Good!"

                That was as close as it came to a boot assaulting a DI.
                "All the people like us are we,
                And everyone else is They"

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                • #9
                  DI: BOOT, STAND UP STRAIGHT!

                  Boot: Sir, I AM standing up straight sir!

                  DI: BOOT, ARE YOU BUILT CROOKED?

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                  DI: BOOT, IS YOUR FLY OPEN?

                  and of course when boot looks down

                  DI: BOOT, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN FOR? YOU ARE AT ATTENTION! YOUR WEENIE IS STILL THERE, STOP LOOKING FOR IT!

                  GIVE ME 25 FOR LOOKING DOWN. (50 IF THE BOOT IS SHOWING ANY FORM OF A SENSE OF HUMOR OVER THIS)

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                  The DI can always mispronounce a boot's name. Then if the boot attempts to correct him -

                  DI: BOOT, ARE YOU SAYING (vvveeeerrrry coldly) I'M WRONG? Use your imagination now, no matter what his answer is.

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                  Make them run the course with both hands over their heads, opening and closing fists to signify flashing lights, and wailing like a siren.

                  You want more?
                  6P1 (retired)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    quote:
                    Originally posted by Don:


                    Make them run the course with both hands over their heads, opening and closing fists to signify flashing lights, and wailing like a siren.


                    You know, I forgot about that one- Emergency Headcalls- that was a favorite.

                    One day, we were doing close order drill and our DI's wife drove up. He walked over to talk to her briefly and of course, we all eyeballed her. When he came back, the questions started.

                    Q: Do you think my wife is pretty?
                    A: Sir, yes, Sir!
                    Q: Oh, so you want to **** my wife?
                    A: Sir, no, Sir!
                    Q: So you don't like my wife?
                    ....and so on and so on, til the bending and thrusting or mountain climbers, or push-ups began.

                    I always wondered what would have happened if one of us had just said," Yes Sir, the private would love to- when is the DI's wife available, Sir?
                    "All the people like us are we,
                    And everyone else is They"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      my personal favorite when was a instructor to privates was ....preferably after one buffoon leads the section on drill into a wall..
                      DIo you know what you are private???

                      Pte:No corporal??

                      DI:You a word ...that begins with c ,ends in t..

                      Ptenervous gulp)...no corporal..

                      DIwith effect to lean in close)you are a coconut....a coconut!!!

                      about face and walk off...

                      Private would stand rigidly at attention and confused..
                      Get your trousers on,you're nicked!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ah 1, 2, 3...

                        Around her neck she wore a yellow ribbon!
                        She wore it for her soldier serving far, far away!

                        Left, right, left!

                        Around the block, she pushed a dempsy dumpster!
                        She pushed it for her soldier, serving far, far away!

                        Left, right, ol-left!

                        Around the block, she pushed a deadlined 5 ton!
                        She pushed it for her soldier, serving far, far away!

                        Left, right, ol-left!

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                        • #13
                          You are living proof recruit, of why cousins shouldn't screw

                          [Wink]

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                          • #14
                            As we stood on parade having just made a total arse of our drill the PSI shouted at us he would "unscrew our heads and sh*t down our necks."

                            One bold hero replied from the back, " The catering corp just did that sarge"

                            We all paid big for that one.

                            Mac
                            Si vis pacem, para bellum

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It was the fall of 85, I was a boot in MCRD, we were in 3rd phase boot camp on Edson Range at Camp Pendelton, CA.

                              I had just finished the assualt course, which required running up a hill that was about 75 yards, throwing grenades through portholes, firing my M-16 A2 and yelling aghhhhh with a good war face. Well, when I completed the course a DI from another platoon told one of my DI's that I was not yelling loud enough. So my DI orders me to do it again, which I did.

                              This is where it gets good. I complete the course, making sure that I saved my yelling for the end of the course where there were 5 DI's. During the last leg of the course my M-16 A2 jamed. I go up to one fo my DI's infoming him that my weapon had jammed. He cleared it. I remember this like it happened yesterday. Here is the conversation that followed once the weapon was cleared. Oh BTW once we completed the course it was chow time, MREs.

                              Me: Sir, pvt.madmax requests premission to speak to DI Sgt.1. Sir.

                              DI Sgt1. Speeeaaak.

                              Me: Sir, pvt.MM requests permission to make a headcall and then go to chow, Sir.

                              DI Sgt1: First tell me how much a US.Govt ink pen weighs.

                              Me: Sir, pvt, MM does not know how much a US.govt ink pen weighs Sir.

                              DI Sgt1: Then go ask DI Sgt2 how much it weighs.

                              Me: Aye aye Sir.
                              (note Sgt2 was at the bottom of the course and Sgt1 was at the top.

                              Me: Sir pvt.MM requests permission to speak to DI Sgt2, Sir.

                              DI Sgt2: Speeaak.

                              Me: Sir, pvt MM was ordered by DI Sgt1 to ask DISgt2 how much a US.govt pen weighs, Sir.

                              DI Sgt2: Would that be blue ink or black ink?

                              Me: Sir, DISgt1, did not specify what color ink, Sir.

                              DISgt2: The go find out.

                              Me: Aye aye Sir.

                              Back to the top.

                              Me:Sir,pvt MM request permission to speak to DISgt1, Sir.

                              DISgt1. Speeaak.

                              Me:Sir, DISgt2 wants to know if the pen is blue ink or black ink,Sir.

                              DISgt1: Black ink.

                              Me: Aye aye sir.

                              at the bottom.

                              Me: Sir,pvt MM request permission to speak to DISgt2 sir.

                              DIsgt2: Speeaaak

                              Me: To DISgt2; Sir, the US. govt pen is black ink sir.

                              DI.Sgt2. A US govt pen that is filled with black ink weighs 2.5 oz.

                              Me: Aye aye sir.

                              at the top.

                              Me: Sir,pvt MM request permission to speak to DISgt1.

                              DISgt1: Speeeaak.

                              Me: Sir, DISgt2 informed this pvt that a US.govt pen that is filled with black ink weighs 2.5 oz, Sir.

                              DISgt1: Fine. pvt do like this course?

                              Me: Yes sir.

                              DISgt1. Then go tell DISgt2 that you like this course.

                              Me: Aye aye sir.

                              back at the bottom.

                              Me:Sir,pvt MM request permission to speak to DISgt2 Sir.

                              DISgt2. Speeeaaak.

                              Me:Sir pvt.MM was sent down by DI Sgt1, to tell DISGt2 that this pvt likes this course.

                              DISgt2. Well how much do yo like it?

                              Me: Sir this pvt likes it a lot SIR!!!

                              DISgt2: Then let me here it...

                              Me: Sir, PVT MM LIKES THIS COURSE SIR!!!!!!! OOORAHHHHH...

                              DISgt2: Louder...

                              ME Sir, PVT MM LIKES THIS COURSE SIR!!!!!!! OOORAHHHHH...

                              DISgt2: Does this course give you a **** on?

                              ME: YES SIR.

                              DISgt2: Then go tell that to DISgt1.

                              ME: Aye Aye sir.

                              Eventually I was given permission to make that much needed headcall, but only after I ran up and down that assualt course a few more times.

                              [ 08-26-2002, 03:19 AM: Message edited by: MadMax ]

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