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On the subject of marriage.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by highwayman:
    Abstaining from sex BEFORE marriage? Then what do you call it after you get hitched?

    legalized prostitution

    Leave a comment:


  • blondie72
    replied
    It's so lovely to hear about all these proposals, and gain an insight into the moments that are so precious to us all. I thank everyone for all the replies!

    Kheya: three weddings is so romantic! You and your husband are truly blessed in having such a strong, and loving partnership together. I think it's wonderful that you proposed

    Don; I agree, in a strong partnership, either partner should be able to broach any subject

    Sandy: Making the same hike every year is incredibly romantic!
    You brought up a point that I think is interesting. The best relationships are those where there is a balanced partnership. However, it is all too often the case that one partner takes a dominant role in the major decision- making process of the relationship. This book makes many parallels between a business partnership, and romance. Women today are encouraged to be assertive, even aggressive in the world of business. Are these 13 steps encouraging women to be emotionally manipulative? Or are they simply encouraging women to adopt a more "take- charge" attitude? I think I agree with you in that it may be a little of both. Some of the steps I agree with, and some I don't.

    My husband and I started dating when I was 16 and in boarding school, and he was 22, and in the Army (yes, 16 is the age of consent in the UK lol). At first (given the age difference), he was the dominant partner in all the major areas of our relationship. However, during my college years, we had some arguements as the dynamics of the relationship changed; and the balance evened out. He bore it well

    He proposed to me at the train station, when I was on my way back to school. We were both in our respective uniforms; and he looked so handsome I was sixteen, so when I told my father I was engaged, this was his face: LOL. After twelve years together, and ten years of marriage, my dad is just now starting to warm up to him

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  • Valor55
    replied
    People stick to bad relationships often out of convenience. I think it would be helpful if women (and men) determined their significant other were thinking about marriage. If that is your goal but not theirs you need to say good-bye and keep looking. You will never find a spouse if you are in a relationship in which that possibility won't occur.

    Leave a comment:


  • kateykakes
    replied
    The way I feel right now, I don't think I'd want to get married again. I'm not sure I could commit to a relationship with everything I have going on in my life right now. My children and their activities, school, two jobs...really doesn't leave much time for anyone else.

    But if and when I meet someone, as long as we love and respect each other, wouldn't make a difference who asked the question. If it's something we both want then it really shouldn't matter.

    ------------------
    "There's no place like home."

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  • shooter1201
    replied
    My wife and I have been married 19 years TODAY. We dated for almost 3 years before marrying.

    I proposed to her on Christmas Eve, 1980. She received her engagement ring while we were decorating the Christmas tree at her parent's house. I had been handing her ornaments, then I handed her her ring.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Will be going to a wedding this weekend in Ft. Worth. The couple have been living together for over a year at the insistence of HER MOTHER! They were considering marriage but her mother suggested that the girl live with the boy for a year to see if they truly can get along.

    I think it is alright for the girl to make her position on marriage known after a sufficient period of dating. Abstaining from sex is a personal choice for her & it depends on if she is just being sure & safe or whether she is using it as bait. If she is withholding to make the guy commit in the "heat of the moment", then that's wrong.

    I proposed also while parking by the water, but with ring in hand & fully clothed. We had already been ring hunting so it wasn't a surprise.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sandy
    replied
    Marriage is a partnership, not something a dominant person "bestows" on a less dominant person. This book sounds like it's advocating a manipulative approach to getting what you want (in this case, a marriage proposal). This may be fine in business or politics (as long as the actions are not illegal or unethical--ha ha), but in a relationship that's supposed to be the basis of a permanent partnership, I don't know...

    Theoretically, there should be no difference whether the woman or the man proposes--each person should have a good idea of the other's suitability as a life-partner and either one should be able to broach the subject, but personally, I still like the old fashioned way (the man proposing). I hope I don't have to find out a second time--the first time was very nice.

    My first date with my husband was a strenuous hike in the Rocky Mountains. We've done the same hike every year at the same time since then (his idea). On the sixth hike, he proposed on top of the mountain. He gave me an engagement ring and a buttercup that he picked. Half way down the mountain, there was (is) a rushing stream. He had secretly planted a bottle of Dom Perignon in the stream, and we toasted our engagement. Wonder what would have happened had I said no???

    Leave a comment:


  • kheya
    replied
    What can I say Don...even after being together for 14 years and married for 11 we are still very mushy...sigh.....guess I'm very lucky...nah...I know I'm very lucky

    kheya

    ------------------
    My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

    Leave a comment:


  • Don
    replied
    Excellent Topic!

    posted by blondie1) Do you think women should take an assertive role in: stating a desire for marriage, setting a date, abstaining from sex, and even proposing?
    I see nothing wrong with a woman making her feelings about marriage known. If you have an

    Leave a comment:


  • kheya
    replied
    Well actually, I proposed to my husband...he said yes right away then actually got down on one knee in a restaurant after we bought the engagement ring and proposed to me.

    We had 3 weddings. LOLOLOLOL.
    One here for his family by a JP. One in India for my family by a Hindu preist. Then one last year to mark our 10th anniversary in our church (Episcopal) by our priest.

    I guess he really wanted me, so no I don't feel that by proposing I pushed him into anything.

    kheya

    ------------------
    My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

    Leave a comment:


  • highwayman
    replied
    Abstaining from sex BEFORE marriage? Then what do you call it after you get hitched?

    Leave a comment:


  • Ken
    replied
    Abstaining from sex, bad idea. I for one would NOT supply a ring.
    I was married once, and it was a sexless marriage for the most part. 2 times a month if I was lucky. Where I don't think that sex is the most important thing in a relationship or marriage, but it is still a major item.

    Plus you test drive cars before you by right?
    Same principle. Sometimes its fun to test drive a Jag before you purchase a Yugo.

    Leave a comment:


  • JKT
    replied
    I don't mind a woman being a little aggressive, as (in person) I tend to be shy and have missed opportunities to get to know some very nice women due to this.

    I also agree with Nell, if the circumstances are right, and there is good commmunication between the man and the woman, it doesn't matter where a proposal takes place. You will know when it's right.

    ------------------
    Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

    Jack

    [email protected]

    Leave a comment:


  • Neltja
    replied
    Imho, a woman should let a man know that she is interested but not in an aggresive manner. When I fall in love the man in question can purpose in a romantic setting or in a cow pasture, it would make no difference to me.

    Nell

    Leave a comment:


  • Mitzi
    replied
    Well, I for one think that more women are eager to get married then men. I hate these "weddings" that are surprises. A man steps out of an elevator and there the woman is, in a wedding gown, with a pastor and he gets married without realizing what's going on.

    Leave a comment:

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