On the subject of marriage.

[Neltja]

Jack,

The lady who lands you will be fortunate indeed. Special deserves special.



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Nell

"People are like stained-glass windows, they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in
their true beauty is revealed only if their light is from within."
- Elizabeth Kubler Ross

[JKT]

Jellybean and Blondie: Thanks

[blondie72]

Originally posted by Jellybean:

has anyone heard of the book "The Surrendered Wife." i think that's the title.

I haven't heard of the book, Jellybean- but I'm certainly going to follow it up, and find out a bit more about it. It has piqued my interest. From what you have described though; I'm probably going to concur with Don, and say "It sounds like a lot of horse apples!" lol

Good communication is the basis of any strong relationship.

JKT: I have no doubt that when you find that special lady- you will make a connection, and shyness won't be an issue

[Don]

Originally posted by jellybean40:
has anyone heard of the book "The Surrendered Wife." i think that's the title. it instructs a woman not to question her husband or fight about anything. everyone on the 'talk shows' who have tried it SWEAR by it. seems kind of unfair to me, as a woman.

Sounds more like a way for the author and publisher to make money than it does like legitimate advice. It also sounds like a load of horse apples!

Thank God my wife DOES question me. She certainly helps me keep from making a lot of stupid mistakes. I do the same for her. For heaven sakes, isn't that a good part of what marriage is all about?

If you don't have open communication, I don't think you have much of a relationship.

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"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!"
6P1 (retired)

[jellybean40]

Originally posted by Sparky:
There is a difference between not having sex...and not having sex with HIM...

get it?

LMAO touche'

[Sparky]

There is a difference between not having sex...and not having sex with HIM...

get it?

[jellybean40]

Originally posted by JKT:

Yes time does help get over the shyness, but how much time? I'm "over 40", and have been engaged twice (to the same woman.

I'm not too worried, though, I still think that "special someone" is out there, We just haven't met, or made the right connection yet.

Jack, i can relate, i was engaged to the same guy twice too, way back, also 10 yrs apart...18 and again at 28. after 10 years in the marines he still couldnt commit. sometimes it seems so right and perfect and just never works out, and thats for the best in the long-run. my 10 year marriage didnt end up working out, but some of the years were really good, and there was always love there.

you probably will surprise yourself and meet a special someone and find it was well worth the wait.

[jellybean40]

Originally posted by kateykakes:
The way I feel right now, I don't think I'd want to get married again. I'm not sure I could commit to a relationship with everything I have going on in my life right now.

i don't want to get married again either, but i think a relationship, monogomous/long term! would be great. i just dont like the M word anymore.

as for the "holding out for a ring," i could never do it! i mean physically! he'd be the one punishing ME if he held out. eee gads, the 40's...

has anyone heard of the book "The Surrendered Wife." i think that's the title. it instructs a woman not to question her husband or fight about anything. everyone on the 'talk shows' who have tried it SWEAR by it. seems kind of unfair to me, as a woman. i think there will always be different conflicts in any relationship, even friendships.

[colinm]

I proposed to my future wife new years eve 1975.... i was very drunk.... she was very happy ( well she would wouldn't she).... next day when i woke up and realised what i had said the nightbefore, i didn't have the heart to tell her i had only been joking!!!

been married 25 years............ never again!!!

[JKT]

Originally posted by Don:
Um Jack,

My Bad! I got ya mixed up with one of those other "three initials" guys!

Yuck, my foot does not taste very good tonight!

That's OK, Don. In a school earlier this week, one of the other students was talking to our Academy Director about length of service, and really got his eyes opened when the Director, the Instructor, and I told him we had about 74 years experience between the three of us! (The Director and the Instructor are both female and do NOT look their ages) His statement was made after he made the comment "you don't look old enough to have been in LE that long".

That's life, I guess.

(PS: Try a little salt and pepper )

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Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

Jack

[email protected]


[This message has been edited by JKT (edited 05-17-2001).]

That's so romantic Wcall.

[Don]

Um Jack,

My Bad! I got ya mixed up with one of those other "three initials" guys!

Yuck, my foot does not taste very good tonight!
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"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!"
6P1 (retired)

[This message has been edited by Don (edited 05-16-2001).]

[JKT]

Don;

Yes time does help get over the shyness, but how much time? I'm "over 40", and have been engaged twice (to the same woman-veerrryyy long story) about 10 years apart. She turned out to have some, er, um, issues pertaining to fidelity. Hers, not mine.

I'm not too worried, though, I still think that "special someone" is out there, We just haven't met, or made the right connection yet.

I'm basically a romantic and am sure that someone will see the "real me" and like what they see.

One of these days......

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Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

Jack

[email protected]

[WCall]

Met my wife on a blind date. A friend met her while they were both getting their cars serviced. My friend calls me to tell me I have to call this girl. After 20 minutes of trying to convince her I didn't need a blind date I gave in and called. I broke a date to go out with her 2 nights later and I'm glad I did. Mmmmmm she looked(s) good! We were engaged 8 weeks later after I wrote a song and proposed in the song. After proposing I went to her father and asked for his blessing, which he gave. We were married 7 months later and celebrate 10 years this July.

I still like the man taking the initiative, but there have to be some pretty clear signals from the woman.


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Contrary to popular belief, knowledge is not power. Without wisdom, knowledge is useless.

I love this topic, I disagree with all of the questions though. First I don't think setting a wedding date before the wedding is discussed is appropiate. Second, the marriage would likely end in disaster due to the feeling of being forced into a situation. And holding out on sex for a ring is just plain cruel. I have been married for 12 years. And neither my husband or i proposed to each other. One day my mother in law decided it was time for us to get married and she set a date and planned everything. we just showed up and it was done. I love my husband and there is no doubt he loves me, but i'll never know if he has the feeling he was coerced into it all. We had our share of fights over the years but they went from money to raising and discipline for the children. And we prevailed. Now its a race to see who can retire first and How many times we can go to Pittsburgh before we die (just joking) And see how many grandkids we end up with. I think as the years go by it gets fun instead of harder.