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  • #16
    The way I feel right now, I don't think I'd want to get married again. I'm not sure I could commit to a relationship with everything I have going on in my life right now. My children and their activities, school, two jobs...really doesn't leave much time for anyone else.

    But if and when I meet someone, as long as we love and respect each other, wouldn't make a difference who asked the question. If it's something we both want then it really shouldn't matter.

    ------------------
    "There's no place like home."

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    • #17
      People stick to bad relationships often out of convenience. I think it would be helpful if women (and men) determined their significant other were thinking about marriage. If that is your goal but not theirs you need to say good-bye and keep looking. You will never find a spouse if you are in a relationship in which that possibility won't occur.
      I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

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      • #18
        It's so lovely to hear about all these proposals, and gain an insight into the moments that are so precious to us all. I thank everyone for all the replies!

        Kheya: three weddings is so romantic! You and your husband are truly blessed in having such a strong, and loving partnership together. I think it's wonderful that you proposed

        Don; I agree, in a strong partnership, either partner should be able to broach any subject

        Sandy: Making the same hike every year is incredibly romantic!
        You brought up a point that I think is interesting. The best relationships are those where there is a balanced partnership. However, it is all too often the case that one partner takes a dominant role in the major decision- making process of the relationship. This book makes many parallels between a business partnership, and romance. Women today are encouraged to be assertive, even aggressive in the world of business. Are these 13 steps encouraging women to be emotionally manipulative? Or are they simply encouraging women to adopt a more "take- charge" attitude? I think I agree with you in that it may be a little of both. Some of the steps I agree with, and some I don't.

        My husband and I started dating when I was 16 and in boarding school, and he was 22, and in the Army (yes, 16 is the age of consent in the UK lol). At first (given the age difference), he was the dominant partner in all the major areas of our relationship. However, during my college years, we had some arguements as the dynamics of the relationship changed; and the balance evened out. He bore it well

        He proposed to me at the train station, when I was on my way back to school. We were both in our respective uniforms; and he looked so handsome I was sixteen, so when I told my father I was engaged, this was his face: LOL. After twelve years together, and ten years of marriage, my dad is just now starting to warm up to him

        [email protected] "Where there is love, there is no imposition"- Albert Einstien.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by highwayman:
          Abstaining from sex BEFORE marriage? Then what do you call it after you get hitched?

          legalized prostitution

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          • #20
            I love this topic, I disagree with all of the questions though. First I don't think setting a wedding date before the wedding is discussed is appropiate. Second, the marriage would likely end in disaster due to the feeling of being forced into a situation. And holding out on sex for a ring is just plain cruel. I have been married for 12 years. And neither my husband or i proposed to each other. One day my mother in law decided it was time for us to get married and she set a date and planned everything. we just showed up and it was done. I love my husband and there is no doubt he loves me, but i'll never know if he has the feeling he was coerced into it all. We had our share of fights over the years but they went from money to raising and discipline for the children. And we prevailed. Now its a race to see who can retire first and How many times we can go to Pittsburgh before we die (just joking) And see how many grandkids we end up with. I think as the years go by it gets fun instead of harder.

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            • #21
              Met my wife on a blind date. A friend met her while they were both getting their cars serviced. My friend calls me to tell me I have to call this girl. After 20 minutes of trying to convince her I didn't need a blind date I gave in and called. I broke a date to go out with her 2 nights later and I'm glad I did. Mmmmmm she looked(s) good! We were engaged 8 weeks later after I wrote a song and proposed in the song. After proposing I went to her father and asked for his blessing, which he gave. We were married 7 months later and celebrate 10 years this July.

              I still like the man taking the initiative, but there have to be some pretty clear signals from the woman.


              ------------------
              Contrary to popular belief, knowledge is not power. Without wisdom, knowledge is useless.
              Contrary to popular belief, knowledge is not power. Without wisdom, knowledge is useless.

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              • #22
                Don;

                Yes time does help get over the shyness, but how much time? I'm "over 40", and have been engaged twice (to the same woman-veerrryyy long story) about 10 years apart. She turned out to have some, er, um, issues pertaining to fidelity. Hers, not mine.

                I'm not too worried, though, I still think that "special someone" is out there, We just haven't met, or made the right connection yet.

                I'm basically a romantic and am sure that someone will see the "real me" and like what they see.

                One of these days......

                ------------------
                Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

                Jack

                [email protected]
                Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

                Jack

                [email protected]

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                • #23
                  Um Jack,

                  My Bad! I got ya mixed up with one of those other "three initials" guys!

                  Yuck, my foot does not taste very good tonight!
                  ------------------
                  "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!"
                  6P1 (retired)

                  [This message has been edited by Don (edited 05-16-2001).]
                  6P1 (retired)

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                  • #24
                    That's so romantic Wcall.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Don:
                      Um Jack,

                      My Bad! I got ya mixed up with one of those other "three initials" guys!

                      Yuck, my foot does not taste very good tonight!

                      That's OK, Don. In a school earlier this week, one of the other students was talking to our Academy Director about length of service, and really got his eyes opened when the Director, the Instructor, and I told him we had about 74 years experience between the three of us! (The Director and the Instructor are both female and do NOT look their ages) His statement was made after he made the comment "you don't look old enough to have been in LE that long".

                      That's life, I guess.

                      (PS: Try a little salt and pepper )

                      ------------------
                      Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

                      Jack

                      [email protected]


                      [This message has been edited by JKT (edited 05-17-2001).]
                      Optimistic pessimist: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

                      Jack

                      [email protected]

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I proposed to my future wife new years eve 1975.... i was very drunk.... she was very happy ( well she would wouldn't she).... next day when i woke up and realised what i had said the nightbefore, i didn't have the heart to tell her i had only been joking!!!

                        been married 25 years............ never again!!!

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by kateykakes:
                          The way I feel right now, I don't think I'd want to get married again. I'm not sure I could commit to a relationship with everything I have going on in my life right now.
                          i don't want to get married again either, but i think a relationship, monogomous/long term! would be great. i just dont like the M word anymore.

                          as for the "holding out for a ring," i could never do it! i mean physically! he'd be the one punishing ME if he held out. eee gads, the 40's...

                          has anyone heard of the book "The Surrendered Wife." i think that's the title. it instructs a woman not to question her husband or fight about anything. everyone on the 'talk shows' who have tried it SWEAR by it. seems kind of unfair to me, as a woman. i think there will always be different conflicts in any relationship, even friendships.
                          "You did what you knew how to do...and when you knew better, you did better." ~~Maya Angelou

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by JKT:

                            Yes time does help get over the shyness, but how much time? I'm "over 40", and have been engaged twice (to the same woman.

                            I'm not too worried, though, I still think that "special someone" is out there, We just haven't met, or made the right connection yet.

                            Jack, i can relate, i was engaged to the same guy twice too, way back, also 10 yrs apart...18 and again at 28. after 10 years in the marines he still couldnt commit. sometimes it seems so right and perfect and just never works out, and thats for the best in the long-run. my 10 year marriage didnt end up working out, but some of the years were really good, and there was always love there.

                            you probably will surprise yourself and meet a special someone and find it was well worth the wait.
                            "You did what you knew how to do...and when you knew better, you did better." ~~Maya Angelou

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                            • #29
                              There is a difference between not having sex...and not having sex with HIM...

                              get it?
                              -Sparky

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Sparky:
                                There is a difference between not having sex...and not having sex with HIM...

                                get it?
                                LMAO touche'
                                "You did what you knew how to do...and when you knew better, you did better." ~~Maya Angelou

                                Comment

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