Kids in Jail

[Mitzi]

When I was in the Citizens Police Academy, we were taken on a tour of the P-Farm. This was short for Prison Farm. It's well maintianed but the inmates are generally not violent. Most are in for drugs. We went to the central part of this prison and I saw 16, 7, 18 year old kids all in this huge room. They had a basketball inside and out and that was it. There was a phone for them to call collect and the supervisor told us that many of these kids come from poor families. A 15 minute collect call is big money to them. Off to the side sat a young boy that reminded me of my son so much.
He was hard to look at. He would smile and he was just waiting, hoping to get out of jail. My eyes filled with tears because that could have very easily been my son sitting there.
Raising David was not easy and I'm sure plenty of these parents cared. They just didn't know what to do with them.
David had a very strong father figure. He had to have one. He was very difficult to deal with and I couldn't imagine having to raise him myself. I know many Mothers do well. But there were times just the sight of his father made him straighten up and fly right.
I was a tough Mom too. He got away with stuff, stuff I didn't want to know about. But he knew he better walk the straight and narrow or the end of the crooked line would be his father, who had NO problem with tough love.
I could see kids there that would probably go on to be hardened criminals. Tatoos covered their bodies and they were extremely disrespectful to the women in our group. The officers set them straight right now.
When I was walking back from the gun range, I saw two young inmates standing there and didn't think much of it til I heard an irate officer bark at them to get back and get away from civilians. He was REALLY mad.
These young men....I felt so sorry for some of them. But the officer told me they KNEW the rules and they were pushing it. I understood but it would have broken my hert to see my son there.

[Evnings]

Good parents are what really help keep people from ending up in jail.

But, there are some kids that almost seem predestined to go to jail.

I started dealing with this one kid when he was 12 for stealing bikes. Everytime I caught him, I'd take him home and the parents where concerned and tried to take corrective action.

When he got big enough to reach the pedals on a car and steer, he started stealing cars. The first time I caught him stealing cars, I told him if he continued, he was going to end up being a ward of the state.

Well, he kept committing offenses, and finally got himself certified as an adult ( which is very hard to do in my county ) and went to the big boy's jail.

He did some time in the State Prison and was released to a half way house in Houston. He " escaped " from the half way house along with a buddy. They ended up kidnapping a woman, brutally raping her, then killed her. They then stole her car and came back to my fair city with the stolen car and a murder warrant.

We found them. He got sent back to Houston and was given the death penalty. He was one of the youngest people sentenced to death in the state.

I wanted to go down to Huntsville and tell him " Told you so " so bad.

His parents were good caring people. he just had a " bad" gene in him.

[Mitzi]

All I can attribute it to was my husband. David didn't like dealing with me but he had such a deep respect for his father, who never ever laid a hand on him. I agree some kids may have bad genes but the kids they run with are the biggest problems.
My husband loved it when David and all his friends wee little. We live in a small beach community and everyone knows everyone. But as the kids got older, my husband was one who got wiser.
It was only his VERY FIRM guidance that pulled David away from these kids that had gone bad. Not only did David have a deep and wary respect of his Dad, so did these other kids.
One father told my husband one time he'd given up on his 17 year old son, that he was a bum and always would be.
My husband told him he would NEVER do that to our son. He said we bought him into this world and it was our responsibility to guide them to our dying day if we had to.
His son is now in jail for robbing a convenience store. Our son graduated from high school and has held the same responsible job for 7 years now.
I just believe that tough love and serious consequences to their actions is all that matters. Even so, some just never get the message. My son told me he would rather drink motor oil then to know his Dad was disappointed in him. He also said, "When I was a teenager, I hated more then anything in the world to have to let Dad know I didn something dumb". I said, "But he never laid a hand on you, son." He said, "Yea, but his eyes said he COULD!" lol

[Bob A]

You can never take free will out of the human equation. People will do what they decide to do. All you can really do with kids is hope that the bond between you is strong enough to overcome the other influences.

I have 4 of them. All have had their problems. It almost seems chronic where I live and the legal system is completely overwhelmed, which feeds the problem. The kids feel invincible, and when they finally do something bad enough to be locked up, they are suprised. This reinforces my belief that accountability is the best thing we can give them after a loving home. The system fails us so many ways it's sickening.

[Oink]

I think there comes a point when a parent has no choice but to give up on their kid, When there are younger kids in the home! I think it then becomes the parents responsibilty to accept their losses and do their best not to let the situation destroy their remaining children.
Although I don't believe that a bad home can 'MAKE' a kid grow up to be a bad person(quite the opposite), It's still traumatic though and can take many years to overcome.
I would never feel sorry for kids in jail, They may not have been jailed for violent offenses, If anything they're getting a second chance, If they learn their lesson then they never have to go back. It's up to them.
I knew someone who spent 6 years in and out of the correctional system starting at age 16. He was never jailed for a violent offense, But he was also the most violent, enraged person I've ever known.
These drug users claim they're only hurting themselves...Yeah right...They'd murder their own mother for a fix.
Sad but true, Sometimes pity is a crime.