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  • Happy New Year!

    I didn't write this, but I thought you all might want to read it. Happy New Year! Stay Safe!

    May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs, and
    your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your
    triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count
    and your mortgage interest not rise.

    May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your
    cardiologist, your gastroenterologist, your urologist,
    your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist,
    your plumber, and the IRS.

    May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere
    during rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get
    there may you find a parking space.

    May this evening, December 31, find you seated around
    the dinner table, together with your beloved family and
    cherished friends, ushering in the New Year ahead. You
    will find the food better, the environment quieter, the
    cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling
    than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

    May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what
    others see in you delight them.

    May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until
    you finish dinner, may your checkbook and your budget
    balance, and may they include generous amounts for your
    church and charities.

    May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day
    to your spouse, your child, and your parent(s). You can
    say it to your secretary, your nurse, your butcher, your
    photographer, your masseuse, your seamstress, your
    hairdresser or your tennis instructor, but not with a
    "twinkle" in your eye.

    May we live as intended, in a world at peace with the
    awareness of the beauty in every sunset, every flower's
    unfolding petals, every baby's smile and every wonderful,
    astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.

    Bless you with every happiness, great health peace, and
    much love during the next year and all those that follow.
    Criminals prefer unarmed victims.

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