Bad Bosses

[Mitzi]

My son has the boss-from-hell. He's a bully and a micromanager. My son has to have his job because he needs his insurance because of his medical condition. But his boss doesn't like him and has a psychological warfare going on with him. He wants him to quit. He curses him out if he makes a mistake yet he knows my son has a medical prolem that affects his memory. He will plan get togethers....and my son won't be invited.
I stay out of it. I can only listen. My son has to make his own decisions. He called today and said his boss cursed him up one wall and down he other. He said my son made a mistake that is going to cost the company thousands of dollars. My son tried to calm him down but then the boss went quiet and won't speak to him. He will talk to anyone in the room but him. He told my son he would speak to him only about work or if they went to HR.
I think my son mde a good decision. He went to HR....alone.
They told him to go home until they got to the bottom of this. It could be he may lose his job but I think he made a good decision because it's the first time he stood up to this guy I think in the only thing this guy will understand. He's huge bully and it's been hard to watch my son be upset and dread going to work everyday.
I know I'm only getting one side of the story and I'm predjudiced because I'm his Mother. But he has held this job down for 7 years now under terrible stress. When he was in the hospital, not one of his co-workers came to see him. But when another one was in the hospital, the boss went to see him.
I'm just so worried because my son HAS to have his insurance because of his medical condition. But, whatever happens, happens. I'm glad he stood up to him.
My husband and I are both upset and worried but have said nothing to him. My husband told him he has to handle it and he did. I'm proud of him.

[shooter1201]

IIRC, your son is PROTECTED(because of his condition) from harrassment such as this under '504' laws(Federal). Check it out. Sounds like you have a lawsuit to WIN.

'504' laws don't just apply to school/kids.

[ 12-31-2002, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: shooter1201 ]

[Mitzi]

That's what my husband says. He said this is harassment and our son is protected. We haven't had much time to talk about it.
My son said he just can't take anymore. He said it's a very hostile environment. His co-workers talk to him when his boss isn't around but he's like a pariah when his boss is around. I guess they are worried about their jobs too.
This guy makes it a living hell for my son. I'm proud of him for going to HR. I just get worried because of his insurance. He's on 6 medications and I know ONE of them would cost $1,000 a month if he didn't have insurance.
My son is very calm about this and it helps me. He said he just could not take anymore. He will either lose his job or keep it but he stood up for himself.
My son has never claimed diability so I don't know how that will work with the 504 laws. He's a hard worker, a young man who tries so hard to live a normal life under serious medical and job issues. I'm proud he's being so adult about this.

[shooter1201]

The fact that your son is being forced to work in a hostile environment violates Florida's Fair Labor Laws, I'm betting. Just because your son has never claimed a disability doesn't mean he ISN'T protected under '504'. I recommend contacting an attorney that SPECIALIZES in harrassment cases.

[Mitzi]

Thanks, shooter. We will find out day after tomorrow what the company plans to do about this. It could very well be his boss will be disciplned. It could be our son will lose his job. I told my husband it migh be wise for our son to consult an attorney anway and let his boss know that he did it.
Like I said, we are hearing only our sons side of the story. But I've watched him dread going to work everyday. His memory is very affected by the tumor and surgeries and his boss told him he was "tired of him making mistakes". It's become a hostile environment. My son refused to even go to his bosses Christmas party, the one thing he's been invited to go to all year. He said they will all talk about things they do together and places they go to let him know he was excluded. He said he has just had it with him. To help him, we told him that he should view work as work and make frinds out of the workplace, that these are just people he work with.
His boss is only about 2 years older then him and has some psychological problems of his own.
So, I don't know what will come of it. It could be he will keep his job but no one will speak to him.
I was in this posiion one time only I wasn't disabled. I was shunned and ridiculed and excluded because they wanted me to quit so a friend of another teacher could have my job. I dealt with it but it was really hard.
I'm proud of my son. He said he just could not deal with it anymore. He had had enough.
It's been hard watching my son bein treated "different" but he's finally reached the stage where he's matured enough he knows what to do.

[ 12-31-2002, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[huff317]

Would be nice if the harrassment was documented, or it others privy to it would be willing to fill out statements or affidavits to that effect.

Out

[Mitzi]

I have a feeling this has not gone unnoticed. But I doubt his co-workers would vouch for him. His boss is "friends" with them. I realize that I am only hearing my sons side of the story. But he's been there 7 years and is a hard worker.
My poor son has been put through so much. The boss above this one actually called him to the office and there sat the man with him that had the affair with his wife, saying my son was giving him intimidating looks all the time and he was tired of it. I think it's a good thing it was just intimidating looks. He and his now ex-wife flaunted their affair in front of my son, anything they could to upset him. This boss told my son he needed counseling, in front of the "other man" and told him to go into an empty office with this "other man" and come out shaking hands like men. My son told him if he made him go into a room with the man that slept with his wife, he was going to take him out. I mean, he was supposed to "make up" with him...after what this man did to him????? His boss just sent him back to work.
It's all been a nightmare for my son. His wife and the other man are gone now so that's a little less of a hostile environment for him.
It's so hard,as a parent, to see what he's had to go through. But he's an adult. All I can do is listen...and hurt for him.

[ 12-31-2002, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[huff317]

Prayers for you, Mitzi.

This too shall pass......

Out

[Mitzi]

I know it will. Sure would be nice if something went right for once. This guy knows what our son has gone through but doesn't seem to care. I really admire my son though. He is standing his ground and weathering the storm better then I am. It's just that he needs his insurance so badly.
Like I said, it's nervewracking and we only know our sons side.
Our son is a young man that has been through seizures, a benign brain tumor, memory problem, a sad divorce,had to work with his ex-wife and her boyfriend for awhile (but they both got fired), faces more brain surgery this year and now this. He's very strong for one so young. But I looked at our Christmas pictures and he was not smiling in any of them.

[ 12-31-2002, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[Chiefy_Brown]

sorry to hear your hurt Mitzi, that is one pile of STRESS for the both of you

jees you only live ONCE, there must be a way to quit this constant pain and FAST, you need to take ACTION and now, putting up with this stuff is not the easy way out but of course that's easy for me to say good luck girl

[Mitzi]

Thanks, Chiefy. All of us are in therapy and I am SO glad. I told my husband I didn't think I could take much more. Of course, drs want to throw pills at you. I agreed for a short period of time but nothing addictive. My H and son are on nothing for stress but the therapy helps.
My son is being very strong through all this. I look back and just see this nightmare we are working so hard to get out of. A friend of mine said, "HOW do you cope? I can't believe all that has happened to the three of you!!!" I told her,"We are here, together. SO that means we are ok. Many have it much, much worse."
And it's true. I admit, I'm wobbly, but I'm strong and so are my H and son. We will be ok.