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Lovers Lane Stories


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  • Lovers Lane Stories

    Ok, you guys, tell us some stories about comign up on lovers in cars Not necessarily from your OWN first hand experiences! lol

  • #2
    It was at night on the beach and as I passed a vehicle "something" didn't seem right, truck was "moving" a bit. I backed up and spotlighted the vehicle. There was a man and woman in the front seat of a pickup. The much larger woman was sitting on the lap of the MUCH smaller man, facing him. I don't know what looked funnier, the look of embarrassment on her face or the look of terror on his. I politely informed them to find another place, preferrably not in my city. There was a look of relief on his face and it wasn't because I was letting them go.
    "You have the right to remain silent. USE IT!!"

    "I wouldn't believe you if your tongue was notarized". Judge M. Milian


    • #3
      Similar story. We have a public boat ramp. I'm pulling in to check the activity and my lights go into a parked car. Both are over 300 pounds and in the front seat of a mid sized GM, with her on top.

      A beachside church, dark corner of the parking lot. I'm turning around and my headlights catch something way back in the corner. I pull up, thinking at first a stolen vehicle, but as I got closer, I saw the fogged windows. I made my approach I contacted the guy...then his boyfriend. What can you say except "sorry...see ya later..."

      I was working OT at a hotel during Spring Break. I'm on the second floor, front side, making my rounds. I look down and there's a car, pulled into a space right under the balcony...and a street light. All I can see in the windshield is his skinny white a** givin' it hell! I walked down and tried to delicately tell them to take it to a room, but he's in his own little world. When I finally get their attention, he jumps off(can you say...SHRINKAGE!, leaving her completely exposed. So much for chilvary, huh.

      [ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: FLLawdog ]


      • #4
        Well lets see, should i tell the one about two (2) women yea, I was on patrol one night about 0030 hrs. We are suppose to do property checks at this park. I come down the street and see this car in the park, i kill my headlights and pull in slowly. At first i did not see anything, i called in the vehicle tag and descrip, as i approached the car the passenger seat was laid back and this female eyes was closed and nobody has seen me yet, i observed this head in buried in this girls lap area, thinking this dude is going to town. I tap on the window twice and finally some folks opened their eyes. I never seen anyone move so fast from the floor board on the passenger side to the drivers seat in my life, and of course i asked " What are ya'll doing?" reply.. Just talking, the female who was in the floor between the other oone did not asy anything. I guess she had her mouth full. Stay Safe.


        • #5
          Well this wasn't EXACTLY at lover's lane. Stopped a '57 Ford pickup for weaving all over the highway (about 65MPH) figuring I had a duece. Looked like one person in the truck. Nope, guy was all right and laughing about it, but the female was sort of embarrassed when she raised up in the truck.

          Came upon a car "a-rockin'" one night at our local lane. I tapped on the window, shining my flashlight into the car. Guy pointed to two ID's on the dash board, without missing a stroke! Both were of age, so I bid them a "good evening!"

          NOW GET YER BRITCHES ON AND GET OUT OF HERE! Uh, you, boy I mean!
          6P1 (retired)


          • #6
            I was doing a patrol stop at this closed down restaurant we were supposed to keep cleared out, when I pulled up behind this car parked in the parking lot. I approached the driver's side, shined my flashlight in the car, just in time to catch the young couple in a bit of foreplay. "What are you doing here?", I asked. The young man replied,"Uh, Officer, we're just necking!!" With that, I said,"Well, put your neck back in your pants and get out of here; this is private property!"
            Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!


            • #7
              Another one I'll never forget wasn't so much in a lover's lane(which is where they should have been!).
              We were driving back into our town, when we closed in behind this car which was slowly weaving across the center line and back. As we closed in, we could see from illuminating the interior the dude driving. Thinking we were about to bag us another drunk driver, we hit the reds. That's when we saw another head pop up!
              Got the car stopped. He wasn't drunk, and she couldn't quit the silly grinning! We advised them to go get a motel, or go find a nice secluded spot somewhere OUT of town!
              Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!


              • #8
                I love the answer, " We were just talking. " Oh, so that explains why each party's pants are down around their ankles and the windows are steamed up. I buy that one just like the two beers answer.

                The best parker I ever got was on a church parking lot. Business is taking place in the passanger side door. My headlights hit the business taking place. The male is jumping through himself trying to disengage and cover up. The female, who I knew and was wanting to date, just stood there. I practically had to beg her to get dressed.
                There wasn't any asking what was going on. I just told them they needed to get a room. Kind of lost interest in wanting to date that female after this incident.
                RADAR is the 8th wonder of the world.


                • #9
                  The best one I ever came up on was two of the local colleges cheerleaders and a basketball coach in the back of his van, and this was on campus!!!

                  I almost asked the coach to introduce me!


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by SpecOpsWarrior:
                    The best one I ever came up on was two of the local colleges cheerleaders and a basketball coach in the back of his van, and this was on campus!!!

                    I almost asked the coach to introduce me!
                    No wonder you got some special nick names dude!


                    • #11
                      #1 Checking church parking lot with FTO (now my Chief) and we would have never caught it, but there were always TWO church vans parked at the edge of the parking lot. We pulled in one night, and almost as an afterthought, realized there were THREE vans there. Backed up, THIRD van was rocking. We approached, and guy was nervous and pitiful acting; the WOMAN (not girl...WOMAN) got outside and just stood there, one hand almost casually over "the lower area," and the other arm almost casually across her breasts, and she was dang near perfect. We checked ID's and sent them packing, but it was a LOOOOOOOONG night shift.

                      #2 Early one day on day shift, I was checking a deserted cul-de-sac in a subdivision that had not been developed. It was a known spot for “parking” but usually later. I pulled in and noticed 2 Honda-1 with the hood up, facing back out, so I could not see the interior. I checked out, and walked up and only upon passing the hood, saw an A/M reclined in the passenger seat, with a TINY A/F sitting beside him “moving her hand in a rapid up and down motion”, if you know what I mean. They never saw me, and I was actually shocked for a moment (this was like 10 AM) and finally tapped on the window. I ran them off, but gave her an “A” for effort! (Anybody remember the episode of Beavis and Butthead where they were watching the rock video that was sped up and Butthead said, “Beavis, if I could move my hand that fast, I’d never leave the house!&#8221 Well, I did practice courteousness anytime I saw her after that…

                      #3 LATE one nightshift, about 5:30 AM, I noticed a car that was not in a certain parking lot on an earlier round. I checked it, and all the glass was fogged up, but who would have thunk it at 0530? As I got right up too it, I saw HER on top. She hasn’t seen me yet, and she’s still going at it. HER was a 504/350 gal, that lived in town. He was some redneck schmuck she had picked up in a bar, and was passed out, and she had taken it upon herself to mount him. I let her get dressed, and even though it was December, 5 minutes later, she’s still dripping with sweat. NASSSSTY! Anyway, since we know her, we are ragging her bigtime, and she tries to get sympathy because her car is torn up. She said she hit something pulling in, and now the car would not move (she even cranked it, and ran the shifter through the gears-it was screwed up.) She kept telling us we HAD to help her get home, that she was “worried” she would not have a way home. I told her “Well you didn’t look too ‘worried’ when I drove up!”

                      Of course I’ve caught men with men, married people cheating, etc. etc.
                      People have more fun than anybody.


                      • #12
                        The three best:

                        My high school sweetheart's little sister fully engaged.

                        Two corrections officers, both married, not to each other.

                        And the best one came to me. I'm on an accident scene waiting for a tow truck. We are blocking the left hand through lane. A car pulls into the left turn lane next to us and stops for the red light about 1 1/2 car lengths in front of me. I notice the plate sticker is recently expired so figure I'll walk up and at least verbal it. I go up to the passenger window. It is a 40 something married couple. It is their anniversary. She is dressed like a ho with a skirt and no panties and he has those big baggy draw string pants on. They had just left dinner and were headed to go out dancing and were...warming each other up....(digitally) on the way there. He was embarrased. She had had many to many at dinner and was quit pleased with herself. Quit the little exhibitionist.


                        • #13
                          I have seen guys rip a shirt out of a chicks hand that she was about to put on to cover his "evidence". No chivalry there.

                          Got a suspicious vehicle call near a glof course in exclusive area. Find the vehicle unlocked and three purses inside. I D in purses. Witness saw a group of kids walking towards the golf course.

                          We walk over a hill in the course, and there is a High School girl and guy pounding one out. Another gal is sitting right there watching. Upon investigation we discover she is awaiting "her turn".

                          The other girl was in some bushes humming away on dude number 2. Ages 16 to 18.

                          Daddys, lock up you daughters!!

                          [ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: txinvestigator1 ]
                          "Speed is fine, but accuracy is final"--Bill Jordan


                          • #14

                            [ 07-17-2002: Message edited by: Legal Assistant ]
                            This post has been rated PG-13 for your viewing pleasure.


                            • #15
                              The hardest decision a man will ever make. Entering LE, we have visions of that being which child to save from a burning wreck, or whether or not to shoot someone. Oh no. That's not the HARDEST decision to make.

                              A buddy used to work in another county, which is just up the road from a major airport. Often, if it was slow, they'd meet and pull 2, 3, 4 or even 5 abreast in the wide median, and wait for drunks or speeders. This was a major highway, but often deserted after a certain hour, leaving a great chance for speeding and drunks heading home from the "city."

                              When he pulled in, all the guys were listening to the radio show "Love Phones"-seems it was an "interesting" show-they had a female sex therapist discussing, IN DETAIL, the steps and methods by which a woman could pleasure herself. Needless to say, this was entertainment for a group of male police officers.

                              The "show" was interrupted by an OBVIOUS (!) DWI-a car traveling north at about 35-40 MPH (60 zone) and weaving all over the place. My bud, being the rookie, was nominated to get it.

                              He stopped it, and as he made the approach, the interior light came on. It was a beautiful, tan stewardess for the biggest airline in the area, who had just finished a long stretch of duty, and was going home to the next county. "Ma'am, have you had anything to drink this evening?" "Oh no-I just got off work and I'm tired." He didn't smell anything, or see the obvious visual clues, so he was going to cut her loose, assuming she was just sleepy. He said she became flirtatious after that, and started asking him when he got off, and so forth. He said he was flattered, but not being that kind of officer, was trying to break it off, but she got his curiosity up-"she asked, "Don't you want to know why I was weaving?" in a VERY suggestive and playful voice. "He said well you said you were sleepy." She said "No, I said I was TIRED-I'm not sleeeeeepy. Don't you want to knooooooooooow why I was weaving?" (Bear in mind, we have a certain standard to uphold
                              People have more fun than anybody.


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