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The person responsible for those inane warning labels

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  • The person responsible for those inane warning labels

    One of our local agencies responded to an emergency call the other night. Supposedly someone got a bungee cord hook stuck in his finger, but the dispatcher made the revelation that "it sounds a little 13A (suspicious)".

    The officer gets there and find that it's not in his hand, but rather stuck in the backside of his danglies [Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!] !!!

    The officer asked how it happened, and the patient responded that he was sleeping in the nude (a little bit more than we all needed to know) and when he rolled over, he heard a snap and he found that he had been impalled. To me, there seems to be a bunch of steps skipped over and me, with my morbid curiosity, would have had to have asked more questions.

    So, this genius, I'm sure will be responsible for a warning label on bungee cords "DO NOT SLEEP NUDE WITH THIS PRODUCT IN YOUR BED" or "NOT TO BE USED AS A SEX TOY". The last one just ruins for everyone who is responsible with bungees.

  • #2
    I woke up the other day because my older cat had decided he wanted to play "parachutist" and jumped on my leg. It was hot, the sheets were off, I was in boxers. Anyway, he landed with his claws extended, and I don't think he wanted to go anywhere (finally I just yelled at him and he unbolted and ran away).

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    • #3
      Just a bungie cord? That's nuthin...it happens so often that doctors have put together entire web sites devoted to it, complete with x-rays, etc.

      I'm no prude, but we can all live fuller lives without visiting that site

      [ 07-01-2003, 01:59 AM: Message edited by: Niteshift ]
      No longer ignoring anybody here, since that psycho known as "Josey Wales" finally got the boot after being outed as a LE imposter by B&G978. Nice job.

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      • #4
        When I first started as a volunteer EMT, I asked our Director what was the strangest call the service had dealt with.

        He told me the ambulance was called out for a woman with "back pain". They get to the person's house and found a woman in excruciating pain from back spasms. When they finally dragged the story out of her and her husband, it seemed they got a little overly vigorous with a new "tubular massager" [Wink] and it slipped into her rectum. Try as she might, it wouldn't come out. And that was the cause of the spasms.

        It turned out that she was a nurse and refused to go to the hospital that her insurance would cover, since she worked there and knew word would get around. So she had the ambulance transport her to a hospital in another county to keep it quiet.

        The whole ride to the hospital, the husband was riding in the front seat telling the driver "They're going to think it was my fault. I swear to god, it was her idea."
        Caution and worry never accomplished anything.

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        • #5
          quote:
          and it slipped


          Uh-huh. Suuuuuuuure it did........ LOL
          "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
          -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

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          • #6
            Oh, the stories I could tell.........  -

            I don't know why people make up some lame excuse as to what happens. Do they really think people are that obtuse? Just tell the truth already so we can laugh and get it taken care of!

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            • #7
              Years ago when I worked at the hospital, an ER record came across my desk. A juvenile was brought into the hospital with a lacerated "appendage" caused by vigorous "relations". Apparently the young lady involved was willing, but not ready, so to speak. The young man was okay...they sent him to a urologist by the name of...I'm not kidding...Dr. Hung Tu Hi.

              [ 07-01-2003, 12:35 AM: Message edited by: auntysuz63 ]
              "Americans don't want a mentally unstable president; he might start a war or something." - Bill Maher

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              • #8
                Why does this remind me of the thread a few years ago on another board by a guy who asked what one would use to remove paint-on bedliner from his "hootus" (I think he called it). You cannot comprehend the riotous hilarity engendered by that posting--responses went on for days.

                DaveInTx

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