Parents, can you help me...........................

[Urban Jedi]

Can any of you with kids help with some suggestions?

My 3 year old boy is not eating at the moment. He chews his food then spits it out, saying that he 'will choke' on it. He is drinking OK, but wont even eat chocolate or sweets, which is highly unusual. I can only think that a couple of weeks ago, he was choking on some food, which neccessitated me getting it out of his throat for him (slap between shoulders - I am trained!). After this incident, he still ate normally until 3 days ago.

He is a typical boisterous 3 year old with a typical 3 year olds 'picky' diet of mainly nutritous food. He isnt displaying any other symptoms. Is it possible for a three year old to have a phobia????

Any suggestions, websites etc?

Thanks very much people.

Yes we are taking him to the doctors soon.

[shooter1201]

Your doctor will tell you that 'When he gets hungry 'enough', he'll eat.' I know it isn't the 'answer' you were looking for, but.... BTDT......

Just wondering......you know how kids 'pick up on things'....when he was choking, or afterwards, did ANYone make a 'big deal' about him 'dying, almost dying, could have died' sort of thing?

[Mike Tx]

They will eat when they get hungry. Unless he loses a lot of weight or gets sick, let it go for a while. After my six year old had his tonsils out, he wouldn't eat anything for 10 days. He looked like a toothpick. When he got really hungry he ate. He is now 22 and weighs in about 230.

[blondie72]

Shooter has brought up a very good point. If anyone was panicking, or even looking scared and concerned when your son was choking; he will have picked up on it, and this may be helping to fuel the fear he is feeling regarding the whole incident.

It is not uncommon to see a delayed reaction to a trauma like this. One has to remember that to your son, this was a very scary thing that happened. He currently doesn't feel safe eating food he may choke on.

Obviously, the most important concern is that he eats. If you have a blender at home, try making your son vegetable soup. If he is drinking fine, then he will probably eat vegetable puree. Reassure him he cannot choke on puree. If he doesn't want to eat with the spoon, suggest he uses a straw, and try and make it seem fun for him.

The most important thing to avoid is getting angry, frustrated, or scared by your sons refusal to eat. This will only increase the anxiety of the situation, and fuel more confrontation. Especially avoid telling him things like: "But if you don't eat you'll waste away!"

Try him with solid foods at mealtimes, but if he doesn't want to eat it, tell him you can easily puree him something. It is also important that you have 'family meals', and that he sees mummy and daddy eating solid food without choking. Take the focus and pressure off him; and it is possible that he will want to eat what mummy and daddy are eating. If he does, and then begins to spit it out again, don't be discouraged, just reassure him that it's ok...and offer him the soup again. Remember, no soup with bits!

Obviously, it's very important that your childs doctor gives him a thorough check- up. If your child is refusing soup or puree, you will probably get a referal to a specialist.

If your son will eat soup; or puree, then keep offering it to him when he refuses solid food. Remember to take the focus off him during mealtimes, and if you can invite other toddlers or friends over for meals, do. The more people he sees eating food and not choking, the better. However, don't point this out to him and say: "See? so- and- so isn't choing on her food!". Even if you are trying to be encouraging...this will not sound encouraging to your child. When his fear and anxiety have subsided a bit, his desire to be one of the crowd again will encourage him to eat solids. This may take a while, and you may see the problem pop up again another time.

Your doctor, or a specialist may have different advice. Only you, your wife, and your doc should make the decision about how best to proceed!! I'm only speaking from the point of view of a mum who also has a three year old little boy.

Take care, and let us know how your little boy is doing.

[ 03-31-2002: Message edited by: blondie72 ]

[Urban Jedi]

Guys, thanks for your responses.

In answer to a couple of points, no-one made a big deal about the choking incident at all. It was all calm and collected etc.

Blondie - your responses were most helpful, and we'll be trying things out. He isnt even eating pureed stuff, yogurts and evrything. He'll happily suck on food (biscuits, bread) but just wont swallow it. We'll see how it goes for the moment. Its all a bit upsetting at the moment, although hes still drinking and acting normally.

[Mitzi]

This is a little different instance but I can relate to what your son is feeling.
Many years ago, we had steamed clams at a clambake at my brother-in-law's house. A few hours later, I got sicker then I ever thought a human being could be. I mean, I was taken to the emergency room, with dry heaves, sitting on the toilet with my head in a bucket. (Oh, this wasn't funny then but we laugh at now.....my mother insisted I was pregnant!lol I was 17....The dr said to her, "Mam, pregnancy does not give you the runs! lol)
Anyway, It took me days to get well....I had food poisoning. A friend of mine who earns his living from fishing said that I got the worst poisoning there was and I was lucky to be alive.
It took me YEARS to eat another clam. One day, I realized I had eaten clam chowder, not cream of mushroom soup. I froze! But, I didn't get sick. I can eat clam chowder but never ever will I eat clams in any other form whatsoever again.
Your son will eat when he's hungry. It will take him time to realize that swallowing doesn't mean he will choke everytime.

[ 03-31-2002: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[Legal Assistant]

oh Mitzi, i can DEFINITELY relate!!! a few years ago i got sick off of a piece of lemon meringue pie from a fast food restaurant. i used to work at this restaurant and lemon pie was always my favorite dessert there. i remember that day when i ate the slice of pie that i threw 1/2 of it out b/c it just didn't seem right. well, too bad i didn't throw ALL of it out. i hadn't vomited in over 7 years (that was the last time i had the flu) but i did nothing but for an entire day. the next 2-3 days i was so weak and just felt like pure crap. it takes a while to get over food poisoning.

and the worst part??? i had theater tickets for the next night!!! i ended up getting all dressed up and sitting through the entire show...i know i looked like death warmed over...i was pale and sweaty...it was gross. but it was a great show!!! *lol*

bottom line...i have never again even had the desire to LOOK at a piece of lemon pie...yuck!!! as a matter of fact...no lemonade...no lemon candies...no lemon pinesol...no lemons...yuck!!!

[Royal Dragon]

LOL!!!
Sorry for laughing, but this is a funny thread!!

FIRST, serious stuff. Feed your kid peanut butter on your fingertip, and mashed potatos the same way. When he gets hungry enough, he will swollow tiny soft foods. Then slowly ween him back up to normal food.

Now, for MY story. When I was young, I had some sort of ceremony (Confirmation I think), and we had a celebration afterwards. At this celebration we had a bunch of 3 pound bags of Cheetos, I ate 3 by my self!!!

GOD WAS I SICK!!!! I have never before or since been so sick. I was throwing up for days. It was the most horrible experiance of my life!!

To this day, even the site or smell of a Cheeto makes my ill.

Gian