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  • #16
    Originally posted by shooter1201:
    Call me old-fashioned!

    Oh, no! I'm not falling for THAT trap!
    Oh, come on..why not? [Wink]
    "You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas."
    Davy Crockett


    • #17
      interesting that i came across this today. perfect timing.

      Tuesday, June 24, 2003

      Joyce Brothers: Talk to doctor about low desire for sex


      DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I've been married to a man I love very much for almost a year now. Before we got married, we took a vow not to have sex until after our wedding. I'm truly happy to say that I feel he enjoys the sexual aspect of our marriage, but I worry because while I don't dislike it, I guess I'm disappointed. It's not his inexperience. Before we got together, he'd been very active sexually. When I mentioned my reaction to our sex life to my mother, she told me she'd always felt the same way, but she loved my father and the family that resulted from their long marriage. Can you really love a man and still not care too much about sex? -- A.J.

      DEAR A.J.: I believe you should discuss your lack of desire for sex with your physician, because it's possible he or she might be able to help. In both sexes, testosterone and other androgens -- hormones associated with males -- often help to increase sexual desire.

      There are also psychological reasons for lack of desire, such as fatigue, anxiety over anything related to sex, and worry about health, finances or any problem that consistently troubles or frightens the person. Sexual trauma in the past can also inhibit sexual pleasure.

      It's certainly possible to deeply love someone and still get less-than-anticipated enjoyment from the sexual act itself. In fact, a recent book co-written by Dr. Barry McCarthy, "Rekindling Desire," estimates that one in three women has little desire for sex or no desire at all. One in six males has relatively little sexual interest or desire.

      DEAR DR. BROTHERS: Men are supposed to like sex so much, but my husband seems to like money a lot more. Unless he's having a lot of quick sex on the run, he's totally uninterested in it and never makes love to me. Ever since he lost a lot of money in the market and in a business that went bust, it's been more like being married to some religious zealot, only his passion is dollars and cents.

      Right now, I wouldn't be surprised if he's incapable of having sex. Could a man in his mid-40s suddenly become impotent? I'm seriously thinking of having an affair with some guy just to see if my husband is capable of being jealous anymore -- and if he is, that might make him pay some attention to me sexually. -- B.L.

      DEAR B.L.: From what you've written, your husband is under enormous pressure right now, and has been for some time. This degree of anxiety, which probably leads to lack of sleep as well, could certainly cause him to lose interest in sex. He needs your understanding, support and comfort if he's to survive all this. One poll revealed that 14 percent of those surveyed said they thought about money more than sex, politics, family, work and food. Give this guy a break.

      The last thing he needs is for his wife to complicate matters or to deliberately have an extramarital affair in an attempt to make him jealous. First of all, you need to know that jealousy isn't an indication of love. All you'd achieve by doing something like this is to destroy your marriage -- and perhaps your husband, as well.
      I'll post, You argue.


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