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  • police shootings

    Somebody sent this to me in my email:

    Recently, in an area on the West Coast, an inordinate number of police-officer-involved shootings have taken place. As a result, several suspects have been fatally injured. Newspapers in the area, quoting local
    "community activists," have editorialized that, with all these shootings by police, "any citizen" could find himself dodging police bullets, for no
    apparent reason at all! Responding to the newspaper editorial, a Los Angeles Deputy District Attorney, who is obviously community
    minded, submitted a five point plan. The plan is designed to assist citizens, who
    might otherwise be randomly shot by police, in staying out of the path of police bullets.
    The newspaper never printed it, but I thought you might appreciate it, even
    if they didn't.
    **************************************************
    "I've devised a five point plan to help citizens avoid being shot by police.
    This plan may not prevent all shootings, but very few will take place when the plan is rigorously adhered to.

    So, here are the rules:

    1. DON'T COMMIT VIOLENT CRIMES. I know this seems elementary, but this rule is lost on many. They do the crime, get shot, and then
    wonder how it could possibly happen. They whine that it is so unfair. Well, Slick,
    violent crime, like jumping in front of moving cars, is just a high risk occupation, and, in case you missed it, committing violent crimes make police officers think you may not be a good person.

    2. If you ignore rule No. 1, and the police do confront you, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM THEM. I know it's hard to believe, but that may
    make them think you're guilty of something. Hiding in bushes or closets makes some cops (mostly older ones) very nervous. They might even foolishly conclude that you're up to no good!

    3. If you disregard rules 1 and 2, and the cops catch up with you anyway and inform you that you are under arrest, DON'T MAKE FAST MOVEMENTS WITH YOUR HANDS. I know it sounds silly, but grabbing a shiny beer can, a dark colored wallet, or one of those sn***y and real looking replica guns may make police
    officers mistakenly believe that you are about to hurt them.

    4. If you disregard rules 1, 2, and 3, and manage to get what looks like a deadly weapon into your hands, DON'T POINT IT AT THE
    COPS. We all know that you're basically a nice person, but that may be lost on the police officers confronting you. In their
    paranoia, they may even believe they need to protect themselves.

    5. If you disregard rules 1, 2, 3, and 4, DON'T BE ASTONISHED IF THE COPS DO NOT INSTANTLY TURN INTO YOURPERSONAL CONFIDANTE.
    They may be too preoccupied to realize that you're normally a splendid person and that you're just having a bad day. They may be too
    preoccupied to see that when you point a weapon at them in a threatening manner, it is just your way of crying out for help. We both know that the whole problem can be traced to the fact that your mother didn't breast feed you, but some police officers are so cynical they just don't see it.

    So, there you have it. If you really apply yourself and obey even some of the rules listed above, I bet you'll avoid the vast
    majority of police gunfire."

    Cheri Lewis
    Deputy DA
    Los Angeles, California


    "But if it be a sin to covet honor, I am the most offending soul alive." from Henry V, by Wm. Shakespeare

  • #2
    SUPER! This is a KEEPER!

    ------------------
    HEARTS and MINDS
    "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
    -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

    Comment


    • #3
      I had posted this in the jokes section a few weeks back. I thought it was pretty funny too.
      Copper2be

      Comment

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