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Bad American


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  • Bad American

    This was sent to me some time ago and I love to read often. Supposedly George Carlin wrote it, but on his web site he made the statement that he did not write it, so who knows.


    I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel
    governmental functionary, with a bad comb-over, who wants to give it away to
    crack addicts squirting out babies.

    I'm not in touch with my feelings, and I like it that way, damn it!
    I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T, or
    Marilyn Manson sang.

    I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
    I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
    I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in

    I don't use the excuse, "It's for the children," as a shield for unpopular
    opinions or actions.
    I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

    I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
    working at blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
    put your pansy *** through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be

    I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods; just leave
    the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
    Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.

    My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn,
    Medicine Woman. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

    I know wrestling is fake, and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
    I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I
    am freezing my *** through a long winter?

    I've never owned a slave, or was a slave; I didn't wander forty years in the
    desert after getting chased out of Egypt; I haven't burned any witches or
    been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you, so shut-the-f***-up

    I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
    preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of
    the problem and not the solution.

    I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry *** if you're running
    from them. I also think they have the right to pull your *** over if you
    are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

    I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
    deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the
    next four years.

    I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
    or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These people
    should be targets.

    I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should
    be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to
    never delay the rest of us again.

    I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
    I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child; it takes two

    I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
    pretend they are a political statement.
    I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

    I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
    mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

    I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex -- and it is sex for
    both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
    If that makes me a BAD American, then, yes, I'm a BAD American. If
    you too are a BAD American, please forward this to everyone you know. We
    need our country back.
    Criminals prefer unarmed victims.

  • #2
    I am a BAD AMERICAN and f'n proud of it! If no one is taking credit for it I will [Wink] P.C. (politically correctness) is for Pansy(not the word I want, but this is a pg-13 forum) Cowards!

    [ 10-10-2002, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: Mortal Knight ]


    • #3
      It's one those internet hoax things. Ted Nugent has also been credited with writing it. He has denied it although he has said he likes it and published it in his magazine.
      Bill R


      • #4
        Moving this to the Various Topics forum....... where it has ended up every other time this thread has been started.


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