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[Artie]

Texas Cops on Lookout for Missing Barbie Dolls
Thursday July 5 2:37 AM EST

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Missing in San Antonio: 40 small blondes.


San Antonio police are on the lookout for a collection of 40 mint-condition Barbie dolls which fell off a pickup truck last week, a department spokesman said on Tuesday.


"They're still missing," department spokesman Sgt. Gabriel Trevino said.


Alyson Burkett, 21, lost her collection, stored in two boxes, as she and her boyfriend were moving their possessions to a new apartment on Friday.


The collection, which police value at more than $1,000, includes new and vintage Barbies, all of them in original packaging from manufacturer Mattel Inc

[mac90]

Ok. Up against the wall WW...This will only take a minute or so.

[JKT]

A MINUTE or so? Man, you're fast. I'd take at least 5 to 10.

[Mitzi]

I'd like to see you guys TRY to seach me! lol

[Niteshift]

"I'd take at least 5 to 10."

Hey, you take 5 to 10 hours too? Glad I'm not the only one.

[Mitzi]

Niteshift, go stand in the corner and don't come out til I say you can!

[kateykakes]

Originally posted by Niteshift:
Hey, you take 5 to 10 hours too? Glad I'm not the only one.

Oh my!

[Niteshift]

Katey......

If you're going to do something, you might as well do it very, very well.

[kateykakes]

You've left me speechless, Nite (but my imagination works just fine!).

[Jean]

Speaking of Barbie, I saw her today. She wasn't stolen on lost. She ran away. She asked me to forward this letter to Santa:

Dear Santa, Listen you fat troll, I've been saving your *** every year. Being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in December and dressing in fake Chanel at sappy tea parties. I hate to break it to ya', Santa, but it's payback time. There had better be some changes around here, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown, and trust me, you don't wanna be around to smell it.
These are my demans for next Christmas:
1. Sweat pants and an oversize sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker in those hot pink bikini's. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt? I don't suppose you do.
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. That cheap-o molded underwear that some genious at Mattel came up with, looks like cellulite!
3. A REAL man. I don't care if you have to go to Hasbro to get him, bring me GI Joe! Hell, I'd take Tickle Me Elmo, over that pathetic bump of a boy, Ken. And what was up with that earring thing anyway? HULLO?!?
4. It's about time that you made us all anatomically correct. Give me arms that actually bend so I can push away the afore-mention Ken-wimp away, once that he is anatomically correct.
5. Breast reduction surgery. Nuff' said!
6. A jog bra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor, school teacher and make real money.
8. A new more 2001 persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie" with a pint of Cookie Dough ice cream and a bag of chips.
9. No more McD's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl complexion.
10. Mattel stock options. It's been over 40 years. I think I deserve a piece of the action.

Considering my valuable contribution to society and Mattel, I think these demands are reasonable. If you don't like it, you can find yourself a new bi**h for next Christmas. It's that simple.

Your truly, Barbie



[This message has been edited by Jean (edited 07-11-2001).]

[Mitzi]

LOL, Jean!

[mac90]

Did you hear about the new divorcee Barbie doll? She comes with all of Kens stuff!

[ftrphxcop]

Jean,

[Jean]

mac90, Speaking of Ken, I just heard he wants equal rights too!

Dear Santa, It has come to my attention that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my sexuality and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of issues concerning, Ms. Barbie,as well as some of my own needs and desires.
First of all, I, along with several of my colleagues, feel that Ms.Barbie DOES NOT deserve the preferential treatment she has recieved over the years. That b***h has everything! Neither I, nor Joe, Jem or the Raggedy's, Ann & Andy, have dream houses, Corvettes, dune buggies, evening gowns, and some of us do not even have the ability to change our hairstyle.
I have had limited wardrobe, obviously made to compliment but never upstage Ms.Barbie. My decision to accessorize with an earring was immediately quashed, which I protest, for it was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.
I would like a change in my career to further explore my creative nature.
Some options which could be considered are, "Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or "Broadway Ken". Other avenues which could be considered are: "Go-Go Ken", "Impersonator Ken" (with wigs and gowns), or "West Hollywood Ken". These would more accurately reflect my interests and, I believe, open up markets that have been under served. As for Ms.Barbie needing bendable arms, so she can "push me away", I need bendable knees so that I can kick the b***h to the curb.
In closing, further concessions to the "Blonde Bimbo from H*ll", while the needs of others within my coalition are ignored, will result in legal action to be taken by myself and others. And kindly tell Ms.Barbie, she can forget about G.I. Joe.... he's mine, at least that's what he said last night. Sincerely, Ken

[ftrphxcop]

Jean, Again