The advantages of being a woman

[Mitzi]

Ok, I'll repost it below:
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get out of traffic tickets.

We get to get off the sinking ship first.

Taxis stop for us.

We never regret piercing our ears.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We don't have to reach down every so often to make sure important body parts are still there.

Free drinks, free dinners, free moving and repair services.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without picturing them naked.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're well aware that we look like an idiot.

We can amuse ourselves without passing gas.

We can scare male bosses with excuses of mysterious gynecological disorders.

If we're dumb, some people think it's cute.

We've never lusted after the central figure in a computer game.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo!



[This message has been edited by Mitzi (edited 07-08-2001).]

[goodside]

Most of it true, yes. But when a grown woman starts crying over getting stopped, I know what's going on there. I almost always issue a ticket to them...but thanks for playing.

[This message has been edited by goodside (edited 07-08-2001).]

[FLLawdog]

...but thanks for playing.

We have some lovely parting gifts for you, though. Johnny...tell her what she's won!

------------------
FLLawdog
"Never try to teach a pig to sing...it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

[Mitzi]

I only cried one time when a police officer stopped me....and I didn't get a ticket. I was driving when three wasps started flying around in the car. One of them bit me before I could pull over and that's why I was crying.....not because he pulled me over. He said I was drving erratically and that was because of the wasps. We found a total of 7 in the car. How they got there, I don't know. But, I always look before I start up the car now. WOW, did that bite hurt!

[wonderwoman]

[This message has been edited by wonderwoman (edited 07-08-2001).]

[DMS 525]

"And here's what she has won: A case of Turtle Wax, the World Book Encyclopedia, a copy of our home game, and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!"

[goodgirl]

How come there are now two people that have edited out the content of their posts in this thread? I feel like if I don't get here at the right moment that I miss half the fun

Besides, I didn't know it was possible to offend men. Wouldn't that mean that they have to hold a thought in their head long enough to get offended?

By the way, I have cried in the past when I was pulled over. It is not in an attempt to get out of a ticket but a genuine fear of fines

Trust me, the last thing I would consciously do when I have a man in uniform approach my car is to sit there with my face getting all puffy, that real attractive sniffling thing going on and blubbering like an idiot

[FLLawdog]

Who said it offended, Mitzi? You didn't have to edit it out.

------------------
FLLawdog
"Never try to teach a pig to sing...it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

[mac90]

Mitzi, I was deeply, DEEPLY offended by your post. In fact I was so upset I am going to start a club for men only called the woman haters club. I don't know where I got that name, it just came to me. Really it did. Any men who want to join, just email with your credit card number, and I'll put your sign up fee of fifty dollars on it, and then we can talk about the women we hate, and what total cry babies they are when they get a ticket, or break a nail watching a soap opera. Back in the kitchen girls! Ok men, who's first?


No takers? Ok how about this joke?

What are the three disadvantages of being an egg?

1. You only get laid once.
2. You only get ate once.
3. It takes you 15 minutes to get hard.

Hope I didn't offend anybody.

[Mitzi]

Mitzi<-------chasing Mac around with a rolling pin! lol!

[Jean]

[We don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance.]

Mitzi, That has to be the best one!! LOL!!
Thanks for the laugh!

[Mitzi]

lol my husband looks like a TOAD when he dances! lol!

[ALadyToYou]

Go ahead, Mitzi, take a crack at him!

[wonderwoman]

Mitzi,
Editing out posts.... sorry I am having some trouble with my computer encase you thought my editing out had anything to do with men being offended..... Goodness, everyone should know that wouldn't matter to me!!!
You may not of, but just encase....

[ftrphxcop]

LOL! Mac, Only i heard it a little different.

The three worst parts of being an egg are
1. You only get laid once.
2. The only *#@$* on your face is your mothers.
3. And you get to sit with eleven other guys in a small box.

yours was better though

And i would never cry when pulled over. My sister would do anything to keep from getting one though. (The queen of pull overs but no tickets)

Her latest, She actually sat in the hot Az sun and made small talk with a motorcycle officer. And then flattered him by saying only motorcycle officers are real men. Because Anybody can sit in a car with the air conditioning on to wait for the bad guys. But it takes a real man to sit on a motorcycle in the blistering sun all day just to catch the bad guys. Pleeeease! I could just smack her when she gets away with this. Anybody ever get this line, Its my sister and please give her 5 tickets.



[This message has been edited by ftrphxcop (edited 07-08-2001).]