Christmas Trees

[Lictalon]

I'm sitting here next to my Christmas tree, which I hunted down, cut down, dragged up several flights of stairs, sawed apart on my hardwood floor, and stained a nice pair of gloves with pitch for.

The thing looked fine in the field, and is just plain uuuugly now. I doubt very much any amazing artistic talent of my wife will ever save this puppy.

What's everyone else's Christmas tree horror stories? Come on, I can't be the only one who managed to show up Charlie Brown for ugliest tree...?

[jellybean40]

One of the first years i had moved to "the country," my b/f and i went into the woods behind my house to pick a tree and cut it down. we knew we didnt want a real big one, so we found a nice-sized, very pretty one. he sawed it down and we drug it back to the house. after setting it up, and starting to hang the lights, we started itching really bad. come to find out it was some type of cedar tree, and gave us a horrible itch all over our arms and hands. we pulled the lights off and threw it out the back door! later, when we had covered our arms, we drug it back to the woods were it belonged! no tree that year...

[shooter1201]

BTDT....that's why I now BUY my Balsam Fir Christmas tree at LOWE's every year, the weekend after Thanksgiving.

[Chiefy_Brown]

c'mon you guys, the years have clocked by

artificial Christmas Trees ARE environmentally friendly, they look the same - they are the same and they cost the same, virtually

have a conscience and give REAL TREES a wide berth from now on

TREES belong in the ground, giving out precious oxygen and giving little birdies and squirrels a place to rest their tiny heads

artificial trees last donkey's AND can be multi-purpose products

if you stand the thing upside down and screw it anti-clockwise, so it burrows into the lounge floor, voila, you have a summer sculpture/modern art for your summer time neighbours to wow over

my cousin buys 5 artificial Christmas trees, all in descending size

1 in the lounge (the biggest), 1 in the basement, 1 in the kitchen and the smallest in the kids' rooms

try doing THAT with real trees eh ? and don't forget my cousin has the heating on 30 degrees during Christmas, I don't think real trees would like that much eh ?

[shooter1201]

Somehow...it just isn't Christmas without a REAL tree.....

[207]

We have one of those REAL environmentally friendly ones... just take it out of the box, put it together and let there be light.

[Tprspouse]

We've had very good luck with trees, though we had artifical until 4 years ago when we moved to Vermont. Live in Vermont and have a fake tree? Come'on!!!!!!!!!

We cut down our balsam fur every year now. The funniest thing that's ever happened was this year, and all it took was a bit of adjustment. LOL Hubby put the tree up and we decorated it. Sat for a week looking at it...that it didn't look anything like the tree we cut down. The tree leaned to the left a little too much and we thought that the trunk was crooked and just never noticed it. So, we positioned the tree so that it would look ok from the couch. After a few weeks, it clicked that perhaps the bottom of the tree was not all the way down into the base of the waterer. Sure thing...once we put that baby down it's been straight ever since!

[Lictalon]

I'm sorry. As much as a PITA as it was, I need to go down and take a chainsaw to my tree. It just isn't Christmas without all the swearing and cursing.

[InSane1]

My dog used to **** on my tree every year. JUST ONCE. (a year). I finally stopped buying real trees and when I put up the fake one, he ****ed on that too. (just once)...(per year). I don't knwo WTF he was thinking. 11 years I had to go through that. Now, I have no dog, but I sure wish he was still ****ing on my tree, once... per year. I loved him.

[Watchman]

I have a fake that is missing half of its branches due to the cazy white cat that attacks it.

We put it up, it looked good, we came home from work and most of the bulbs were broke and on the carpet. That cat made it his personal endeavor to destroy every ornament on that tree.

To keep the cat from hell off of the tree, we had to remove the bottom 2 feet of branches.

This cat is a kitten and it is very sharp.It knows the word "NO". It will not mess with it while we are in the room. It just looks at it and plans its next attack while it waits for us to leave. If we leave the living room for 30 seconds it will knock another ornament off of the tree,and when we yell at it it will put its ears back and walk off all indignant like only a cat can do. A few minutes later it starts sucking up to you and purring like its asking for forgiveness, but I dont buy it, not for a minute.

That cat is trying to soften us up. My wife thinks it is oh so cute, but most here already know how women are with their cats.

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle here and that dang cat is about to stress me out.

The next time I step on a broken shard of glass that sticks in my foot, that cat is going to go sailing.

[ 12-21-2002, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Watchman ]

[Watchman]

Insane..

you know that ALL males must "mark" their turf. Its just a natural thing to do.

I have personally "marked" most of the county I am in at one time or another...

[ 12-21-2002, 08:44 PM: Message edited by: Watchman ]

[InSane1]

Thats what I figured.

[MadMax]

My tree is enviromently friendly. It's a 12 foot fir, it was hit by a skidder on a logging op, the base of it was smashed.

[kirch]

Here's my Xmas tree horror story.

The year my wife and I were married, we moved into a loft apartment with a cathedral ceiling. We thought it would be really cool to have a tall Xmas tree, so I cut one down while deer hunting. It was 18 feet tall. When I tied it to the roof of my Audi 4000, it was longer than the car. We elicited many stares as we drove home on the interstate.

When we got home, we realized that there was no way an 18-foot tree was going to make it up the stairs and around the corners to get to our apartment. So we tied a rope to it and hoisted it up to the balcony and in through the patio door. A block-and-tackle would have come in handy.

After the tree was up, we got out all our ornaments -- one box. So we only decorated one side of the tree, from the floor up to about 8 feet (as high as we could reach). I nearly killed myself hanging from the loft so I could string lights on the thing.

Then we thought it needed something else. We didn't have any garland so we decided to string popcorn and cranberries. Sounds like a great idea until you actually start to do it. I would spend 2 hours in front of the TV threading popcorn and cranberries and, when I was done, I'd have about 3 feet worth. Do you know how many 3-foot sections it takes to wrap around an 18-foot tree from top to bottom? I do. About 3-weeks-of-nights worth.

The tree had been up, decorated and strung with lights and popcorn, for about a week, when my wife noticed that the cranberries were fuzzy. Apparently fresh cranberries are not the best choice for tree-stringing.

We learned our lesson after that. We bought a 6-foot artificial that served us very well for many years. We're back to real trees now, because the kids really like going out into the woods and cutting down a tree, and we love the smell. When the holidays are over the tree either becomes a habitat for wild birds near our bird feeders or a fish crib in the nearby lake. That settles my ecological conscience.

[Mitzi]

I am allergic to so many things, Christmas trees included. Three years ago, after I spent most of Christmas Eve in the emergency room with breathing apparatus form allergy to the tree, we got an artificial tree. But, my husband bought one of those prelit ones from BJ's this year. It is absolutely gorgeous.....and I'm not allergic to it!
The funniest year was when the cat climbed to the top of the tree and my husband caught it just as it fell. I WAS so mad because he broke two of my campbell's kids ornaments!