To tell or not to tell. That is the question...

[kateykakes]

Ok, here's the scenario. While on AOL a little while ago, I received an IM from someone I haven't talked to in quite awhile. In fact, it's been so long that we've talked, I had already removed his name from my buddy list.

The IM comes across as hello and I respond w/the same. "He" asked what I was doing and I told him I was room hopping, which I was. Told "him" I was going everywhere from gun control, to politics, to religion.

I continued in the chat room I was in, and got another IM asking if I was still there. I said yes, here, but bored.

The response I get, "Hay, you promise not to tell?" I said, "What am I promising not to tell?". She then proceeds to tell me she's on her dad's screen name and was the first time she actually talked to one of her dad's internet friends.

I gave the "If that were my 12 yo son who was on my screen name w/out my permission, I would be very angry". Yada, yada, yada.

She practially begged me not to tell her father. What would you do?

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"There's no place like home."

[Mitzi]

I'd tell. That little girl is asking for problems.

[mac90]

tell.

[wonderwoman]

katey,

If the child is just 12 I would be inclined to say something... sorta like " Hello there, I got an incoming message today at (time)hours from you (or your username) but I am concerned it wasn't you because the person said.......... and I just wanted you to be aware."

[kateykakes]

Very sound advice, WW. Thank you.

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"There's no place like home."

[Sparky]

Twelve year old girls and boys in chat rooms need to be directly supervised (if they do it at all).

There are people out there who steal children and do very bad things to them.

Tell.

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-Sparky

[kateykakes]

I agree, Sparky. The child wasn't in any of the rooms I was in as far as I know. Some how I don't think a political debate would be of much interest to her.

And from she told me, she's 13. I mentioned my 12 yo son and how upset I'd be if he were on without my consent.

I did save the conversation. One never knows....better to be safe than sorry.

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"There's no place like home."

[Don]

Katey do the kid a favor and tell her dad. Of course SHE won't look at it as a favor right now, but too bad...

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I used to have an open mind - but my brains kept falling out.

6P1 (retired)

[Mitzi]

Think of it as doing her a favor, Katey.....There are so many pedophiles online that would just seize the oppurtunity to talk to her....

[Evnings]

I agree katey should tell. It was my daughter katey talked with. I really appreciate being told what my daughter is up to while I'm at work.

I firmly believe that it is all parents responsibilites to tell each other what each others kids are up to. It is not wrong in any way shape or form to advise a parent what their kid is up to. Children need supervision from each and everyone of us.

Thank you katey.

[kateykakes]

Evnings,

As I told you last night, I had a hard time deciding whether or not to tell you. I'm glad I did. I know if it were my son, I'd want to know.

Anyway, thanks for the chat last night. Good luck. Please don't ground her for life!

kate

[cbctech]

Originally posted by Mitzi:
Think of it as doing her a favor, Katey.....There are so many pedophiles online that would just seize the oppurtunity to talk to her....

This is exactly why I am joining the High Technology Crimes Task Force with my local Sheriff's department. I have two little ones... The oldest is 5 now and starts kindergarten today!! Which means he will be using the internet in a very short couple of years, or maybe sooner. Hopefully I can make a difference and put a stop to some of these wacko's who would have taken advantage of this exact situation.

It was better to tell, and even discipline the child (with knowledge) while the only contact is still the keyboard, and not some deranged pedophile on a street corner...

[Niteshift]

Even worse than AOhelL is the IRC. Whatever you can think of is done in there. Pedo pic/movie trading is prevelent since you can bypass the IRC server and connect computer to computer.

For those interested in the topic, including tips and tools to protect your kids you might look here:
http://www.pedowatch.org/

There are also some things there of interest to LEO's investigating this type of activity.

[kateykakes]

Nite,

Thanks for the website.

One requirement I have with my children going online is that I have their passwords. I do go check where they've been, etc. They rarely go online anymore, but when they are there, I want to know what's up. Others may say it's an invasion of privacy, although I beg to differ. As a parent, it's my job to make sure I take the necessary precautions to make sure they're safe.

[GDenman]

I'm thinking about my childhood in the days before computers. Whenever us kids would do something we shouldn't have oughta, some neighbor would usually tell Mom or Dad even before we could get home. Sometimes we thought about doing something but decided we'd better not because someone would tell. Those old folks always stuck together. Us kids didn't stand a chance.

But we grew up the better for it.